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Can You Rewrite This Paragraph It

Explain where it could be improved. Then,rewrite the paragraph to make its writing stronger.include hook,supporting evidence,topic sentence.?

In no fewer than three sentences, critique the following paragraph. Explain where it could be improved. Then, in your own words, rewrite the paragraph to make its writing stronger. Make sure you include a hook, supporting evidence, and a topic sentence. Use correct spelling and grammar.

Playing in the snow is one of my happiest childhood memories. The winter offers more than a time for kids to have fun. There are many things to do in the snow. It is unfortunate that so many people find the wintertime annoying. More people should step outside to enjoy the snow. I am glad I grew up where it snows.

Please help we rewrite this paragraph .?

The bakers created cakes (on the television show). The bakers competed against each other (for a prize). The bakers were required to build their cakes (within seven hours). Cakes represented a certain theme. Cakes also met certain requirements (in the contest).

I put parenthesis around all the prepositional phrases. Notice how they all start with in/for/to/on/within...etc, and aren't necessary for the sentence to be complete. Also notice how they are all at the end of the sentences. By sentence variety she means putting them in different places within the sentences (at the beginning, middle, or end instead of all at the end)

For example:
On the television show, the bakers created cakes. The bakers competed against each other for a prize. The bakers, within seven hours, were required to build their cakes . Cakes represented a certain theme. In the contest, the cakes also met certain requirements .

How would you rephrase this paragraph as a novel writer?

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Please help with english / Rewrite the following paragraph with the goal of reducing unnecessary wordiness.?

In my opinion, our country will be served much better than it is being served now if we had a President in office who was much more concerned with the welfare of the common people than with the welfare of big corporations. I think that the President is so concerned about getting elected back into office for his next term that he has to focus too much energy on raising money for his next campaign. To get that money, he has to rely on big contributions from big corporations that contribute a lot of money to campaigns. These corporations expect something in return for these contributions, so they only give it to him if they think he is going to reward them with laws and policies that are good for them. What is good for them is not usually good for the common people in this country, so I believe we need to do something so that this changes.

How do you write a paraphrase after reading a chapter or a paragraph?

Hi, everybody! if you deal with the paraphrasing paragraph, you will have to be really attentive and careful. You would have to read the paragraph firstly, analyze and highlight the best features and ideas. Changing the sentence structure isn't the main technique yet it is the best one. There likewise exists a considerable measure of writing that could make the reworking issues clear for you. This data could be effectively found on the web, just make a decent investigation and try to find out more data about us.To make your revamping extraordinary, you should manage some things:• know the procedure and the methods for managing the rephrasing• read the text carefully before the writing, it is also better to highlight the important points• you can likewise utilize the online device and get your outcomes extremely quick but they would not be fruitfulNot everyone knows how to rephrase at the good level, so it is better to find out a lot of information about it.

Rewrite the following paragraph so the structure is improved?

Rewrite the following paragraph so the structure is improved.

There has been just as free-and-easy an inter-borrowing of slang as of legitimate words among various sections of the English language world. No longer do British audiences need a printed glossary to understand an American detective play. "Tough guy," "lay off," "cop," "oh yeah," are among terms that an English police officer hates to admit have gotten into the vocabulary of British youth. Americans have borrowed English terms like "fed up," "swank."

How can i rewrite this paragraph.. its confusing paragraoh?

Well, I can't re-write this for you because you wouldn't be learning anything, but I can give you some tips.

First of all, read the sentences aloud. Where you naturally stop will probably indicate where a period should be.


RUN-ONS:
If you read a sentence with TWO IDEAS in it and NO CONNECTING WORD (like, as, and, or, etc.), then this is probably a run-on sentence.

Example:
-Sally and Jim went on a date they ate ice cream.
--There are TWO SEPARATE ideas here - "Sally and Jim went on a date" and "they ate ice cream." You can make them separate sentences or connect them:
---Sally and Jim went on a date. They ate ice cream.
---Sally and Jim went on a date and they ate ice cream.
--Both of these options don't flow well, so you could further change this to:
---When Sally and Jim went on a date they ate ice cream.
---Sally and Jim went on a date and ate ice cream.
---Sally and Jim ate ice cream when they went on a date.


FRAGMENTS:

A fragment is an incomplete sentence (i.e. an incomplete thought). If a sentence does not have a verb, then it is probably a fragment.

Example 1:
-My dog ran away. To the neighbor's house.
--"To the neighbor's house" is a fragment. What ran away to the neighbor's house? We have no idea! These sentences could be made into one:
---My dog ran away to the neighbor's house.

Example 2:
-When my dog ran away.
--When my dog ran away... what? We may be concerned about the fact that your dog ran away, but we're not quite sure why. When your dog ran away, he quickly came back home? When your dog ran away, he was hit by a car? Who knows?!
--How about: When my dog ran away. He came home the next day.
---We now have the first sentence, which is a fragment, and the second sentence which is not. We can fix it like this:
---When my dog ran away, he came home the next day.

I won't offer any advice on commas because I use way more than necessary.

Good luck!

English three. Rewrite the following paragraph so the structure is improved?

There has been just as free-and-easy an inter-borrowing of slang as of legitimate words among various sections of the English language world. No longer do British audiences need a printed glossary to understand an American detective play. "Tough guy," "lay off," "cop," "oh yeah," are among terms that an English police officer hates to admit have gotten into the vocabulary of British youth. Americans have borrowed English terms like "fed up," "swank."

Please help me with this!

Message Readability: Rewrite the following paragraph to vary the length of the sentences and to shorten..?

the paragraph so it looks more inviting to the readers: Although major league baseball remains popular, more people are attending minor leagues baseball games because they can spend less on admission, snacks, and parking and still enjoy the excitement of America's pastime. Connecticut, for example, has three AA minor league teams, including New Haven Ravens, who are affiliated with the St. Louis Cardnals; the Norwich Navigators, who are affiliated with the New York Yankees; and the New Britian Rock Cats, who are affiliated with the Minnesota Twins/ These teams play in relatively small stadiums, so fans are close enough to see and hear everything, form the swing of the bat connecting with the ball to the thud of the ball landing in the outfielder's glove. Best of all, the cost of the family outing to see the rising stars play in local minor league game is just a fraction of what the family would spend to attend major league game in much larger, more crowded stadium.

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