Living together before marriage...good idea?
Well, it depends on you. But for the most part, I would say it is a good idea. For a person who think that marriage has some esoteric meaning that transcend that of a legal and social contract, then, maybe things will change once you get married. For a couple like my wife and I, we got married to make the in-laws happy, and because there are some perks when it comes to finances. But in general, living together before marriage and after marriage changed only the fact that we didn't need to fill up so much paperwork for everything. Besides, I am a firm proponent of trying early and often everything. I have met couples whose sex life was great before they had to see each other every day when they woke up, and went to the toilet as soon as they moved in together. I know people who got along perfectly when they each had their own place, but were at each other's throat once they lived together. Living with yourself is already hard, living with someone else is a lot harder. Believe me, even if you two have a very good opinion of each other, if there are irreconcilable difference either sexually or in the day to day living together, staying together will just make you both miserable. It's better to make sure you are a good match early on!
Is moving in together after getting engaged a good or bad idea?
I took a sociology class a couple years ago, in my undergraduate days, and someone asked our professor the very same question. His response was that it depends on how you act. Couples who move in together when they are engaged, have a wedding date set, and behave like a married couple (sharing finances, dividing housework equitably, making decisions with the other person) experience no detriment by living together. They do not have an increased risk of divorce or other problems compared to the general population. Couples who move in together and act like roommates (no engagement or an "endless" engagement with no wedding date, who do not share finances or make joint decisions) are more likely to break up. If they do end up getting married, they are more likely to divorce compared to the general population. He said that this was based on a cohabitation study done several years ago, but unfortunately I don't have the citation. I bet you could look it up though.
Living together before marriage...a good or bad idea?
I just want to know your opinion on the idea. I personally think it's a good idea, I think cohabitation can teach you a lot of things you wouldn't have known about the person had you not lived with them. I've been living with my bf for 4 months now, and it's been going great, and we're planning on getting married in 2 years, after I'm out of nursing school, but what do you think about it?? This is more geared to the people who have (or haven't)_done it. If you didn't live with your sig. other before marriage, did you wish you had? (btw, if you're just going to preach to me about how it's wrong to have sex before marriage, I don't want to hear it) Thanks!!
How should our finances be before moving in together?
You need to find out about your boyfriend's financial maturity and frame of mind, assuming you are actually considering him for marriage. Talk to him about your financial situation and your outlook on (financial) life, what you think about savings and retirement and priorities.You will very quickly (based on his responses) find out if you balance each other out on a financial level (not numbers, but approach to finances).If his outlook is completely different from yours, this is a huge warning flag, and it might be a good idea to call it quits. You might think it's just finances and you'll be able to just side-step and ignore that topic, but that won't happen and could wreck your second marriage.Do not keep your finances secret from each other and do not think any related issues will take care of themselves. They will not.Plus, if you ignore any potential issues and he might have hidden debt, you will own that debt when you get married, whether you like it or not and anyone going after him for collection can then also go after you.
If you were dating someone and moved in together and he/she broke up with you & you all were still living together until the lease is up, how would you handle the situation? What would you do to make it easier for you to move on?
You want to know how to move on without moving out?You can’t be serious. MOVE OUT!
Is moving in with a boyfriend a good idea?
It is for some people, and not for others… and that’s the extent of “helpful” anyone here can give you as a straight answer to your question.That said… if you’re going to move in with someone, you need to be a grown-up, not a kid. It’s boring and a pain in the ass, but there are responsibilities to a living-together situation. There are also expectations that you both may or may not share.So: Why do you want to move in together? Why does he want to move in together? Have you talked about it, completely and honestly?Are you on birth control? Knowing that birth control isn’t foolproof, have you both agreed what’s going to happen if you get pregnant?How are you going to handle finances? Is there your money, my money, our money? Or some combination? How do expenses get split? How do you save, both for an emergency fund, and for retirement?How does the housework get split? Who cooks, does the dishes, sweeps, dusts, and mops? Who does the yardwork? Household repairs?Are both your parents supportive of your relationship? Of you moving out, and moving in together? What happens on holidays (Christmas, Thanksgiving in the US, other dates in other countries)?Do you both want to have kids, or not have kids?How often do you and he expect sex? Are you exclusive, or in some kind of open relationship?What do you do together when you’ve got hours a day to fill, instead of hours a week? Especially, how do you fill those hours without getting on each others nerves, either through too much togetherness or attention, or too little, for one of you?How OK are each of you with the other spending time with friends and not the partner?Is this a trial marriage? If things go well, do both of you expect that you’re going to get married, or is living together “enough”?And, this is very important: how will you untangle things if you decide that you don’t want to live together six or sixty months from now? What happens to the lease? What if you have kids? What about that car (or beeeeeeg screen TV, or fantastic painting) you bought together? What about the dog?Query “things to think about before moving in together” and you’ll find lists. The above are just my quick thoughts, based on living with several women over the course of my life.I wish you luck, and fun, and bestow upon you all the blessings I have to give. Live life!
Should people live together before getting married?
Short answer (IMHO) - No. Living together and marriage are two completely different things. Marriage is making a commitment to a person for the rest of your life. You're saying, in a sense, "I want you to be in my life, for the rest of my life." Staying married is about keeping your promise. Things may change in your life, which makes your marriage "less than great". What to do? Bail or stay and fix your marriage? Lots of people choose to bail out. Tragic. Part of staying married is remembering the tough times and how you both got through it. You changed. You compromised on minor stuff. You stood your ground on the really important stuff. You decide "I'm not leaving you".Living together is just the opposite. Your saying to this month's (or year's) special someone "I'd like to pretend we're married, but if it gets the least bit icky, I'm down the road. Okay?" And the other person says yes to that. So your relationship isn't based on commitment but the lack thereof.For the guy, he gets sex a lot more than before. For the gal, who's looking for security, she get's a shallow imposter.Just so you'll know: I have been married for 34 years to my high school sweetheart.
Is it a good idea to go to couples counseling before moving in together?
I started living with my husband as friends. We were both lonely and enjoyed each other's company. When I got my own place he asked me to stay with him again. When I refused he came over to my place often. It was like we still lived together. We fought for independence but we couldn't stay away from one another. Eventually we realized we didn't have the basic tools to maintain a relationship. Neither him or I had any fulfilling long term adult relationships in our past to clue us in on what to do next but we wanted it to work. We knew what we could have would be worth it. So we admitted we didn't know sh___.I went to therapy before, after, and during our relationship. We took classes on being better daters, partners, and spouses before we became a real couple. We’ve been going to group sex therapy and a sex therapist since we first became intimate. Twice a month we go on retreats as part of a group or just as a couple.If you need couples therapy you may also need individual therapy. Your issues were there before you became a couple. You need to get a handle on your problems first. Don't think couples therapy will make living together easier. It'll most likely reveal things you may not like or hate about one another. You actually have to put in the work to love each other because of your differences, not despite of them.ReadingCouples Therapy: The Four Questions | Psychology Today Couples Therapy: The Four Questions
In India, should people live together before getting married?
Life is short and Indian cultural believes are so many. so first it’s hard to find girl who is ready to live without marriage and then it’s hard to convince people about your relation.India have huge number of leftover boys and girls who finally start searching partner through matrimonial. and there is no change to live after finding partner from there.so in case if you go with living relationship and if you do sex with girl and later leave her after some time. than girl will feel she lost her whole world.same way if you as Indian boy spend lots of money on girl while living with her and after enjoying your money once she left you than you will feel insulted too.