Whats your opinion on infidelity?
I just had a deep conversation with a friend at work he describes cheating as a natural trait all men carry, he stated that all men eventually cheat that its inevitable. He said that if it ever was to happen to me in my current relationship that I shouldn't take it "personal' that I should be 'open minded' ....Ive been cheated on before and it was a horrible experience, what are some of your experiences in relationships that support or oppose my friends theory
How do I support a friend with a cheating husband?
Helpful things to say: “You’re going to get through this.” “However this turns out, I hope it all works out for the best.” “I’m here for you.” “Just take it one day at a time.”Do… — Remind your friend that he or she will get through this period. “Not to be melodramatic,” my friend told me, “but a divorce can feel like dying. Life, as you know it, is coming to an end. Reminding a person that there is life, and even happiness, after the divorce is reassuring.”— Be careful about how you talk about other people’s divorces in front of the divorcing folks. “While I was getting divorced, a friend described a bully in our school as ‘from a broken home,’” a friend told me. “I hated hearing like that. For me, the biggest worry was how the divorce would affect my kids.” “Someone gleefully told a story about how his brother was going to screw his ex-wife in the divorce settlement,” another friend recalled. “It was very distasteful to hear that kind of talk, given my situation.”— Include divorcing friends in your plans. “Divorce changes everything about your social life,” someone said. “It really helps if friends ask you to do things. It makes you feel included and supported.”Don’t… — Argue hard for your friend to take one course or another. You can’t know what’s right for someone else.— Be judgmental. “People judge themselves harshly for getting divorced,” a friend told me. “Don’t add to it.” Along the same lines, try not to say too many bad things about the other spouse. “When we first separated, I wanted to hear people criticize my ex-wife,” a friend said, “but it’s really not good to have those kinds of conversations. After all, I did marry her, and we have kids together, so I don’t need to know that everyone really didn’t like her for all those years.”— Assume that you know who is “right” or “wrong.” It’s impossible, from the outside, to understand someone else’s relationship. “Technically, I left my husband,” a friend told me, “but I thought he was the one who abandoned our marriage. I didn’t appreciate being viewed as the one who wasn’t willing to do any work to keep it going.”— Insist on being given a reason. People can’t always sum up their reasons neatly, and they may want to keep their reasons private. Don’t probe for explanations or pry for details.
Can he love me again after infidelity?
It takes time to heal after such an emotional trauma. It is very common for the betrayed spouse to undergo a roller coaster of emotions in the first year especially after discovery. You are the best person to help him heal. He needs you to help rebuild the trust that was so severely damaged. This will take time. Affairs are tangled into a web of lies to keep the fantasy going. Sometimes, those lies are just as hurtful as the actions. Be open and have compassionate honesty. Answer his questions with patience, he will ask over and over. Let him see that you ended all contact with any other men, offer him full access to any communication you have, your cell, voice mail, email, messaging, etc. Let him see if he feels the need. You damaged the trust, it's up to you to rebuild it. As he sees that you are doing the 'right thing', he will feel the need to look less and less. Be accountable for your time, let him know if anything changes. Keep those lines of communication wide open. If the other man contacts you or you run into him, end it quickly and let your husband know. Any secrets at this point will damage that fragile trust. Telling him this will not happen again is just words. Make a plan to protect yourself and your marriage in the future. Keep reassuring him of your love, He now struggles with doubts. Make time for each other as a couple. Date. It's hard for couples with children. You get so child centered and forget what drew you both together to begin with. Look into finding some help. A safe place to vent. Try to find a counselor who is certified in marriage counseling with experience with infidelity. You might have to try more than one. Or, try a marriage weekend program, such as Retrouvaille. Yes, he can love you again. He is hurt and confused. Marriages can survive this, but it takes lots of effort from both of you to recover.
What's the best way to help a friend through a divorce?
Just support him. Try not to judge him. This is easier said than done: I have my own issues with infidelity—I really think unhappy people can find a way to happiness without lying and deceit, and lying is the coward's way out—and had a hard time "supporting" a friend who was cheating on her husband. I found that I had to forcibly shut my mouth frequently, though I did ask questions: "What would make you happy?" or "What would happen if this is discovered...is that what you want?" But I had to eventually distance myself because I felt to some degree like an accomplice.In your case, this behavior is already in the past, so if you yourself have strong feelings that could lead you to be less neutral than is ideal, you should be able to talk them down a bit, as the relationship is finished (as it should be). It sounds to me like he just got married awfully young.I think the best thing you can do now is just listen, and ask him questions. How does he feel about what happened? What has he learned? What would he do differently going forward? If he finds himself at a similar crossroads in the future, how will he address it next time? What are his hopes/regrets?If he is your close friend, your opinion (and your ethics) will matter to him. The beauty of friendship is we get to choose people we admire, and when we need help orienting ourselves, we surrender ourselves (to varying degrees) to their influence. Be positive, be understanding (the latter will allow you to forgive him), and help him forgive himself and find constructive ways to rebuild.
Is it wrong to seek emotional support outside of your marriage?
It is if you do not go to your spouse first. Infidelity is not merely limited to the physical realm; there is such a thing as emotional cheating. The fact that you feel guilty about your friendship demonstrates that something is amiss. Honest advice: tell your husband that you've been turning to another man for emotional support. Chances are that he will be angry initially but it may be a wake-up call for him to be more attentive. Good luck!
How can I stop cheating on my husband with his best friend? It’s driving me crazy and I need advice. My husband was my first sex partner and I slept with his friend once now.
Your husband is being betrayed by his beloved wife and his closest friend.How do you stop?You stop. You grow up, and realize the harm you are doing.You protect your husband and live with whatever guilt you feel.You may benefit from therapy, to help you know why you did this, what you really want, and whether divorce is the right thing.
Is it possible to get over my husband cheating with my best friend?
Yes. It will take a lot of work.First of all, you shouldn’t decide whether to stay or go right away. You need to figure out what you are and aren’t willing to accept from him. He needs to win your trust back. That’s an enormous task. And you might find that you can’t trust him, even if he does everything “right” to re-establish trust.I highly recommend you get your spouse to read “How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair” by Linda J. MacDonald. This will show him how deeply he has hurt you and how committed he needs to be to demonstrating his trustworthiness.If he does the arduous and lengthy work, you may find you can eventually trust him again. Maybe not. But if he tries to rug-sweep what he did or not fully and completely address the pain he caused you, it’s pretty much hopeless.Good luck.
My good friend is cheating on his wife. Should I tell his wife?
Hmm, I expected to see the obvious answer already:Give the friend an ultimatum that he has to tell the wife by x time, otherwise you will. If you found out about the cheating through something nefarious (you spied, read someone else's email, were breaking into their house, etc) just don't explain how you found out but that you know. Be sure to not be too hard on your friend, and make the effort to listen and be a supportive friend yourself. acknowledge that this happens to good people sometimes and that a marriage can be successful (even stronger) after an episode like this. Or alternatively, that if the marriage needs to end it better that it happen with your friend's admission rather than the wife's discovery. . Now, if he doesn't successfully tell her, you technically still have the option of telling or not. Maybe your friend somehow makes a compelling case for why he needs to cheat (I myself would likely not be compelled, but who knows). The more likely failure is he agree to tell her but doesn't go through with it. At that point you can try again to convince your friend to tell her (another ultimatum) or just tell the wife yourself. If you actually need to tell the wife, you can be anonymous if needed. Create a fake email address, etc. However, this might prevent the wife from believing, so it helps to have some stronger form of evidence. Assumptions:- You believe cheating is wrong- You are actually close with your friend and care about the wife as well- Your friend will not go unhinged and kill you if you confront him
Should I stay friends with my ex Sister in Law?
I have been best friends with my sister-in-law pretty much all my life and it was through me that she met and married my brother. They were married for 15 years and split up last year (infidelity on her part). My brother is totally incensed with rage that I still keep in touch with her. Our friendship is, and never will be, the same as it was. We don't talk regularly, maybe once a month and haven't been out together since the split. I think we should try to keep things as 'normal' as possible as there are children involved. She took my daughter to see a movie last week and my brother is really angry with me, he said a lot of terrible things. He has been so hurt by what happened and he wants me to hate her as much as he does. But I don't.
Can my friend sue her husband's girlfriend for having a baby with him?
Her husband had an adulterous affair and the g/f kept telling the husband that she would be sure not to get pregnant but did anyway (I know, men are so dumb for falling for that). Now the child is about 10 months old and he is paying child support. I don't agree with what the husband did, but I do believe that they BOTH should share responsibility. Everyone is always saying that about the father, but what about the mother in this case. This is just wrong. I feel so bad for my friend and just want to know if she can get anything out of this. She has stayed with her husband because she loves him and believes it's the right thing to do.