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For A Black Tie Optional Wedding Would It Be Okay On The Rsvp Card To Write

When you write formal attire in a wedding invitation where does it exactly go?

Well this is how I did ours...

Main Invite
Mr & Mrs... request the presence of ...... to celebrate the marriage of ........... on ...(Date)... at ...(Time)... ...(Address)... and afterwards at ...(Address)...

The Wedding of .............. & ..............
... Pleased to accept
... Regretfully decline
... Vegitarian meal required
Names ...........................................
Please send by ...(Date)... to Mrs ........, ...(Address)...

Extra/Info Card
Dress: Formal
Gifts: For gift suggestions please contact Mrs ...... on ...(Phone number)...
And I had a rough map of where the ceremony and reception were (since they were in different areas)

Hope this helps give you some ideas!

Is it okay to put black tie affair on the wedding invitations?

Dear Jme, I hope you don't mind my offering my opinion, although I am not as knowledgeable as the rest of these girls here. My daddy has gotten a lot of invitations that say "black tie affair" and he always wears his tuxedo to these parties. I do believe, however, that some of the gentlemen wear dark suits, or if they did not wear tuxedos, I personally never noticed. The girls usually wear black dresses, and some have a little color in their outfit, but mostly they wear black too. Some of the men have different colored cumberbuns (those belts they wear with tuxedos) and some wear different colored ties. I think it is fine to say "black tie affair" and you might want to add a PS: suits or tuxedos for the men. I hope this helps you with your decision. Sincerely, Sunny girl.

Not sure we want to put Black Tie Optional on wedding invitation but..?

Emily Posts rules are so old school, especially if you do not have a reception card! We put black tie optional on ours and I have seen it on all of my cousins invites. It is definitely the best way to get across that you want it formal.

This dress allows those who wish to go all out and dress in black tie to do so, but provides leeway for those who wish to dress a little less formally. This option means that men who don't own or want to rent a tuxedo need not feel compelled to do so. Men can opt to wear a dark suit instead of a tuxedo, but a black, dark navy, or dark grey suit would be the best choice. Men should dress as formally as they can, short of actually wearing a tuxedo. Women can dress as formally as black tie, but can also get away with a shorter, cocktail style dress. (taken from

Where do you indicate dress code on RSVP card?

The formality of the wedding is indicated by the design of the invitation itself and the wording itself. Time of day usually plays a part as well.

If you like just slip it into the wording of the invite...something like:

So and so cordially invite you to join in their joy and X and X are married at blah de blah with a formal reception to follow at X at the X (location).

Go to for examples of invites for more casual affairs.

If by "dress code" you mean a costume like telling your guests they all have to wear purple then that's not even considered acceptable in the first place.

I can't attend a huge wedding & reception tonight in which I RSVP'd yes weeks ago. Etiquette help needed!?

The thing with the situation is you already said yes to your cousin. Going to be a little tricky. Depending on your relationship (and I am assuming a really good one because you reserved asap etc), this will hurt her feelings. Be prepared for her to be sad or upset. I am unsure of her personality or how she re-acts, but she could be understand and cool with it. Or she could feel hurt. Things come up and occur in life and although it isn't an ideal situation, sometimes you have to do what you have to do and hope for the best result. That is something to call her up (if you can't do this in person. Please don't text or email) and tell her you are in a conflict, that you have to make a decision to attend with your husband to his sister's wedding that unfortuntily, is taken place on the same weekend. That you feel there isn't a way to attend both and it could cause a problem if you attended one and he attended the other. (People have done this and worked out great, but it is understandable if you both wish for this to not happen). Just a little option I suppose if you two are okay with it. In the same time, you can offer a "pre wedding" special day for the cousin where you can take her out for a girls day? Still be involved in the planning to let her know you stll feel it is special day in your heart, even if you can't attend? or send a lovely gift letting her know you wish her the best years of her life to come. I can't say what is right or wrong, what you should or shouldn't do. But the suggestions of doing something special for the cousin due to the situation at hand could be a good option.

Wedding invitations?

Well, some of this information is VERY conflicting:
A formal event would not have guest BYOB; the "formal attire" would be fine but "liquor permitted" implies that guest must provide their own alcohol. Also, if it is a formal affair people should not be responding via phone or email but with an included pre-stamped envelope/reply card.

I say:
"Formal Attire Requested" is okay to put at the bottom of the invitations. ("Required" is a bit strong. "Requested is more friendly) IF IT IS A FORMAL AFFAIR; (IE bringing your own booze is NOT formal).

Clear up the meaning of "Liquor...permitted..."

RSVP information on a separate card.

I'm not even going to touch your #1 listed include this information. No mention of gifts should be in any part of a wedding invitation. It's rude, tacky, and offensive to your guests. If I received this, I'd promptly get you a gift card to a pet store (provided you DIDN'T have pets) or a Salvation Army type store, so at least my money was going to somebody that appreciates it.

When an invitation says "black tie," does that necessarily demand a tuxedo must be worn (by men) and a gown (by women)?

The tuxedo is indeed mandatory, but it looks like women have a bit more leeway. I found this description on the Advanced Etiquette web site:Black TieFor men, black-tie denotes a single or double-breasted dinner jacket with a black silk bow tie (properly referred to as a dinner jacket, but commonly called "tuxedo" or "tux.").For women, an invitation to a black tie event means wearing a long, floor length evening dresses or evening separates. A short cocktail dress may be appropriate for some cocktail receptions, summer events, or daytime functions.At international affairs, men and women are often invited to wear traditional formal attire from their country.Military personnel wear an equivalent uniform.Link to full article here:

What should I know before I go to my first American wedding?

Your wedding gift should be some modest amount more than the cost for them to host you (and guest) for the meal.Logistically, it is better to gift a physical item early, by shipment. The new couple does not need to figure out how to transport gift boxes to somebody’s house for safe-keeping until they return from the Honeymoon. A cash gift can be given at the reception. Unfortunately, wedding cards rarely fit in jacket pockets or dress-up pocketbooks. Follow the clues from other guests.Regional practices vary, as do the budgets of the couple and family. Some regions of the US will have coffee and cake in the church fellowship hall. Others will have sit-down galas with live music in fancy venues.Respond to the RSVP with your real intention as early as possible. If you are bringing a guest, indicate that on the RSVP. If it does not seem that they extended an invitation for you to bring a guest, shrug it off. They want you there, but are working with a budget.Your best bet may be to interact with other colleagues attending, for clues as to what to expect.Women should avoid white dresses, so as to not seem to upstage the bride.Men should usually arrive in a suit with tie, unless other attire is specifically mentioned. Remember, professional photographs will probably be taken and preserved for half a century or longer, including a shot of that table of friends from work.Try to attend the ceremony, too, unless travel makes this difficult. Follow instructions from the ushers. Do your part to balance the room. Don’t worry much about the tradition of the groom’s side on right, bride’s side on the left of the center aisle.Front pews are for family. Respect instructions regarding photographs during the ceremony.People exit the ceremony front to back. Allow those in the rows ahead of you to walk out first.The reception may be preceded by a cocktail hour. Eat something then.The reception proper begins with entry of the parents, the bridal party and one or more toasts. Wait to drink from the glass found at your table until the toast(s) are given.

Can I wear a black floor-length dress to a "black-tie formal" wedding? what other colours / length can I wear?

According to this definition I found "Black Tie means formal. Men wear tuxedos, women wear cocktail, long dresses or dressy evening separates."
today fashion has opened sooo many doors, that there are limitless options to colors, lengths and styles. I think for warmer weathers light colors are appropriate. Gold is a big thing at the moment. What about pastel green...
length also is no problem, as long as its not too short. Knee length is perfectly fine, and there are some gorgeous knee length style dresses that widen up at the bottom.
just dont wear white and puffy, you might be mistaken as the bride!

don't forget that your body shape and age is a large factor to what styles and colors best suit you. if you are bit larger, stick to simple elegant and black, if you're very petite try simple with bold colors or if you like attention just go crazy....