Can you have more than One Best Friend?
My Uncle told me when I was fifteen that at the end of your life if you have but one or two genuine friends you are truely lucky.. All the rest are just acquaintances really.. I agree totally with what MELINDA C had to say.. One best friend.. There is one you know you feel more comfortable with, but you don't have to advertise it to the other who I would call a close friend.. then you have your acquaintances. Situations change with friendships as you mature and have a family. It is impossible to nurture so many other close relationships properly..
What if I don't have friends in any of my classes?/:?
Ouch...that hurts, I was a loner last year, and ya kind of insulted me... I was a sophomore last year and I had no friends in any of my classes. It sucked. But you make friends, chances are that there will be someone else in your class that doesn't really have any friends either. At first, you'll awkwardly partner up with them in group activities, but soon enough a real friendship will start blooming. This year (junior year), I have a ton of friends in all my classes. And I thought it would be great, but honestly I can't concentrate on my work. They are always talking and I always get in trouble with them (even if I don't talk) because I'm guilty by association. It gets quite annoying really; I kind of miss the days where I was alone in my classes ;D But seriously, don't sweat it. It's high school; pretty much everyone encounters a class they don't know anyone in. Just be friendly and approachable and approach others. Remember, you're not going to have friends in every part of life. One day, you will be going to a college where you don't know many people. Or starting a job where you don't know anyone. Not having friends in your classes will help build your social skills which will help your character in the long run.
Why do I have no friends?
Don't beat yourself up, that is the message I would give. I have few friends but I have a great wife and child and the few friendships that I do have are worth keeping a hold of. I am 40 and am very independent; I don't rely on other people for my own amusement and I don't live to social pressures on how many friends one should have. I am also very confident but this comes from a position of self-acceptance which has taken many years to cultivate. The central message is that it is OK to be you, the only time this should be an issue is if your perception of lack of friendships are getting you down. It is the belief you need to tackle, not the friendships. If you see it as a problem then it is. Oh, and I also had an orphanage background having lost my mother when I was three and my father doing an 18 stretch. This has inevitably left a dent in me, but in many ways this has also made me unique and strong and added a number of other qualities to my personality that the out-and-out socialites just don't get. No matter how lousy you may feel, I have had good people in my life tell me that 'life has a way of working itself out'. I agree - it certainly has.
Take a look at why that might be. It’s never the rest of the world. If nobody likes you, it’s something you are doing. No one really knows how they come across to others. For years, I thought I was being very considerate and thoughtful, and I was. But a lot of what I did didn’t look that way to them. I was very lucky to have had some people in my life who told me what was going on, but it didn’t happen until my 40s.I never thought to ask others, but I would suggest that to you. If there is really on one you can talk to about it, then talk to a counselor. A lot of people think seeing a therapist or counselor means there is something wrong with you or you are weak or stuff like that. None of that is true. What it means is you realized you can’t do everything yourself and you are seeking help.And I may be way off the mark. But I do know that you draw into your life the people you want in your life, though it usually doesn’t look that way to you.
I confessed to a good friend of five years that I had deeper than platonic feelings for her. It was the kind of circumstance where I had nothing to gain by remaining silent. She had acquired a new boyfriend (knowing that I was available) and wanted to go into a venture with me which would require us spending a lot of time in close proximity. This would only have resulted in a painful and frustrating situation for me.I simply stopped texting/phoning or having dinner with her. After a few months, she sent me a text message suggesting we go out to dinner. Perhaps she felt that enough time had passed for me to get over her, I don’t know. In any case, I texted her back saying that based upon our prior conversation I have backed off. I assured her that it was not her fault, that I was not angry with her, and that it was MY problem and something that I needed to do.Over the next several months she sent me friend requests on Facebook (one announcing the birth of her daughter) which I simply ignored. There were one or two e-mail invitations to certain events she was attending, but I politely declined and wished her well.The only other times I was in contact with her was when I ran into her at an event put on by a mutual friend which was very awkward and uncomfortable for me, so I left as soon as it was socially acceptable to do so without insulting the host.Other than that, I was in contact with her when I received word that her mother had died and expressed my condolences via e-mail. I have not been in touch with her for almost a decade. She, wisely, has stopped trying to get in touch with me.I’m not angry with her, I don’t hate her, and I still care about her, but I am absolutely convinced that cutting myself off from her was the right decision.
Indeed! I have many friends I don't trust. In fact, I can think of only a handful of people I know whom I do trust...but wait, trust HOW? I have friends I would not trust to watch my cat, but whom I would trust to do other things. Some friends I trust with a confidence, others I trust to forget me or what I asked them to do no matter what. They're flakes. I trust that they're flakes, and trust them not to deliver. So, the word trust must be further defined. Who do you trust with your money? Your children? Your personal secrets? Your fears? Your lies? We all have friends we trust in the sense we know what to expect, or not expect. Some friends you enjoy and socialize with because you're co-workers, or in the same industry, but you'd never give them a key to your condo for the weekend. There are people I barely know, but would trust implicitly with any aspect of my business or life because I know their reputation and their actions have proven consistent over time.Maybe a better question would be, "Whom can I trust to ______" and then figure out what each of your friends brings to the relationship equation. Some are irresponsible, but fun. Others are dependable and honest, but boring. You'd trust them with your insurance policy and finances, but not to be a good plus one for a wedding. Everyone has their strengths. My friends know they can trust me to tell them the truth about anything they ask, even if it hurts or humilates them. People who don't know me trust me with all kinds of things because their friends do.Here's one more secret - the more trustworthy YOU are the more trustworthy your friends will be. When we are trustworthy we recognize when someone is not. Be an honorable person and you will know almost every time who deserves your trust, and who does not.