Is it hard for you to keep your mouth shut when you know you should?
Not being able to keep my mouth shut is one of the burdens of having ADHD. In fact, it was one of my worst symptoms and led me to a self-diagnosis.I have learned A LOT from my husband who has coached me over the 30+ years of our marriage. Here are some of his teachings:I need to give myself time between what I think and what I say. It is like “taking a pitch” in baseball. I can always add to a conversation later, but I can’t take back something once it is said.Everything that is true does not need to be said. I need to ask myself if what I have to say will be helpful.If my “contribution” will insult another person’s ability to problem-solve for himself/herself, then I should keep my mouth shut. It is not my duty nor my right to save other people from their mistakes. First, it is arrogant for me to think I have such super-powers. Second, it robs other people of their human dignity to solve their own problems in their own chosen way.If it makes me sound like a know-it-all, I should keep my mouth shut.If I make a statement about a topic and no one asks a follow-up question or expresses overt interest in the topic, then they are not interested and I should kept my interesting tidbits to myself. “That’s nice,” is not an expression of interest.Even if I forget what I was going to say, that is still no reason to interrupt and insult another person. I will either remember later or it wasn’t that important in the first place.If I feel myself getting angry, I need to just walk away. The filter between my brain and mouth is not just poor, it is nonexistent when I am mad.“Not being able to keep my mouth shut when I know I should” falls under the ADHD quality of impulsiveness.It has taken me a lifetime, but I have improved in this area.
How would I keep my mouth shut if someone is abusing me in front of me?
Thanks for the A2A!It's beyond doubt hard. It's totally impossible to keep your cool when someone is continuously abusing you.I, for one, am a hot-headed female and so I've been told. I don't stand and take it, when someone is shooting bullets at me. It's beyond my level of patience. Maybe I do, for a few seconds or minutes. Eventually I lose my cool and retort back.You are a self-made individual. No one has the right to abuse you, not even your parents (unless and until it's your fault!)Let's address the issue with strangers. If you're at fault, listen to the mistakes you've done. Stop the person right there if he/she resorts to bad language or hurtful comments. Make sure you remind him that he has no right to. Apologize for the mistake you've done, but also take no shit!The worst you could do however is to walk away. No. That doesn't put you in a superior position. It only shows that you'd rather wallow in self-pity than handle the situation in a dignified manner.Hope this helps!:)
My Fiance can't keep his mouth shut and I don't know what to do about it?
He has had two chances and that is more than enough. Give him back his ring and dump him NOW! Your fiance didn't trust you and he betrayed your trust in a terrible way by disclosing something you said to him privately. And he did it with your best friend. If he thought you were keeping a secret from him, he should have discussed it directly with you and not made mischief about something that wasn't even important. And then after promising not to do it again, he did it with your mother (he has no right to be angry with you over some man you may have slept with BEFORE you started dating him and that is just a red herring on his part to deflect his breach of trust). I am sorry but you can't trust him and you never will be able to do so either as he is incapable of keeping his word. My guess is that he is secretly angry with you and he is trying to punish you by disclosing your secrets to the people who most matter to you. He may even be a secret controller who is trying to estrange your family and friends so you will only have him. But it doesn't matter what his reasons are. He broke your trust, promised not to do it again, but he did. Additionally, when contronted with his bad behavior, instead of being being an adult, repentant and apologizing, he "cries" and tries to blame you for his own misdeeds. You have a spoiled, petulent little boy on your hands and you don't deserve that! All of this is more than enough. Time to kick him to the curb and send him back to his mommy. By the way, don't discuss it, instead TELL him! Invite him over and in the presence of your parents (or some other trusted witnesses) give him back his ring, tell him that you no longer trust him and you don't want any further contact from him at all. ever. And make it very clear to him that if he decides to seek out revenge by badmouthing you all over the place, or worse, that you will sue him in court for harassment and get a restraining order. And then do so! Take care!
Is there a quick way to get a person to stop snoring without disturbing their sleep, such as holding their nose for a few seconds, shifting their body position, tilting their head back, etc.?
What is snoring?Snoring is simply noisy breathing caused by the vibration of the respiratory structures due to nasal obstruction during sleep. Snoring can be soft or loud, intermittent or consistent but one known fact is that it’ impairs sleep. It reduces the quality of sleep to the snorer therefore causing daytime tiredness and sleepiness which reduces the functionality of that person and it also disturbs other friends of relatives around.CausesThe vibration of the respiratory structures that results to snoring is chiefly caused by obstructed nasal airway, bulky throat tissue or poor muscle tone. These main causes are influenced by a number of factors which include: alcohol intake in the evening which could relax the throat muscles, obesity, bad sleeping position, aging and any health condition that in any way affect the texture shape or size of any of the respiratory organs, muscles or tissues.RemediesWhile some snoring causing factors like aging cannot be controlled, a host of others can actually be controlled by; losing weight, changing sleeping position, Medications, pillar procedure or surgery. A more direct measure could be the use of dental appliances, continuous positive airway pressure machines, dental appliance, and orthopedic pillows or anti snoring devices. You can always choose from a list of the best anti-snoring devices.Quick RemediesAmong the remedies given, the remedies that work instantly differ from person to person but could include , dental appliance, and orthopedic pillows or anti snoring devices.
My oscar fish won't close his mouth,. What do I do?
Is the Oscar with another Oscar or any other cichlids? Has it been lip locking at all? If it has been lip locking it is possible that it has a dislocated jaw. This has also been known to happen to Oscars that aggressively attack the glass, to the point that they dislocate the jaw. It is important to try to pop the jaw back into place as soon as you notice it. The longer it stays that way, the less likely you will be able to do it. I have never had this problem myself, but recently talked to some other experienced fish keepers about it. The way I heard it done was the fish was submerged in a net as the jaw was carefully massaged and eased back and forth, ultimately into its natural position. It took some time, and patience, but well worth it. I hope this helps, give it a try. sometimes the fish can naturally put it back into place itself, usually when yawning, but if yours has been like this for a while, it probably can't and you need to do it yourself. In the wild if this happens from lip locking, the fish with the dislocated jaw will end up dieing from starvation. If you cannot fix the problem, try talking to a experienced fish store and see if they have any experience with this, if so see if they would be willing to try fixing your fish for you. Other than that you would have to euthanize the fish to save it from a slow death. MFK
"a closed mouth gathers no feet" how can i understand it?
You know how when some body say something they should not have they say now they have their foot in their mouth. Well this is saying that if you keep your mouth shut you won't have to worry about that - saying something and being wrong
How do I stay calm, keep my mouth shut, in the heat of the moment? I can’t control my temper or my mouth. What quick thinking tools can someone offer me in these situations?
Simplistic as it sounds, if you can look away—move your focus to anything outside the immediate space—and count silently to ten or, better, recite a mantra (try, “first do no harm”), that will give your brain a chance to refocus and your immediate rush of adrenaline time to dissipate. Practice that even in casual, non-confrontational moments until it is habit. Your friends may comment that you are uncharacteristically quiet. Just smile and tell them you're fine.Men tend to have a harder time with this simply because they have three times the amount of testosterone as the average female, and that's what triggers the rest of the androgens to flood in at warp speed with fight-or-flight as the prime directive.Nature has supplied us with survival skills that we sometimes have to override. We can do that with effort and conscious thought. The visual distraction is important in breaking this particular chain reaction. We employ all of our senses all the time even though we're unaware of them for much of that time. Moving away, turning your head, refocusing your eyes, and taking a moment will all work together to reframe the situation.Once you have learned to disengage, the next step is to figure out why you take things so personally that such a rapid response is triggered. For that I recommend counseling, but at least spend some alone time pondering that question. Ask the question in any given conflict Whose problem is this? Who owns it and who owns the outcome? Much if the time the answer won't be Me! Then consider Will the outcome of this episode have any meaning to me five years from now? The answer is usually No.Finally, ask Is this who I am and who I want to be? That answer is all yours.
What does this quote mean "It is better to be thought a fool than to open ones mouth and remove all doubt"?
"It is better to be thought a fool than to open ones mouth and remove all doubt" - Confucius I'm trying to decipher the meaning of this quote, but I'm having a hard time with this one. Does anyone know what it might mean?