What is Male involuntary celibacy and what is the correct therapy for it?
Involuntary celibacy can happen to any gender and it is not a disease to be cured. (In fact, I hope one day that we can establish incel as a gender of its own, but that is another answer and a different discussion.) Nevertheless, thanks to Elliott Rodger and a few unfortunate outliers with a very specific set of problems, most people now believe that involuntary celibacy only happens to men and is a misogynistic term because it exists on the premise that all men are entitled to sex. This is completely inaccurate and only those who have had close contact with self-reported incels in incel forums should be qualified to make these claims.I am an involuntary celibate and have done many things to become more desired by my desired partners, but to no avail. In many instances, we are socially normal people and learning more social skills will not help us, except to make us feel as if we were stupid or deficient to begin with. This approach, seen in many people who don't view incels through a positive lens and who make assumptions about us, reduces our confidence; it does not increase it in any way.In my opinion, involuntary celibacy can seldom be changed and we would be better off receiving grief counseling of the type needed for those living with chronic sorrow caused by long-term disabilities. However, this is never offered to us.
Do feminists consider a guy to be sexist if he is involuntarily celibate into his late 20s?
Stop using the term “involuntarily celibate”. It implies that you are celibate because of someone else. That someone else is forcing celibacy on you.You can see why you have no luck with women and you have many questions that have been answered right here on Quora. You need to learn how to deal with people in social situations. Men and women. When you can feel comfortable with men and women in social situations, when you can learn how to react appropriately to social cues with both genders, when you can behave in a social setting like a whole complete person. That is when you can expect to have more luck finding a woman that will trust you.Right now, you are half a person. You say things without thinking. You upset people and make them uncomfortable and you make excuses about your behaviour, saying “I’m just being brutally honest”.You are missing an entire piece of your personality that should have been built up when you were in school. That’s the part of you that reads peoples’ faces and helps you decide whether to joke about something or not. It’s the part that helps you to decide whether a woman might be interested in you, or whether she just wants to run away.This is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s position in order to understand how they must be feeling. And to care if they don’t feel good.I understand that this is more difficult for you to remedy. Most people learn how to behave around other people as children and maybe something went wrong for you.You insist that women don’t want you because you have a high IQ. This is not the case. Women don’t want you because a high IQ does not a healthy relationship make. A high IQ doesn’t make you whole person. You need to work on that other part of you.You can’t keep placing the blame on other people, if you want to change.I would suggest some kind of therapy to help you learn how to do this, but if you keep making excuses and blaming feminists, or women, or society, you will never make any progress.
Do you think involuntary commitment should be eliminated?
Think of these five things: 1. Violent or suicidal ideation is the only thing for which a person can be locked up for something they are only THINKING OF DOING rather than something they HAVE DONE. It is not legal to lock up someone for considering committing a crime, unless it is deemed "mental illness", then it suddenly becomes legal. (And suicide isn't even a crime anymore) 2. People have to suffer long-term and permanent consequences after being committed involuntarily. They will always have great difficulty getting life insurance and health insurance, can never serve in the military, may have to surrender their pilot's license if they fly, and will permanently lose their second amendment rights to own a gun. Even if the depression was situational, and they have been completely stable for 20 years, these consequences still follow them. They are treated like felons. 3. Involuntary commitment is sometimes used as a way to get insurance companies to pay for treatment they would otherwise deny if the admission were voluntary. Is it right to have to damage a person's life as a way to force insurance companies to pay for treatment? 4. People often suffer job discrimination when they receive psychiatric treatment. Sometimes their career is ruined or they are even driven from their job. 5. What right do we have to tell people what to do with their own bodies and lives? Should we be permitted to drug someone into submission?
I actually feel bad for Elliot Rodger?
I've been thinking about him a lot lately and I think it's actually sad what happened. Yeah it was terrible what he did but I feel bad for him because he felt like no one liked him. I know how that feels to feel like the whole world is against you. He needed love like everyone else. He shouldn't have died neither should have all those people. I could tell that he wasn't really an evil monster like a lot of people think he is. He was just miserable and if he would have felt more accepted I don't think all this would have happened. It turned him into a different person than who he really was. I know a lot of you might disagree with me and think I'm a terrible person for feeling bad for him but I can't help but feel bad for him. I actually felt a connection with him I don't know why but I did. I would have loved to have been his girlfriend if I would have know about him before all that happened. what do you think? why do I feel a connection with him?
What happened to the incel support forum?
Members from the old incel support forum at incel.myonlineplace.org have reconnected at http://yourenotalone.info/forum Hoping that previous board members find this link.
What is an incel?
Incel stands for involuntary celebacy.Basically it's a person who wants sex but can't get it. In an article by George State University, they define it as somebody who wants to have sex but couldn't find a partner for at least 6 months. So you can be an incel with some sexual experience, you can even be in a relationship and be incel if you are not having sex but want to. or you can be a “virgin incel” Where You have never had sex even though you want to.A survey done by the centres for disease control calculates that 27.2% of men and 28.6% of women in the 15–24 bracket are sexless. I do question the survey and being sexless doesn't mean involuntary celibacy. It could also be voluntary celibacy.Anyway, one thing must be noted that incel effects men more emotionally than women. Men have a social stigma when it comes to not getting laid. and it's something not to be downplayed as we saw with Elliot Rodgers and Chris Harper. It's a major emotional problem for men. Ive been there and it sucks. when I want women to feel where I'm coming from , i compare it to having children:imagine you as a woman so desperately wanted children but everything you do ends up with you not falling pregnant. you start to believe you were not meant to be pregnant. You start believing that you will never have children. It's a really sad and a hard truth to Accept. You may have to adopt (the equivalent of men paying for sex or brides). It's an option, but definitely not first prize.
Do incels even acknowledge that there are women in the world who aren’t young, thin, and white? Is it that they literally don’t see other women when they are out in the world?
So I spent some time on incel forums earlier. I was doing some research. Here are some things I found.All women are rated on a scale of 1-10. However, one quote I read asked that if he “couldn't get at least a 5, just euthanize me” another said he “wouldn't been seen in public with less than a 7.” Women who were not the incel’s ideal weight (ie supermodel thin) were routinely called “landwhales” (yes, it is horrific).The nicest guy on the thread encouraged other guys to set their standards at not-supermodel women. His reason? Sex with an ugly girl still feels good and anyone looks good when they're bent over so you can get in them. Want to know what happened to him? He got banned from the forum for “bragging about sex” and for telling people they perhaps needed to aim for a different demographic. Although, honestly, would any woman want a man who would label her with a number?And people, just realize that these are the guys who call others jerks and themselves the nice guys. The guys who get girls are the ones who are assholes, and they would actually treat a woman right, according to them.In other words, these men have an extremely twisted view on reality, on their own behavior, and on the decision-making criteria of women.Guys, I don't care how beautiful you are. If you decide you want to date me based on a number, call other women “landwhales”, think that anyone who is not at least above average looking is beneath you, and think you're still a nice guy, you don't stand a chance. The only way you're getting my attention is if you hire me as a counselor, and believe me, we are staying in the professional realm, because you seriously need the professional help.Sincerely,“Becky”