I can't trust anyone and I don't like people.?
Hey, so I am 20 years old. I have no friends and nobody really talks to me. I try making conversation with people and put forth an effort to make friends but nobody is interested. I have no social skills and do no trust a single person. I have been stabbed in the back and screwed over so many times that I don't think anyone is a good person anymore. Whenever I discover a trait in someone new (that someone in the past who screwed me over possessed) I don't want anything to do with them because they all end up being the same. I have no self esteem or confidence in myself and it's impossible to build any up if I keep getting reminded of how shitty everyone is every time I come out of my shell to talk to people. I just don't understand anyone and I feel like an alien. I hate big crowds and I fail at engaging in the simplest of communications. One thing that makes the situation worse is that I get my hopes up and expect the world out of each new individual I meet. I refuse to befriend someone who drinks or does drugs because I have witnessed the hurtful and stupid things that can take place while under the influence of them. It seems like every girl cheats these days and if they don't then they can easily be persuaded to when they hang out with guys who try to get them drunk or high. I don't respect guys who take advantage of girls like that either. What do I do, and how do I trust anyone in this world anymore?
Who don't anyone ever help homeless people?
I don't want to sound like I'm bragging. In fact, I am angered so little seems to be done to assist the homeless in our society. In the last six years, the number of homeless American CHILDREN has exploded by more than half a million to more than 2,500,000 American homeless KIDS. Why in the Hell we are importing ANY immigrants is totally beyond my comprehension. Hell, we can't even take care of our OWN kids. One out of FIVE American kids is on food stamps. One out of SIX American kids is living in poverty. IF you want to, you can donate your time, talent, and treasure at your local soup kitchen, or food bank. Until the Government gets serious about homelessness, there isn't a whole lot any individual CAN do. I do what I can---each month. The desperate need is FAR greater than my ability to make much of a difference. But, at least I can shave my face each morning---without blushing in shame for my apathy.
Should I stop helping people?
Hello Dear ~ There's an old adage that says something like 'no good deed goes unpunished.' It sounds like you've been spreading yourself a little thin over there, honey ... but to stop helping people entirely is never a good thing either. Maybe the person above who said that you're helping the wrong people is on to something. You don't want to become hard, or jaded, but you don't want to be a doormat, either, right? It's a delicate balance, but if you feel like they're taking advantage of your goodwill and good nature, then just stop. Tell them you're sorry but you're in line at the movies, or that you're visiting your aunt, or whatever excuse gets you off the hook ... and eventually they'll stop asking. Another thing to consider is whether they ever reciprocate, or compensate you - even if it's just a six pack of your favorite brew or something. If they never show true gratitude, then forget helping them in the future. No need to have a conversation about it - just start saying no, and they'll stop asking. Best of luck to you, honey. Love, Auntie
How do you deal with the people who don't appreciate your help?
Oh my dear, this is a tough one. If you are a kind person, this will be hard for you. Pick who you help wiseeeeeeeeeeeeeely my dear please. You are wasting your energy helping the ungrateful and the unwise. They will bleed you dry and make your life a nightmare and miserable. I was borne kind and I had to learn the hard way to stay away from these people as much as possible. If it is family, you will need to become unavailable. If it is friends, you will need to get new friends because they are not your friends and don’t give a crap about you or anyone else. They are emotional and physical and mental and spiritual vampires. They suck the life out of you. If it is a boss, the tactic is very different. Are you ready? Here is what you do: Learn to say very little. Even in a meeting with others be very circumspect about what you say in the meeting. Usually very smart people have your trait. So use your words carefully. Don’t give away your ideas away easily. Ask for something in return for sharing your great ideas. A boss person will steal your idea and take credit for it. Send an email to the boss and a friend not in the company when you have a good idea with your idea in it and make it like you are just sharing information. Be wise. Don’t fight with your bosses. Just do a lot of uh huh and thank you and have a nice day…..very superficial. Don’t try to be friends with a boss unless he or she is very grateful (a rare find). Most bosses are jerks…..sorry. Don't commiserate with your coworkers by saying mean things about each other or the boss. When the complaining begins and it will, just don't participate. Use one word responses.....like really, no kidding, wow, that's amazing, hard to believe....etc. The other tact to take is that if you really think you are supposed to help someone that is ungrateful and that does happen…..be ready to just suck it up and forget it. They cannot be grateful. It is not in their DNA…..they will never change. Help and then move on. They are not able to reciprocate.
Is anyone else sick of catering to people with kids?
I read your question and I read through the responses and as a mother of two with one on the way I have to say that I AGREE WITH YOU 100%!!! If I'm taking my children to the grocery store that means I can handle them. If, for some reason, I don't think I can juggle the kids and the shopping then I will leave them at home with dad or get a sitter. I never ask for help. In fact, I often put my 6 yr. old to work helping to carry groceries to the car. It is not the store employee's job to help me because I have my kids in the store. I get very annoyed by people who expect preferentional treatement because they have kids. Like you said, it was a choice. But many people, especially women, act like they're supernatural beings because they popped out kids. I find that home school moms are the worst when it comes to this. I KNOW because I home school and I used to spend a lot of time with other home schooling moms. I just wanted to add: why should a cashier at a grocery store care what we've been through all day with our kids? Do you care what she has gone through all day dealing with customers? (I used to work in retail). If you've had a rough day with your kids does that entitle you to special treatment? They're YOUR kids. Learn to handle it and stop bitching. No one should expect special treatment because they have kids or even expect people to understand when they're kids are being brats. Control your kids and stop spreading your misery to everyone else.
Why do you help people even though you know some of them do not deserve it?
(A2A)To be frankly speaking I will say it makes you strong. If you are in a position to help someone you should always take a step to help someone who is in need.If you think or are in a notion that the person doesn’t deserve it my friend you need to sit down for a minute and think. Are you expecting anything in return ?If the answer is ‘yes’ such as even a 'Thank you' then you should rethink.In some cases, while you are helping someone you may find a solution for you own problem which you might be ignoring.sometime it come from within doesn't matter how hard you try not to do it you will always find yourself standing there to help even if there is no one else there.and lastly my friend it’s up to you nobody is forcing you to do itCheers!!!
When you help someone and they don't thank you. How to proceed?
A thanks is a form of payment. If you do something nice for someone without requiring payment, then you can be satisfied with yourself, doing what you want to do, regardless of what compensation you receive. Yes, it is polite to thank someone for a kindness performed, but that should not stop you from doing kindnesses in the future. Every person is different. For one person who did not reward you, there might be another who will reward you handsomely. I have found it satisfying to offer help without expectation of payment or reward. It's very freeing. It also allows me to do things on my whim, for my pleasure. If it's not your pleasure to help in future, then that's ok too.I recently read that saying "thank you" might be culturally frowned upon. For example, for superstitious people who believe in the "Fey" (fairies), saying "thank you" will make you obligated to the person you are thanking. If they are Fey, disguised as mortals, then you have placed yourself in their power. Something I consider now, instead of saying thanks, it does not "obligate" me if I smile in acknowledgement or say "I appreciate that."