Why is my mom sheltering me?
Sounds like a typical mom to me. She's scared. You've changed. You aren't a little boy anymore and that is very scary to parents. She has lost control and knows it. You are an adult. What she is saying is normal. It's normal crazy mom stuff. Learn how to love your mom but have your own life. Stop going to comedy clubs with your mother. Go with friends, coworkers, classmates. Tell her the basics but leave out the details. Reassure her. It sounds like she's worried that you will go down the wrong path. If you know that you won't and aren't, just tell her that and kiss her on the cheek, tell her you love her very much and you are glad she is your mom. Then leave and go live your life. When she drives you crazy (I had a crazy mama, too) hug her and tell her not to worry. Then go do what you want to do.
What can i do about being sheltered my whole life?
I don't think there is a book about being sheltered. Perhaps you can right one once you have the proper experience :) . You shouldn't want to spend time with people who are going to make you feel bad about not having been to a certain place. Good people will say, "wow you haven't been? let's go!" Perhaps now is time to get out. Yes it will be awkward, but there are a lot of people with similar difficulties and the more of you that get out there the more comfortable it will be for you. It is going to be self defeating to think geez I'm so sheltered, I can't go out. Just go places, even if you are going to be utterly quiet, somber, and different than everyone else. Just try to take care of yourself and be in places that you are getting something happy out of it. Don't force yourself to be too social at first as this could damage your self esteem more. Just be out and get a feel for things, learn what sort of places/people you like or don't like. This is most important, because when you find this you will be able to find your home. Just getting out going somewhere, doing something is most important. And going easy on yourself. You should feel at least like you learned something or are a little bit refreshed/woken up after going out. And while you may feel like you are that great, you are probably a kind or warm hearted person and remind yourself of that before you put yourself down. There are people who will appreciate you, but they might be hard to find at first (they might not look or act like what you expect of them).
HELP, about to be 18 and SHELTERED whole life...?
go to college.
I'm 19 and sheltered, and I want to start living life, but I don't know how. Where do I start?
Go for a walk. Just put on a coat, some comfy shoes, grab a bottle of water, and go for a walk. Each walk you take, extend the duration of time and the distance you go. Get to know where you live. Once you've done that, do a small thing you haven't done before. For me, that was using an escalator for the first time. Small steps like those expand your horizons in a slow and healthy manner.
Why do parents shelter their kids so much?
Because sometime kids make the wrong choices....maybe that's why
What makes someone 'sheltered'?
Sheltered is the absence of experience Experience is the accumulation of good judgment Good Judgment comes from learning from bad decisions. Bad decisions is what you don't have when you are sheltered. To quote the 48 Laws of Power: Law 18 Do not build fortresses to protect yourself- Isolation is dangerous. 'The world is dangerous and enemies are everywhere. Everyone has to protect themselves, a fortress seems safest. But Isolation exposes you to more dangers than it protects you from. It cuts you off from valuable information, it makes you conspicuous and an easy target. Better to circulate among people, find allies, mingle. You are shielded from your enemies by the crowd." And in my own personal view, you don't fix it. You evolve your mindset, to either be more open to new things (Example: The movie "Yes Man") which can lead to being taken advantage of. Be more confident, in which you approach every situation as something you wish to command to control. (Example: Hitler) But those are the extremes and you just want a balance. Fact is you just need to give yourself some more exposure to the world. To see it in different perspectives, where you either embrace it or wish to change it. But it all requires a bit of faith and confidence, in yourself and the things that you wish to do. And let us not forget courage. So find partner in crime, someone to inspire you who can introduce you into new things. Learn from the people you speak too, yet be as you are now and question how they became the person that they have. Never follow the footsteps of another, simply learn from them so you can leave footsteps of your own.
What do you think of over sheltered children as teenagers ?
When i say over sheltered i mean the parents don't let them go out unless they are with them or know the person personally, and how would you think they would act as a adult ?
My 16-year-old son wants to ask a girl out even though I'm telling him that he needs to study at this age and girls are a distraction. What can I do?
Oh geez. Now come on.Why don’t you chain him to the bed with his books and slip his meals under his door until he goes to college or leaves home to get a job?Do you REALLY think that weekend dates or having her as a study buddy or as a dinner guest once in a while is THAT big of a deal? What, do you intend for him to study all the time when he’s not in school or sleeping or eating?Part of growing up is learning how to relate to people and having fun with your friends. How exactly is he supposed to learn how to relate to people and to have a normal socialization if he can’t go out with well over half the population at his school? How will he learn to be comfortable around girls if he doesn’t practice how to ask them out and be with them in a dating situation? And if he can’t talk to YOU about girls and dating and intimacy, the adult who has life experience in these matters and has his best interests at heart, then where is he supposed to go?What should you do?Go to your son, apologize for being insensitive, and tell him to ask the girl out. Tell him it’s okay for him to have a girlfriend—he’s 16, for crying out loud. That’s plenty old enough. Give him advice on how to do it if he needs it. Tell him though, you consider school to be important, and that dates should be limited to the weekends so that he has time to study. He will be in school with her so he can see her then and talk to her then and have lunch with her then. But weeknights are study nights and you will expect him to study on school nights.And for cripes sake, EDUCATE the boy about girls and how to behave around them and your values regarding teen sex and all the things that go along with that so that he doesn’t do dumb things that can mess up his life. He’s letting you into a part of his life. Take advantage of the fact that he wants to talk to you.Let the boy be a boy. Normal 16 year old boys want to date—and they should. Let him grow up a little bit, and be a help, not a hinderance.
How does one go out into the world when they have been sheltered their whole life?
It's tough to be sure. The hardest lesson I had to learn is to think for myself. It was a rough transition too. I moved out when I was 18. Not because my parents were horrible, but I am very independent and was eager to strart my adult life.I had a lot going on, my son was just born, his mother and I were kids ourselves and didn't get along. I was working a very physically intense job with a long commute.Living on my own though suprised me. It was the first time I was alone with my thoughts. And all the issues I avoided up to that point started to creep up. Why? I had no distractions. No parents or sibblings to interrupt me. I was terrified.I had some very adult decisions to make and nobody I could talk to without calling or going to visit could help, these are my problems and I must take responsibility for them. Eventually, I faced my problems, decided what I wanted from life and took steps toward that goal.That meant breaking up with my son's mother, because our realtionship was toxic. That also meant I had to file a court hearing for partial custody of my son. Hire a lawyer, pay child support ect.I decided to go back to college which meant I had to quit my job and move back with my parents, which may seem to some like a step backwards, but really it was a step to secure the future I wanted.Those decisions lead me to my wife and that was 20 years ago, and I'm very happy.I actually wrote my goals down, which I think are important, because one of them were “I'm want to make enough money to travel and do the things I enjoy, I am okay not being rich”, “I want my wife to he my best friend” so on and so forth.Here's the key, because I decided not to be rich, that ruled out for me that I would open my own business. I had to accept and be okay with working for someone who will dictate my working life. I traded potential wealth, for a steady income. And I had to he okay with all that entails.Good luck!