Why do you like helping people?
The only problem with this answer is, no matter how much I try not to, still it’s gonna sound like I am bragging about myself. But, I am just stating the facts which is the need of this answer.Yes, I do!I am a helpful person by nature. I have been helping others to my best possible extent.I do small donations to the NGOs every year, usually for the kids’ welfare. My office selects NGO every year and circulates email to all employees, and immediately, I do my bit without having any second thoughts about it. This year, I have donated some school stationery and some money.I have been helping my office colleagues as well. I train them for software and for work related matters. In fact, I am very good at mentoring people. I help them in troubleshooting something that they can't figure out themselves.I also make short macros for them, so that their work gets done quicker. Mind you, things like this don't come under my job profile. It is just that I know some things better, so they ask if I can think of something quick that would reduce their time and effort in repetitive work. I am a very approachable person.Sometimes, I get poem requests from my colleagues for their kids as well. Writing poems for them makes me a kid, too. So, I enjoy it very much.On Quora, I am the ‘Silent Editor'. I edit other users’ answers, either on my own, or on request by users to check and edit their answers. I enjoy doing this task very much.I provide guidance to many new users here on Quora. Some of them have turned pro now. My help includes helping them understand the importance of grammar, dos and don'ts of writing, explaining function of Quora, and troubleshooting.Some of my answers here are intended to help new users with their writing. Some are helpful for existing users, too.Helping, in general, helps me learn a lot of new things which I may not have known without being helpful. I am always looking for situations where I can challenge my existing skill sets, or just utilize my skills for helping others.However, like everything else, there are always downsides of being helpful as well. There are a few (read: just a few) people who think (and behave) like I am available just for them to be ‘used' the way they like (for their benefit).But, my thinking is, if 9 people out of 10 are genuine in asking for my help, I am gonna ignore that 1 greedy person, and continue doing what I usually do - being helpful.Is there anyway I can help you?Smiles! :)Shail 'The Helping Hand Flash'
How can people who can't help themselves help other people?
Many people find it easier to help others than help themselves. Now of course we are talking in a very generalised way here as I'm sure a 5,000 word answer still wouldn't cover everything however an example would be an individual suffering from anxiety. They find just picking up the phone and making a call to a company regarding their satellite TV package, for example, so difficult that they procrastinate, over think and leave it, hoping it will just magically disappear.On the hand their partner, friend or loved one needs a favour, like making a call, or even going down to the office to make a complaint, they don't think twice, it's easy.This can be due to a lack of self-esteem, an unhealthy sense of self and a number of other issues including an altruistic defense mechanism that they can use to feel better in the fact that they can help others, but not necessarily support themselves in a similar way. I think a more important question here would be, does this relate to you, or someone you know? How does it have an impact on you?
Why do people always assume i think i'm better than them!?
Fun Fact: 99% of the time that people say "She thinks she's so much better than everyone else," they are saying this because they think you ARE better than them. As a result, they pick you apart and try to find all of the flaws in you and point them out because they want to prove THEMSELVES wrong. Trust me, I've done it to other people, and I've had it done to me. When you hear that someone has said that about you and you want it to stop, go up to them and confront them. Don't be rude or mean, because it's just adding fuel to the fire. Be really nice and approachable and say something like "Hey, I heard you have been saying that I think I'm better than everyone else. That's really not true, I'm actually really jealous of your hair, it's so shiny!!" Don't put yourself down, but if you build other people up, they won't feel the need to pick on you anymore, and you'll probably make some new friends in the process!!
Do people have obligation to help others or should people be responsible of helping themselves?
I believe that you have an obligation and responsibility to look after yourself, and with your talents you can enrich your life and society by helping others who can benefit from your help.In other words, we are obliged to make “us” succeed. And we ought to feel the joy at helping “others” succeed.Granted that is a bit idealistic, but I was raised that way and other than handicapping me in the corporate rat race somewhat it’s helped me be happy with myself, gather a quantity of friends and acquaintances who like me for “me”, and help me run a fairly well functioning family whatever that is.To help with this mindset:I don’t think anyone is entitled to anything other than rolling up their sleeves and making something good happen.I think everyone’s rights end where someone else’s rights begin.Those who can provide for themselves, ought to. Whoever can’t, we ought to help. Pretty simple stuff.If you’re into that :)
Do blind people want help in public or would they rather be independent? Does it make you feel less independent, giving you the feeling that people think you need help, or is it considered a nice gesture, appreciated, making life easier for you?
Let me tell you a bit about this from a visually impaired person's perspective.Ever since I started to use the white cane, I've been inundated with offers--both kind and aggressive--of help. People leap to their feet to open doors for me. If someone bumps against me, they apologize profusely to the point of comedy. Strangers grab me as I cross the street. Cars back up if they see me coming (either to give me space or avoid me denting their cars, I'm never sure).It's exhausting, having so many people's anxieties pressed upon me. The ironic thing is that people's anxious offers to help are actually counterproductive.Almost three years ago, my sight reached the point where I needed to use mobility aids (a white cane in my case), yet I haven't become proficient with it until ... just in the last few months. Why the delay, you may ask. Simple. Too many people helped me.With people swooping down on me and trying to act like my personal radar, I got tired of fighting the would-be helpers. I let them guide me and never built up my skills.Using a cane is a skill like any other; it needs to be fostered, not neglected. It wasn't until I went out on my own, made mistakes, learned from my mistakes, I became a reasonably proficient cane user.It's called Learned helplessness and that's not something you want to encourage.So what if a visually impaired person takes a few more seconds to get out of a train? So what if they pat around a little for the door handle? So what if they go on a roundabout way because that's how the sidewalks are laid out? They're simply interacting with the world in a different way, which might look odd to you, but that doesn't mean that they need help. Plus, sighted people are notoriously bad at telling the difference between a visually impaired person figuring out the landscape and them reaching their limitations.My suggestion is that unless the visually impaired person asks for help or there is a clear hazard in their path, you can go about your own business. Consider yourself helpful for not interfering with their interaction with the world.They have a white cane and seeing-eye dogs for a reason. Let them use them._____For further discussion of this issue, I recommend listening or reading the "Batman" episode of NPR's This American Life. Batman | This American Life
Would you stop to help a stranger on the highway?
I think it is too dangerous. You just can't trust anyone.
Why do I care so much about what others think of me? How can I stop?
Everyone experiences what you’re feeling now. That thing that resides in your head, a creature which is too keen to what other people are saying. That creature who is restless just to know how they do in the eyes of the many.It’s normal to care about what other people say. To get rid of what is normal could just end up in a perpetual frustration.However, I believe you are referring to “approval addiction” and not just merely thinking of what other people think of you. You think of what other people think of you because you look forward for their permission.You can’t continue what you’re doing right now without knowing what other people say, right? It doesn’t change when they say something bad about you, something negative as an insult. You want to hear those insult. how you long for those.There are a lot of ways to shut the mind that craves for approval addiction, but here’s what I’ve tried and found effective:Be honest to yourself about what you are actually feeling. Do you really worry about what other people say? Or do you just come up with an excuse to stop what the important thing that you’re doing? What do you feel?Understand why you feel the way you feel. Inquire more of those feelings. Try to understand their source.Think of the worst thing that could happen. So what if they told you that you’re a horrible person, what would come after that? Would they laugh? So what if they laughed, what would come after that?Isn’t it interesting? So you were laughed at, other people are saying a lot of things about you, isn’t it interesting how they spend their precious time just for you? You must be very important.“Shake it off.” Three words is all you need. Try to sing that out, and it will greatly change your mood.After that, do something greater. Continue what you’re doing and be better.What I’ve got from approval addiction is that people have the need to be understood. But the fact is clear: NO ONE CAN FULLY UNDERSTAND US. ISN’T THAT INTERESTING?