I have no husband, no boyfriends, no family, no job, and no kids. I am 34. Am I a loser?
Hey there… I'm in a similar situation! I'm 38, no children, no steady boyfriend, no work prospects that even remotely interest me, no parents (we don't speak anymore as their religious beliefs interfere immensely with any hopes of communicating), no savings account.. instead of focusing on all the negatives, I choose to focus on the positives! check it out- You and me have FREEDOM in common. Freedom to do whatever we want- without having to consider spouse and children etc into any life decision! How many people would kill to have FREEDOM to whatever they wish without having to discuss with household members.Since there’s nothing tying you down to any obligations, you could travel and apply to work in a field that interests you in the travel & tourism industry! That way you can see the world and fill blank space on your resume.Also, time alone is never a bad thing. It's good to get to know yourself- so that way you are able to decipher what it is you'd like to do with your life. In the 7 months I've been without a traditional job, I began selling vintage clothing online, one of my passions! It's not extremely lucrative but I enjoy my work immensely. Find your passion and go with it! Last week alone I sold over $350 in vintage clothing online. It's a start of something that can lead to new things! You never know!I also volunteered with a Friends of the Haleakala National Park and spent a long weekend, hiking 4 miles into the crater to eradicate invasive plants and camp in a cabin with 12 other people. I met a guy on this volunteer trip, and we are still in contact today. So find something to get involved in and pursue it! Donating your free time to a good cause only builds up your karma.I hope this helps! Don't let society dictate your life and how you feel about it. There's so much pressure placed on women especially to have certain life milestones accomplished by certain ages. Well I say To Hell With That Noise- I will dictate my life myself and not give in to what everyone else thinks I should be doing. Besides, each one of us are in various life stages, who are we to tell another what to do and how to do it!Hang in there, sister! Make the best of it! Find the little joys where you can. Be positive. I promise it will all work out for the best.
Why do you women stay with abusive husbands or boyfriends??
I just found out that my friend who is 32 years old got beat by her husband (this is nothing new) and is on her 3rd bottle of pills. It hurts me to hear this that she was beat up but then she stays in that relationship. Her reason for not leaving is her daughter. She has a 16 year old son and 10 year old daughter. Why do you women put up with this? And the excuses for staying are ridiculous. There's nothing that can justify why you stay with a man that uses u as his beat up toy.
My boyfriend won't spend time with me when he has his kids. Should I be patient or end the relationship?
Ah, a tricky situation, to be sure. Having been in a slightly similar situation to you, I can tell you that you need to have a sit down and hard think about this relationship. I assume you have no kids of your own -is that right? I know you can’t answer me (ha ha), so I will assume that. Based on that assumption, you are in the unenviable place that all of us without children find ourselves: of playing second fiddle to someone else’s kids. I hate it. A lot. Which is why I’ve decided to make the supreme effort NOT to be with someone with kids next time I get married. It’s just not worth it. No matter how loving a person who has kids may be, you and I will always come after their kids. Now on the one hand, one can argue that as being totally appropriate. But, the truth of the matter is that it’s not healthy. In an ideal world, the kids and the step mom / dad would have equal value. It’s been my experience that such balance is incredibly rare. Indeed, some people are actually proud of the fact that they put their kids above the SO! That, IMHO, is very unhealthy, immature and manipulative.Anyway (climbing down off my hobbyhorse…), you need to face the fact that this is likely a permanent thing, or at least one that is going to be long-lived. You don’t need to feel guilty about your desire to be with your BF when he’s with his kids, but you do either have to make peace with the fact that this is his way, come hell or high water, or you will need to find someone who doesn’t have kids. There are more guys without kids than women (as I’ve discovered to my dismay), so your chances of finding a guy who is childless is pretty high. I don’t think this is a trivial matter - it’s actually very important. If you and your BF can’t come to an agreement on this, one way or the other, it will be a thorn in your relationship that generates bitterness and resentment until the cows come home.Blessings to you, my friend. Please make good, healthy choices for yourself, looking to the long-term. You need to feel loved and cared for and special. If your BF’s lifestyle is such that you don’t feel that, you’re just with the wrong guy - it’s not one’s fault, it’s just life.
Why don't women leave when husbands are abusive?
You will always receive the same answer from women: - she was too scared - she had nowhere to go - etc... All of this implies that she is not an adult, as she cannot make her own decisions. This nonsense has been used to justify the creation of women's 'shelters', which are in fact simply gov't funded man-hating organizations. If women cannot make mature decision, women are not adult enough to: - vote - own property - work But, alas, this doesn't seem to matter as we live in The Feminist Republic of America.
In the Mexican culture, why do the women pretend their boyfriends are their husbands even with no marriage?
Over the years I have met several Mexican girls ranging in age from 19 to 30 years old and the ones who had boyfriends always referred to their boyfriends as their husbands and said they were married even though they were not legally married. They would call their boyfriend's sister their sister-in-law and their boyfriend's mother their mother-in-law, and usually all of them lived under one roof. The sad part is that some of the girls I met were never legally married and had 2 or more children each from a different boyfriend, and at the time I met them they were unmarried and their last boyfriend wasn't even around. It seems unwise for these young Mexican girls to put their complete trust in their boyfriends who don't seem to care too much about the girl or the child that they have together. I didn't know if this was a Mexican custom that has passed down from generation after generation and dates back to a long time ago, or if it is just a recent trend (continued below)
Is it unusual or weird that my husband is EVERYTHING to me?
I am 25 and he is 30, we've been together for 8 years, married for 5. No kids and we like it that way :-). Anyway, many of my friends (guys and girls) think I have a weird marriage because we enjoy doing things together still and WANT to do things together. We were discussing death, etc one time (my husband wasn't there but I was with a lot of friends) and one person said if her children died she would see no reason to live. I stated I feel that way about my husband; if he were to pass I wouldn't commit suicide but I would feel like I'd lost everything and there would be no reason to live anymore. He truly is everything to me and I love him so much! Why are some of my friends critical over that? I don't feel that we are needy to each other, my husband plays golf, goes to the bar with co-workers, watches sports, etc without me all the time if I don't want to go, busy or working and it doesn't bother me. Are my husband and I weird???
Do you love your husband/wife more, or your kids more?
That is so hard... You are right you do become one.. and honestly, I feel horrible admitting this, but if we were in a car accident and I lost my husband I would feel worse than if I lost my child.. Not because I don't love my children, I do, more than anything in the world lol, but because If I loose my husband, my children don't have their father we don't have our family.. if my husband we lived we could always have more children if we wanted.. not that I would replace my babies or anything, but just being able to reproduce with that same man would mean a lot.. I can't even explain it.. I know it sounds horrible though..
My husband won't give me his cell phone number?
I answered your last question a minute ago, and I just want to know one thing: do you have "SUCKER" tattooed on your forehead? Later edit: I am so sorry for saying that, please forgive me. I see that I have blamed the victim, and that was cruel of me. There comes a point, though, when you have to ask someone how long she is going to continue to allow herself to be victimized. I mean this in the nicest possible way: please find an empathetic counselor who can help you figure out why your self-esteem is so low and how to build it up and become assertive.