Help Some Body I Need To Know

Who do you help first in life, yourself or somebody in need?

The biggest mistake we all make is forgetting about ourselves. We manage to get caught upin the kindness of doing well and helping others that we forget ourselves. This is what happened to me, I took into kindness as a means to get rid of depression and got carried away with it.I often feel when I think about it that I should have been little selfish, but the truth is no one is really going to care about me but myself. That’s what happened; I decided to take care of puppies during the tough phase of my life, initially I felt that there are a lot of supporters to like, comment, smile and appreciate on the face, and pretends to be there for me but when I need help the most and are struggling, the only person I had to help was myself.Nobody is to be blamed here, people have their own needs and wants, and they probably will prioritize themselves over others. I must say that don’t be caught up in social work and all those bullshit.Look out for yourself. There are people who force themselves to do, so that they can keep in good graces with their online friends, and there are others who are insecure and don’t like to be left alone while trying to deal with the mess in their life but one gets to much get carried away by kindness, we lose ourselves in the process.By worrying about other people, we tend to make their problems, our problems and in the end, we forget our own problems.What I did wrong was, Instead of focusing on myself, better and growing in life. I decided to put my time and energy into other people and issues, which yields no value to me.I learnt an important lesson from one of the airline’s security videos:“Before you assist others, always put your oxygen mask on first.”I think that is true to all of us in real life. We have to put oneself first before helping someone else, know that assist yourself before helping someone else.If your life is not in order, how can you help others?'Get your own oxygen mask on so that you can assist others'The lesson I took a lot of time to learn. In conclusion, I have realized that the first person who deserves my help isI, Myself.

How do I know that I'm actually helping someone when they need me to?

Are you talking about emotional help or doing helpful tasks? i assume Emotional help, the thing is, people will work out whatever it is they need to work out by themselves unless they go out of their way to look for direction. While it is nice to try and solve their problems for them, it would be many times better just to understand their situation and comfort them.Now if you mean help like they have an addiction or bad habit that they're wanting to get rid of, The hard truth is if they don’t want to break free enough, they either wont or it will take a long time. You should try and make them see really the effects of their habits. I’m afraid i’m not very experienced in this area, and nobody can really help people who have addictions better than people who know them. sometimes all they need is a little support… or a slap to the face, whatever seems necessary.Now I don’t know exactly what your trying to help them with, but If you care for them enough to be there for them, to let them rant and to empathize and comfort them. You need to know that you cant get rid of all their problems, that sometimes they might fall, or it may seem your help is wasted. But I have a saying. Behind everybody's mask is another mask. You cant take their mask off, you just have to be there when they do.Yeah, It can be a real pain to help somebody. Maybe even the worst kind of pain. Sometimes to help someone else you need to give up a lot, but don’t give up too much of yourself trying to help somebody because that can tear you apart. Im not saying give them the cold shoulder, but you have yourself to worry about as well. My best wishes, I hope you and your friends can get through it, whatever it is.