How do I come out to a homophobic family?
Tough one...really tough one...I had to google "homosexual support groups" I'd recommend www.gaycenter.org OR since your parents are Catholic you could also visit: http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_ro... http://ministry.udayton.edu/diverse/bgla... http://www.colorado.edu/journals/standar... (<--REALLY GOOD STORY/SUPPORT GROUP TO FIND) Well, I grew up Catholic but to understanding parents. What your parents and family should come to realize and accept is that homosexuality has been a part of human history even in Biblical/Ancient times. Greek warriors united as brothers in arms...and I'm not talking weaponry here. In fact, they did not marry women until after they finished their services to the country if they DID marry at all. Research homosexuality or bisexuality in principles and history a bit more before going up against the family. Telling your family that you think you are gay or bisexual may cause several things to happen all at once, and since you know your family the best, you may be able to come up with a shorter list than I of the possible reactions. SO...if you think that they will react with violence and anger, with shouting and arguing heatedly, I'd call a priest and tell him what's going on OR call the cops and ask if they would mediate OR ask if a few of your supportive friends would stay with you while you break the news. If you think that they are simply going to disown you and regard you as the black sheep of the family, then I'd prepare psychologically for this. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. If I were you, I'd join Cornerstone, a support group for people that are Catholic and gay/lesbian/bisexual...might really help you better than I can.
Why accepting transgender people isn't enough?
It's very simple. Despite what anyone tries to tell you, you can date whoever you want to date and you can reject whoever you don't want to date. My parents own a restaurant, we have hired a transgender person because she had the qualifications we were looking for. Real transphobia would be not to hire her because she is transgender, for example. Dating is something completely different, not wanting to date someone who once had the same body with you isn't transphobia. Some people have trouble understanding what being straight means. I wouldn't ever date a transgender person either. I am married to a cisgender man and we are expecting our first child, it wouldn't be possible if my husband wasn't cisgender. And the argument that some cisgender people can't have children either is very weak in my opinion because the idiots who use it assume that you will end up with an infertile person, which is not the case for most people. Infertile cisgender people are a minority, infertile transgender people are 100% of the transgender population (of those who have transitioned fully). It seems that those who use that argument are lying to themselves because they know how statistics work. And on top of that, there are many cases of people who were told that they wouldn't be able to have children but they did after years of trying. At the end of the day not being able to get pregnant because of a problem with your reproductive system isn't the same with not being able to get pregnant because you were never meant to. As for that girl you were dating, I think she was very dishonest for telling you after you started dating so dishonesty on its own is a good reason to break up with someone. It's not your fault if she tried to pretend she is a cisgender female. Accusing someone of transphobia in this case is a pathetic attempt to demonize them just because you can't accept their sexual preferences. Unfortunately some transgender people think they are the only ones who have rights. Accepting people without judging them is enough, anything else is an attempt from them to shove their transgenderism down your throat. Don't let them do that. This kind of behavior is basically the same thing with those who claim that gay people have a choice. No one's sexuality is a choice, including those who are cisgender and straight. So dating a transgender person who once had the same genitalia with them is NOT an option.