Help my friend said something mean behind my back...?
she said to my other friend " i dont like her, i want to be best friends with ____, (my name) is mean because she didnt play with me." i dont know what to do because i am now mad at her and i dont want to be friends. she really hurt me. Is it ok to send her an email it wont be threaning it will just state that i dont want to be friends any more???
Can you really take back something you’ve already said?
We exist in a system where nothing disappears. Just as on the internet these days when our “digital footprint” remains recorded “forever”, in life in general everything we say, do is engraved into a unique “collective memory”.Thus we can't undo what we said our did. And I definitely don't believe in superficial, “oral” apologies either.If we want to repair the damage we caused by our actions, we need to compensate for them - if we choose so - by acting in a way that shows that we truly regret what happened and are ready to act differently from now on.And this makes a much greater impact than having behaved “nicely”, “rightly” to begin with. The constant inner war, struggle in between the inherently egotistic, hateful, subjective nature and a desired, altruistic, unconditionally loving, serving behaviour makes a “true Human”, a “Mensch”…New Life #555 – Life In Perpetual War | Laitman.com
How do you take back something really mean you just said to someone?
Start by being clear [in your own mind]* about why you said the thing you now regret, and own that. Meanness is weak. It comes from a bad place that you need not indulge - think on how that happened. Don't do that again.Apologies require a certain bravery. It's easy to ignore your gaff, or play it off like you don't care, but you do. I'm so glad you do.*edit for clarity: you should be aware of your own motives, but you should NOT burden the person you offended with your reasons, intentions, rationalizations, justifications, and musings on the state of modern society that contributed to your gaffe. It's not their problem.Sincerely but concisely apologize. If the explanation would help, provide one, but keep it to a sentence or two - this is about you taking responsibility and minimizing offense. It is not a time for your victim to hear your protracted confession.Please don't say, "I didn't think you could hear me." That may be true, but suggests that the person's reputation wouldn't be safe with you - if that was true at the time, make sure it's not going to be true going forward. Repent.Once you clarify that you know you said something unkind, regret it, and apologize, stop there. Be humble. Accept whatever they hand back to you, because you're sincerely sorry for what you did. Don't try to justify, further defend, or minimize what happened. Just say what you need to say - that you're sorry and regret what you did, and then stop. This last bit is where many apologies go wrong...the apologizing party puts their foot in it and doesn't know how to stop. Just stop talking.Once the offended party responds, you should be able to determine the next step. That typically falls into the "are we okay?" transition to reconciliation, or the "respect their space" contrite retreat. If it's not the former, it's the latter. The latter feels rotten, but doing the right thing now will leave room for reconciliation later. Put some daylight between you and your error and let them come around if/when they're ready.I know it feels terrible to discover you've been the source of offense. It's not the end of days, though. Everyone finds themselves in your shoes at one time or another. Be brave - it'll pass.
How do i take back mean things said?
My husband and i are currently seperated. When we got into an argument one day i told him that i didn't love him and that he was a terrible husband and that he was not my soul mate. I said those things out of anger b-cause I wanted him to change our situation and at least try to make it better. He said he loves me but doesn't seem to try to reconcile. before this heated argument, i told him that i needed more out of our relationship and more help with the kids etc. and he didn't do anything then either. i said those mean things out of desperation. I do love him and miss him dearly but he wont talk to me about anything. He seems hung up on the mean words spoken. I've tried to explain that I said them out of anger but he doesn't b-lieve me. Communication has broken down and i really want to try to fix this mess! 3 kids are involved after 15 yrs of marriage! He is VERY angry that i left him but i told him 2 months b4 i left that we need to fix this or i had 2 leave. He said he doesn't know how to. Its a mess!
I said mean things to my boyfriend.?
I'm glad you understand how very wrong that was of you. It was selfish and crazy. Now, the only way to say sorry is to go up to him. (don't call, just go over to his house or arrange a meeting) and talk to him. Explain your actions (tell the whole truth, you have no reason to lie, right?) and ask for forgiveness. If he truly cares for you, he'll understand. After that, give him some space to think it over. Don't expect him to give you an answer right there and expect for everything to be "okay" like nothing happened. There's probably some underlying issues in your life that you need to resolve. Think about that. Never attack or lash out at someone you love. If you're angry just talk about your feelings. That's the mature thing to do. If he doesn't want sex, then don't force it upon him. Respect each other! You can understand why he was asking those questions right? He wants to make sure you're okay. I understand they might have hurt you because he was accusing you of stuff you're probably not doing. However, if you're not doing anything wrong, there was no reason to like attack him or anything.
Have you ever said something you were embarrassed by and wanted to take back?
This is the most shameful episode of my entire life. The only good thing to come out of it is that it taught me to NEVER say hurtful things, regardless of who you think may hear them.I was in the ninth grade, it was the first year our school was integrated. There were two black girls in my class, and even though every else ignored them, I talked with them and tried to make them feel more at ease.Then one weekend, I had gotten a prank phone call. I kind of idolized my English teacher, he was the baseball coach and a really good fisherman, so I always tried to have some good anecdote to tell. On Monday morning, in English class, before class really got started, I said, “Mr. Duell, over the weekend some c___ called me and asked if my refrigerator was running”. I said this forgetting that the two black girls were in that class.I was raised not to use slurs, but on that day, I was trying to be cool; one of the guys. I was wrong.That was nearly fifty years ago, and that moment haunts me to this day.Please, if you are an empathetic human being, don’t use slurs.I apologize to anyone who thinks less of me for that.
Why do "guys" or girls hold back thier TRUE FEELINGS ??????
When love breathes life into words, what is expressed isn't what is said........ but what WANTS to be said. bsr Most people do not know their TRUE feelings.....if they really knew their TRUE SELF it would give them the confidence to be more open with others. We are not taught to know our TRUE selves because of the constraints of normal family life while we are being raised ......and later in our academic education and socialization we are restrained because of the common belief in conforming to some unspoken "norm" . This is not necessarily BAD.........just sad that some of us want "more" and we don't know where to start knowing ourselves. So.........if you have a problem with others being open just remember how hard it was for YOU to get started. And if you think that YOUR being open and honest is/was easy.....then just wait till a REALLY open/honest person comes along........you will definitely feel "humbled", I assure you. By the way.........some things are better unsaid......patient....... quiet.....secret.......self-knowing...... trusting ......silent........still........whisper...
Have you had a moment when you wished you could take back everything you ever said and say something else instead?
Yes, in my initial college days I picked up a bad habit of using abusive words in every line of every conversation, not that I meant any of it but I did it just for the sake of fun and sounding cool (what was I thinking, right?). So there was this irritating guy who I used to abuse a lot. I used to say words like motherf****r, sisterf****r etc to him every time he did something irritating. One day I found out from someone that his mother died when he was very young. That was the moment I wished that I could take back everything I had said. That was the point I stopped that habit, for good. :)