Should you help your friends?
People will value you based on how much you value yourself.Being nice to people is good. Helping and co operating with others forms the core of our social structure. We as species have evolved and progressed so much because of our ability to work in groups. However, survival in the tough social environment made by humans is an individual affair. Living in cities, we don't have to fear about getting eaten by a tiger, but the competition among members of society for resources has to be handled by individuals only. You will have to compete. for food. for money. for companionship.When you are sacrificing your good for others, you are sending out a signal that you are less important than others in the society. You dont consider yourself to be important enough even for yourself. When you are sending the signals that you are not capable enough or important enough, the society will start to see you that particular way and thus will be less willing to spend its resources on you. Its a negative feed back loop thus. You give up your claim of scant resources first, and if you again claim up after sometimes, you will be pushed back out of the line. People will call you selfish. double standard.The solution you ask? Place yourself first. You are the priority.This sounds like being selfish. But it is really not. You are only claiming on what should be rightfully yours. Believe in yourself. Believe that you are also special and deserving. This is the self confidence the whole world talks about. Selffishness is getting everything for yourself. The right thing is equal distribution of resources. You do it for other. Give yourself the same importance here. Also, do not expect anything good to come out of doing good for others. When you do good, do it for yourself. Because it makes you feel good. Doing good for fame or recognition generates expectations which only leads to hurt. One good way to get good returns on good deeds is by doing good things to many people. Invest in a large number of people rather than a small group of close friends. Expand your circle. There are many good people out there who are happy to help. But you have to find them and than invest in them. The only way to this is by going out and meeting new people, and taking risk of helping them. There are only two things that can happen. Either they will reject you and betray you. Or you will get life long friends. No gains without pain you see.phhhh long answer! Hope this helps!
Do you always help your friend?
Yes, anytime.Not I only but we both help each other.We are friends since 12 years. From school days. We always go together to school .On collage days her collage had different my was different still I drop her ppick her form collage bcs she didn't has scooter.this same I did 5 yeara for her she started job her office was 7km away from her hone I drop her and pick her daily.Even right now we both married she married before 4 years for her new house arrangements and she only have some basic things in new house I gift her on birthday and anniversary household things. So now she have all things .Before 11 months ago I got married so now same things she doing for me she helping me to arranged my house.We both daily talk and both motivate and give productivity to each othe this is most beautiful help for our.
Can I force a friend to get help if they don't want it?
Are your friend’s parents and any older siblings of his aware how ill he is? You and the other friends could stage an intervention of sorts, and tell the guy that you’re all going in a group to his house and talk with his family about your concerns. On the other hand, it might be wiser not to let him know, and just show up.His complaining is a scream for help. His illness(es) are keeping him from accepting that help.Friends started ‘letting me go’ when I was in the 8th grade. I didn’t blame them, as I had slipped a few gears and was not navigating junior high well AT ALL. I begged my parents for medical/mental health and was turned down flat and told that I hadn’t “earned” that kind of caring.I got a job, part-time, because I had to finish high school or be turned out of the house, so I did both (school & work) because it kept me away from home most of the time. When I was there, I stayed in my room and read.Do any of you know what this guy’s home life is like? Does he have any older siblings who might be able to help? Kindly aunts or uncles or grandparents?Is he also failing in school? Is his home life hellish? How much DO you all know about him? Could you ask a school guidance counselor (if any) to look into his situation, maybe by calling him into that office to discuss his grades?Any one of these suggestions could blow up in your faces, so think hard and be sensible. You all likely know more about him than anyone else, including his family members. You could lose a friend by saving his life. Are you ready?
My friend is 15 (almost 16) and pregnant, help?
It's absolutely wonderful that you are so supportive of your best friend. You should do as much as possible to help her out, but make sure it's not at the expense of your own life. This is HER child and HER decision to keep it, and she needs to take responsiblity for her actions and decisions. She really does need to tell her parents. Sooner rather than later. The longer she puts it off, the more likely it will be that the parents get upset. She should be due in November/December (right?) which means she will be very obviously pregnant when school starts in the fall. If she manages not to have her parents find out by then, the school will have to report her condition at some point I bet. Especially when she will have to be out of school for an extended period of time when the baby is born. She won't be able to emancipate herself without showing cause (example - extreme neglect or abuse on the part of her parents), which I'm assuming is the case, so she needs to be open and honest with them. If she just moves out, her parents can go after her boyfriend for either kidnapping or statutory (depending on the state laws). Also, both of them having a job is wonderful (responsible) but having a baby is extremely expensive. Part-time jobs or even most full-time jobs that an 18-year old is able to hold will not cut it. The biggest issue is that I'm assuming that her health insurance is through her parents. Doctors visits and tests are all expensive, but necessary. Her parents would see the insurance submissions and then ask why she's seeing the doctor so much. The baby would then have to be covered under their policy, and that can't be done without their co-operation. Your friend can go to the OBGYN without her parents consent. Even if a girl is under the age of 18, the OBGYN is obligated to maintain confidentiality, even to the minor's parents unless the minor gives permission for the doctor to discuss her condition with them. She can also get the pre-natal vitimins. Sometimes the doctor will have samples or resources for free vitamins as well.
My friend's dad has just recently died. What can I do to help and support her?
Thank you for being such a great friend. The best thing you can do is to let you know you care about her and want to be there for her. Let her know that it's ok for her to grieve. Resist the urge to tell her you understand unless you have also been throigh exactly the same thing. It's hard to see a friend hurting but try to resist the urge to change her feelings. Often when people say or do things to cheer someone up they are really trying to make themselves feel more comfortable. It's actually better to let her know that you don't know what to say or do but that you want to be a good friend to her and to ask her what would be helpful. You might suggest you are happy to listen to her talk about or if she prefers not to talk about it and just do normal friend stuff. Leave it up to her . I’m a former hospice chaplain and my mentor used to say to me “"don't do anything, just be there.”
Will helping my crush can put me in a 'friend zone'?
There's two big things that people who put themselves in the "friend zone" do.They don't ask out the person they like.They assume the person they like doesn't like them, so they attempt to change this by doing "nice" things, which the person proceeds to take advantage of.Don't tell her you like her. Ask her on a date. Get rejected. And to be clear - you will almost definitely get rejected. She has a boyfriend. She's not available. Even if she does like you, is it enough to end what she currently has? Probably not. Regardless, you should probably ask her out just so you can go through this.Will helping her affect things? You shouldn't be thinking this way. If you're up for helping her, help her for its own sake. Do you think she's taking advantage of your feelings? Then don't help her. Would you be helping her to gain her affection? Then don't help her. Help her with no strings attached, or don't help her. Just generally, stop thinking in terms of how to manipulate her and start thinking in terms of being authentic, both to her and to yourself.Thanks for the a2a.
How can I help my friend regain his emotions?
I went through a period of about a year where I could not feel anything emotionally speaking. I was 17 and just moved out of an abusive home environment. I had a stressful job in the fast food industry, which was somewhat of a situational shock to a little college-dropout bugger like my teenaged self. I went from crying almost every day to becoming 'burned out' and unable to discern anything from the white noise that seemed to fester in my brain.It scared me - or at least, I recognised that it would scare me if I could express such things. It was as if my feelings were still there, somewhere, but buried under a thick layer of bullshit. I was aware of what I should be feeling in any given situation, but some wiring in my brain just wasn't connecting to let me express it.I don't really know how everything 'tuned back in'. It was gradual, and wasn't a smooth road back. I guess it was a form of depression maybe, or perhaps even a mild form of PTSD (I don't know enough such things to assume, and I'm loathe to compare my situation to the agony faced by real PTSD sufferers). All I knew was, eventually they came back. I could laugh, I could cry, I could get angry, I could get scared. And it was such a relief. I was - relatively speaking - 'normal' again.I know that the people around me helped - my family, and my friends. And I suspect that this kind of thing can happen to anyone at any age.I cannot say how your friend's situation will resolve itself. But I can say this much: be there for him. He probably needs friends like you more than ever, even if he doesn't realise it himself. If he needs to talk, listen. I can tell this is probably weighing quite heavily on your mind, hence why you came to Quora. So just carry on doing what you're doing, and you can help him get through it.I've been on both sides of this coin in a certain sense, and if I've learned anything in my experiences, it's that people need each other to get through the tough times.I wish you and your friend all the best, and hope that this was of some help to you.Rorie.
Im sick of my best friend calling me a nerd, help!?
Okay, I am fifteen years old, and there are two things i love, that I am really passionate about: fashion and history. So to most people you would have no idea that i love history, but whenever i tell my best friend Im going to the reference library or something like that shell say things like "have fun" and start laughing or call me weird and stuff. and Im like i am REALLY sorry i do not care about skipping class, failing classes and smoking weed and drinking during school, but I have INTERESTS. so sue me. what should I do? im sick of being made fun of for something im interested in!
How can i stop my friend from cutting herself?
i was talking to her about it and she doesnt care that she cuts herself she said its an addiction and she cant stop i really want her to stop but she wont listen to me