Emotionally Abusive Brother-in-law

How to deal with Demanding/Emotionally Abusive Sister In Law?

I'm visiting my brother, sister-in-law and 3 neices (all under 5) for a couple of weeks. The problem is my siter-in-law is extremely high maintenance. She hs always been like this - I know as I used to live with them a couple of years ago. If everything does not go EXACTLY her way she has tantrums. She has extremely low tolerance for stress so therefore she is constantly yelling at her kids for just being normal kids - eg being a little noise / messy / asking questions (which is what all normal small kids do) If everything in her house is not perfect clean and tidy she also has a coronary!

She also is constantly going off at her husband (my brother) cause he "doesn't help enough" when in reality he does everything - cooksl works full-time, listens to her constant whinging etc.

What upsets me the most is the way she talks to my 5 and 3 year old neices. I won't go into detail but the worst is that she doesn't even say goodbye to them when they go to daycare/prep school or say goodnight to them. (PS Yes they are in daycare/shchool including the 18 month old baby 0- She also receives full support from her family.)

She also will whinge to me about my brother / how hard her life is etc etc

How do I deal with this? Shoudl I say something to her? Or just put up with it?

It may seem like I'm also whinging but I've gotten to the end of my tether with her childish, destructive behaviour.


How do I stop emotional abuse by brother-in-law at family gatherings? He tries to humiliate me and succeeds.?

After way too many years of disrespectful and rude behavior by my brother in law, I finally confronted him two Christmases ago. Ever since he has tried to humiliate me in front of family members. I tried to speak with him about the fact that I have started reacting to his rude, disrespectful behavior (shutting me up at the table, etc.; mocking me, humiliating me). I said to him that we should talk about our anger at each other and that feeling angry is one thing, but acting on it is another. I stated that I don't act out to him but that I have been and will call him on his rudeness when it occurs. He is a very intellectually bright engineer, but is behaving very immaturely. I asked him if we could treat each other the way we want to be treated. He misinterprets everything I say and assumes I am insulting him when I'm not. Then he humiliates me by mocking me, humiliating me and laughing. No one ever laughs but him because it's not funny--it's emotionally abusive. Thanks.

My brother is in an abusive, controlling relationship. Is there any way I can help him, or should I get involved?

I believe that being in an abusive relationship is one of those times when it has to be a personal choice to get out of it. Almost like people who recover from addiction; the first step is admitting you have a problem. Unfortunately shame and embarrassment are emotions that come with being a victim, making the first steps in getting out difficult. Talk to your brother about how you feel about the way this girl is treating him and that it is not okay. Being in an abusive relationship can be isolating and lower self-esteem, knowing someone cares is a tremendous help in the moments a victim feels alone. However, as a sister myself, if a woman was treating my brother like crap, I would definitely have a good, woman-woman chat with her.

My brother is abusive to his wife, how to deal?

- I know he is abusive because he was physically and emotionally abusive to me growing up and I've heard the way he talks to her, I've seen the bruises.

- My parents are no help.

- I've encouraged her to get away as I left my ex husband who tried to become abusive.

- I have left her to do what she will with the relationship, I've told her to get away.

- Besides her situation that I wish she were out of - I hate my brother for what he is doing - She seems to no longer be my friend since we've begun working in the same office, she seems to put me in the same "crazy" group that he is in and my mother simply because she doesn't approve of my work style.

I feel like she is taking her situation out on me and I've been depressed for weeks.

My brother is in an abusive relationship with someone who has a bipolar disorder. How can I help him?

I was in an abusive relationship for more than half my life (20+ years).First of all I want to say, based on my own experience that the people who find themselves in such a relationship have a few things going on. Low self worth/self esteem and codependency issues. Denial is another one.Sadly, in my case things had to get to the point that I couldn't stand it anymore - which as human beings seems to be how things work. I would rationalize the good vs the bad and convince myself to be grateful for what I had. Abusive people aren't all bad and do have some endearing qualities, that's what keeps people stuck in the cycle. The hope that things will change and the desire to help and take care of others -thinking that by loving them enough will make them change their ways also adds to this dynamic.There is nothing that anyone said to me during the years that would have caused me to walk away. In fact the more people brought it to my attention the more stubborn I was in showing them how wrong they were. Denial is a powerful thing. Keep in mind I was not in a physically abusive relationship.Eventually I had enough and I realized I couldn't continue to live the way I was. For my own mental and physical health.

Help confronting a (potentially) emotionally abusive wife?

I admit that im not perfect and I have been stubborn and bullheaded. My wife criticises me over little things and all things, and when I offer her a middle ground for a peaceful argument it has to be her way or the highway (ive learned to peacefully compromise). She ignores me or has no affection for me until I give way (consistently). When I disagree with her respectfully with her she gets mad because I didnt do it her way...I just found a ton of information that that may be emotional bullying and or abuse. I am afraid of her chopping my head off and turning the tables to angirly criticise me. I am mature enough not to "man up" qnd "show her who is boss" because I like and want an equal relationship. Any wisdom? Thank you for mature wise answers in advance.

Sister-in-law verbally / mentally abusive to my older brother? (she's also a hoarder)?

According to me I maybe 1 of these things
any girl won't do things like this UNLESS she has been hurt.. especially after 3 years of marriage and having a little baby, they are supposed to be very happy now so,
maybe your brother made some mistake (Like something HUGE.. possibly like cheating on her, or anything that made her lose her trust in him cause small things won't make a girl behave like this) And this is kind of proved cause your brother is not talking or fighting back.(submissive due to GUILT?)

or she had some past bad experience that was triggered by your brother that makes her behave like this
in that case your brother is behaving submissive for the baby.

So u should talk to your brother first, and i don't think its a good idea to talk to both of them together cause, it might make the problem worse, but u can talk and try to help through your brother
and do understand Trust once lost is very very difficult to regain.

What can I do to help my brother in law who is being abused by my sister?

What can I do to help my brother in law who is being abused by my sister?You should attempt to have a private discussion with your brother in law. Make dang sure your sister doesn't find out about it or there will be hell to pay. Regardless, he needs someone that can see this situation for what it is and you do. I'd be direct with him and and say to him that this situation that hes in is not going to fix itself and very likely to get much worse than it is now and he must do something about it before your sister begins her abuse on their child. And she will. The thing Thats scary to me here is if she starts her abuse on their child its unlikely that he will be able to speak up about it. If hes willing to challenge her about her abuse he needs to begin gathering some evidence so hes believable. He needs to secretly record her. He needs to arm himself with evidence and report her and he needs to do it with a bang so this doesn't backfire on him where he ends up unwilling to do anything about because he feels hopeless on getting help. Does your sister possibly have post partum depression? Meanwhile you should start being a doting aunt to their child and watch for any signs of physical abuse. I wish you the best.

How do I help my brother in law's girlfriend get out of an abusive relationship?

Thanks for the A2AThis one is difficult, unless she been even a little open to you? Even if she hasn’t I feel you need to tell her what you have observed without taking away from her or putting your brother in law down either.Always speak positively about them both but say you have observed the marks hateful comments etc and if she wants to talk to you about it you are there for her.If she opens up then (or ever), listen more than advise, Ask if you can do anything to help etc.If she stays closed to you or shuts down more you have to keep your mouth shut to her or anyone who might judge them. If you have faith pray for them if you do any healing or loving protective practises then see them in blue/white/violet light or whatever. Keep picturing her as safe and see him kind, loving and looking after her well.It is very hard to watch another destroy themself. Even though it is seemingly beyond her control you know you can help her get out of there. Until she feelsOne thing that I needed to know was I had to put myself first in this situation even before the children. You cannot help them stay safe if you are not. Its like putting your oxygen mask on first in a plane before you help them.Much love andmany blessings to all.