If a girl says no, does it actually mean yes?
I call B.S. on every single one of you!First of all this doesn’t have to mean sex. Not every male is trying to rape someone.Second, have you ever talked to a women in your life? Women regularly avoid saying what they actually think. Basically anytime they disagree with you they will smile and lie to your face.Thirdly, the Quora question, “A guy asked me out today and I told him "no", but I wanted him to try harder. Why didn't he try again?” has over 2 million views.Fourth, girls repeatedly complain that boys aren’t getting the ‘hints’ that they are giving them because they don’t want to come right out and say what they are thinking.Fifth, if you do take what girls say for face value than they will be mad at you for not realizing that they meant the exact opposite. They will then give you the silent treatment. If you get mad at them for giving you the silent treatment they will then become counter mad at you.Sixth, girls will flat out say yes when their head is screaming, NO! This is especially true if it involves dating. They will say yes to a super hot guy who suggests an activity they aren’t interested in AND yes if they feel bad for the guy, and then give them a pity date.Sometimes No does mean Yes in girl language, quite often actually. Lets stop pretending for a second that it doesn’tInstead of living in lalala land and getting mad at people for not knowing exactly what we are thinking -or pretending “no always means no” every time- we need to instead give tools to men and women on how to actually communicate effectively in relationships. Dr. John L. Lund has figured out a strategy called ‘content communication’ that solves miscommunication issues 98% of the time.
If you are angry, do you say things you don't mean?
Hmm. I have a bad temper & I say a lot of hurtful things when I'm angry but nothing like what your husband said. I might call names or take a dig at his character just because I know it's a weak spot for him (not proud of that btw) but what your husband said was very pointed. I can't imagine just saying something that random if there weren't any truth behind it. That doesn't sound like something that's just said in the heat of the moment. But what do you think? I don't know your husband. Are those comments totally off the mark? Or are you kind of not really much fun to be around? I'm just saying.
When people say mean and hurtful things to you when they are angry, do they really mean all those things?
They call it emotional abuse. You should avoid those who abuse you.At the moment, they mean it and they want to hurt you just as if they kicked you in a sensitive spot. They may feel attacked or defensive or just angry. The anger may have been prompted by anything including something you said.People often do not know how to deal with negative emotions. They are taught to classify the world into good and bad. Life is not so simple but TV and some movies would have you believe there are only good guys and bad guys and the line is clear. The truth is we are both and there is a lot of gray.Because we can't acknowledge the bad in ourselves, we deny it. We pretend it doesn't exist and we accuse others of the traits we have disowned. Our negative emotions build and fester until they explode. It is immature and irresponsible to blame others for our problems.These are defense mechanisms and they are there to protect us from pain but they may also keep us from truth and the ability to solve our problem. It's our job to become self aware and conscious and mature and not unload on others. Many fail.Generally, avoid such people. Know that by engaging with them you actually enable them. Don't even try to figure out if they mean it. Just walk. Never let anyone abuse you. Hope they will become more self aware and conscious and will find their way to maturity.
When a man tells a Woman she's Vanilla? Is this a bad thing???
If someone called you "Vanilla" they are trying to say that you are plain, boring, simple, etc. It doesn't necessarily mean a bad thing... the person who said could be a big fan of Vanilla! And if someone said that about you in a bad way it doesn't really mean you need to change yourself... you should always be yourself and never change to try and please someone else! The reason someone may have said that about you could be that they just know the real you! Or maybe they just have different interests than you do so to them... you are vanilla! I say if you want to change this persons opinion of you... let them really see who you are and what interests you... really show your personality!!
My boyfriend gets really mean when he drinks..?
We have been dating for 8 and we are very much in love and we have a really great thing going. The only problem is when he drinks to much he gets mean. He drinks almost everyday but every now and then he will drink way to much. It's only happened about 3 times but about a week ago he drank way to much and when we got back to his place he got mad because he thought that I laughed at him but obviously that didn't happened. He completely blew up over the stupidest thing and said some of the meanest things anyone has ever said to me and he even made me sleep on the floor that night. The next day when I talked to him about it he felt so bad about everything and apologized about 100 times and he really made it up to me by making me dinner. Last night it happened again, he had to much to drink and I told him I was tired and ready to go back to his place and he got mad because he wasn't ready to go so I just walked away and avoided him till he was ready and when we got back it started again he started saying mean things and calling me names and he even told me that I'm the reason he drinks. But I don't understand because we are generally a happy couple and never argue the only time we argue is when he drinks. Once again he feels bad and is very sorry and apologized a bunch. I just need some opinions from other people because I don't know what to do, I love this boy with all my heart but I can't keep having him drink to much because the things he says hurt so much. tl;dr
Does Scorpio mean those words or is he just angry?
yes, scorpios say the most HURTFUL stuff when they're pissed off. i guess they do that because they are all about emotion, and how they literally swim (drown) in what they feel. for instance, my fiancee's a scorpio, and when she's angry, she can say really nasty stuff like "i'm calling off this useless piece of **** wedding (...that i've been waiting for all 28 years of my life!)" or like "i'll throw this stup*&d ring out the window or better yet i'll throw it to your FACE!" horrible isn't it? but guess what -- she loves me. tremendously. i think she seethes that much because she loves me that much. i'd say give the scorpio time to cool down. when they've cooled down, that's when you can talk to them. and with my fiancee, she is incredibly caring, loving, and really walks the extra mile for me WHEN she has cooled down... ... and this means you cannot go head to head with her in argument because really, you cannot win -- and neither can she. in short, you both lose and end up completely miserable. all in all, perhaps it's not simply about astrological signs; i think it has a lot to do with understanding, patience, acceptance, compromise, etc. it's the kind of stuff that keeps any relationship -- regardless of signs -- together.
My boyfriend has a bad temper and sometimes says mean things he doesn't really mean. How can I get him to stop?
Your question is actually two questions. You say your boyfriend has a bad temper which is the (number 1 problem) and he says mean things to you ( number 2 problem) and you say he doesn’t really mean them ( number 3 problem) and you think YOU can get him to stop being angry ( number 4 problem ) and stop saying mean things to you. ( Number 5 problem) .So I’m going to explain a couple of things really gently because I have worked with many people like yourself. I’m just going to give you some facts. I realize that you probably want to give him the benefit of the situation , or the reason he has a bad temper is because he had a rough childhood, or it was something you said or did that you shoudn’t have, or he suffered a closed head injury and now explodes when angry, or his job is very stressful so he is on edge most of the time. Listen , YOU can not make this stop, only he can and this can only happen if he recongnizes it and wants help with it, that means he seeks out the help , it does not mean you saying “ Hey honey you need to go get counseling becasuse your anger if over the top.” Because that would be like you are trying to change him and that just causes resentment . Secondly , what ever is coming out of his mouth , don’t let him fool you, he means, he just is upset and doesn’t have his filters on and his good boy pants pulled up. He probably says when you ask him, “ Oh I didn’t mean that , I was just angry.” That’s Bull. If he didn’t mean it he wouldn’t be saying it. Again, the only person you can control is yourself. Do yourself a huge favor and get out before more harm is done. People deserve to be in HAPPY, WELL CARED FOR, LOVING , TENDER RELATIONSHIPS. Life is not a dress rehearsal. We are only here once. Learn and move on. Good Luck to you!!!
Do verbal abusers mean what they say when they attack you verbally?
A2APeople who are verbally abusive use their words to tear you down. That is their intention. However, they also may use projection in which they are putting their thoughts and feelings on to you. They still use these words to tear you down, but it might be slightly less than intentional and rather a very unhealthy coping mechanism that is engrained in their psyche.Whether or not they believe the things they say to you may be questionable. My ex used to tell me I was beautiful and looked good and then minutes later tell me I was ugly and worthless. He made demeaning comments about my body including my genitalia, but then would talk about how much I turned him on. I stopped trying trying figure out which he thought was true and which one he really believed, and learned to hold confidence in myself from within as I had always done before.Whether or not they mean what they say, their behavior is extremely toxic and can tear down the even the most confident of people. If they refuse to seek help to change this behavior, the best thing to do is distance yourself from the abuser. You can only rationalize their irrational behaviors for so long before it sucks the life out of you.