How to change your parents' way of thinking?
well here is the deal my parents are shockingly strict well even more than strict they don't let me go out without a "companion" which is a family member! they don't let me go out with friends at all! im not allowed to use my car without their consent and even though i follow their rules they've been breaking up their promises! like for the past two weeks i really planned on to go to this event and i got they're approval even 2 months ahead and just before the event starts and im about to go they said "NO you cant" !!! and another event that is happening today and they aslo descided that im not going! im seriously fed up with them! im considering to move out of the country because of them but i know my life will become even worse since i'll be penniless :( i've tried to be the "good girl" but they always take advantage of me like saying "oh you dont need to go there right? you can miss it right?" / " you dont need this right? let's get rid of it / give it to someone else!" they are so stupidly strict for no damn reason! saying that it's better for /religious/ reasons! but they aren't even THAT religious! i've been in deep depression lately and also thinking of suicide because of them i seriously need a solution it may sound silly but get this im 23 years old!
What do your parents think about changing your name?
I tried to change my name twice.The first time, I tried going by Eli. Mom made it very clear that she disapproved of this name and made sure to pronounce it EEEEEli at every opportunity. Frustrated, I went back to Sabrina for a few months.In that time I was debating, poring over lists of unisex names that wouldn't immediately be assumed male or female. When I settled on Addison Taylor, I went to my parents.“We spent a long time picking out your name, you know,” my dad said, disappointment creasing his features.“I know, Dad, and I respect and appreciate that, but Sabrina doesn't fit me at all,” I said. “I won't be able to transition if my name gives me away every time.”“Do you have something else in mind, then?” Mom said.“Addison Taylor Rich,” I said proudly.“And do you know what you need to do to get your name changed?” Mom asked, obviously expecting the answer to be no.After subjecting her to a long description of the paperwork involved, Mom sighed.“You really are serious about this,” she said. “We’ll go to the courthouse in the morning.”
How can I change the way my parents treat me?
See, you seem to have stressed out. One thing I want you to be clear with is that whatever happens it is your parents who will love you sincerely. All others, be it friends, relatives or whoever they will be with you but they may not really love you. Your parents are a bit worried about you. Everyone's parents should be. I mean they know the world much much more than what you do. Even they might have revolted in the same manner when they were of your age. But you know the point here is your parents truly wants you to be happy and safe.You said you are Americanised , and what do you mean with that? I don't understand, really I don't get the idea. You want to prove yourself maybe ,being self reliant, being independant ,they are all good, but please do take a moment to realize that your parents, the two people who brought you into this world, who loved you more than anything, who cared for you so much that they haven't taken good care of themselves, they are not going to be here forever. It is just this time that they scold you, scream at you and all because they don't want you to be in any trouble. You as a daughter should make sure that the time you have with your parents, please please love them. Don't do anything with an urge of anger . Spend your time with your family. I am sorry I cannot give you an answer in support of your views, but this is my view. In this short time you have with your parents,make sure you make them happy, and proud. Yes girl, you probably shouldn't go alone with a guy atleast you should let your parents know about it. I mean this is not a great friendly beautiful world. Anything can happen, don't trust anyone too much ,take my word! Well about the culture, Since you are born to Indian parents you are an INDIAN ,no matter how much Americanised you consider yourself to be. So their culture , tradition and beliefs apply to you too. Indian culture is the best, seriously. You have to acknowledge yourself a bit about our country. Where in the world can you find a country with such diversity? It is like a world in a world. Your parents don't like you becoming Americanised, it is not that they don't like non Indians. They don't want you to act like a non Indian. Anyway I hope I was able to help, please do love them , and don't try to get Americanised.
How do I change the way my friend’s parents think about me? My friend’s parents found out that I vape and that I sold vapes last year, and they won’t let me hang out with my friends (who all vape) anymore. What is this hypocrisy?
They may be slightly over reacting but it's because they care about you. Being a parent don't come with instructions. We all fly by the seat of our pants. They are doing what they think is the best way to handle the situation.You are growing up and trying stuff out, in this case vaping. I speak from experience and while I really do understand why you do it I really wish you would quit now before you end up vaping for the next 30 years. We are just starting to learn about vaping. While I'm sure it's safer than cigarettes I'm sure it is still dangerous.I'm 60 years old. Started smoking before I was 10. Believe it or not, I was once a young person. What you were doing is risky and selling to other kids is wrong. You need to understand that by selling to other kids you are influencing them to start a bad habit. I'd be curious how you get enough to sell.Anyway, cut your parents some slack and try to understand they are doing what they think is best. All parents make mistakes but at least you have parents who love you. Many of us didn't have parents willing to step up and do “something” to try and look out for you. Besides, when you were doing these things you knew if you got caught there would be a price to pay. So take your punishment and don't be so hard on your parents.One day, they won't be around and this situation won't mean anything. It's a passing problem. They will lighten up.
My parents are always trying to change me?
Okay. Well let's put it this way. It seems like no matter what I do, my parents want to change me! Here's everything they have told me basically: “Get off the computer and go outside & play, or read a book!” What they don't realize is that I go onto this site called Quizzaz.com where it's basically people writing stories, making quizzes, and talking. So it's basically this website where a bunch of teens write stories. Like fan fictions, you get what I mean? :p. I will never ever EVER tell them that I have a Quizzaz account. They'd read my stories and they're all fan fictions, and that would just be plain weird if they ever read them. “Why don't you go & stop listening to that emo music and go talk to your friends, maybe have a slumber party and gossip!” Here's the thing. I don't have friends. I hate sleepovers & gossip. I'm very socially awkward, and I have a hard time making friends. “Ohh stop, silly. You don't want to be a drummer. You want to be a doctor!” No. I will never ever EVER be a doctor. Why don't they understand that I want to be a drummer? They also want to change my music. I will never change the music I listen to. Just because my brother listens to Bruno Mars, doesn't mean I do. I actually hate pop music, but they want me to like it. They want me to go out more and play soccer, talk to my friends, basically be that teenager on TV shows. It doesn't help that my brother's the “perfect” one. They kid around with me like “Ohh yea we love him more!” and laugh. I know they're kidding, but it really hurts. :/. They say I'm beautiful and I should have a bunch of friends. But in all reality, I don't see myself as beautiful at all. I just smile and nod, but inside I'm like “What the heck are you talking about? Are we looking at the same person or...” It just seems like they disapprove on everything! My style, my music, what I want to do with my life, what I want to do all day, who I hang out with (No one.), the way I just live my life. It's so annoying! What am I supposed to do to make them stop? It really brings me down :(. Can anyone help?
How can I change the way I am because of how my parents raised me (spoiled brat)?
As others have said, you clearly recognize the situation, which is a huge step. Now you need to identify when you are acting spoiled and figure out if it really is appropriate to expect to have things your way. No one is, or should be, completely selfless. That isn’t mentally or emotionally healthy.So, a couple of things to try…Sit down each evening and review the day. Examine your interactions and which ones you made about you. Then look at what the situation was and figure out if it really SHOULD have been about you. I bet you’ll see some repeats. These are situations where you can begin to unlearn those habits and ways of thinking. Figure out what you will do instead, like not insist on being heard, not insist on the group going where you want, not indulging in oneupsmanship.Other things you can do every day… recognize other people’s competence, even if with just a word. Thank people for what they do that benefits you and remind yourself that you didn’t necessarily deserve their kindness. Do nice things for people anonymously, then secretly take pleasure in just the fact that they are happy, or you helped solve a problem for them.I believe this is a journey that will be hard to start and will take a while. I also think that in the end you’ll think it was worthwhile.
Would you change anything about the way your parents brought you up?
I think I had a great childhood, but there is always room for improvement. When raising my own children, there were two main things that I decided I would do differently than my parents:Meals - As a child, I was made to clean my plate, regardless if I was hungry or not. I remember times I’d literally sit at the table for three hours, only to be reprieved at bedtime.With my own kids, I never insisted they finish a meal. However, if they didn’t finish, there was to be absolutely no dessert or snacks afterwards.____________________________________________________________________________________Corporal punishment - my Dad was the physical disciplinarian, and my Mom was the verbal one. If my Mom was frustrated, she would give the dreaded warning “don’t make me call your father at work!” If Dad did get a call, we’d get an ass-burning via his belt when he got home. He’d have been arrested in current times.My style of punishment was milder - I tried to avoid anything physical whenever possible. On the rare occasion that everything else failed, my kids would get a smack on the behind with my hand. I vowed never to hit them with any object, only my palm on the butt, and then only when nothing else worked.Notwithstanding the areas that I approached differently as a parent, the great extent of how my parents raised us was wonderful. They were loving people (other than the occasional “belt” episode), and protective of us, but not to a fault. They instilled the values of respecting others, being kind to people, hard work, and doing well in school. One thing that still amazes me today is I was raised with the knowledge that I would be going to college. And, that I could be anything I wanted to be.At time I entered school in the early 1960s, I didn’t realize that girls were traditionally raised differently from boys - steered towards marriage rather than a career. I’m eminently grateful to my parents for being ahead of their time in that respect, and for raising me to have a strong value system and to be confident in myself.I love my folks very much, and although my Mom has dementia, they are both still with us - Mom is 87 and Dad is 91.
Is there any way to change the mentality of my parents?
Where you are born is not your a choice you get to make. How your parents deal with one another is also something you cannot control. But you can choose your actions and words with some thinking.The simple fact you are asking this question means you have identified this as a problem and really want o fix the problem. Let your parents know how you perceive them and how you went about looking for answers to better the situation. This alone will be an eye opener for them.When we get into a habit of yelling and taunting our family it becomes a vicious circle and sort of difficult to break out. Guess they both need some level of deep talking either through some learned person who's advice they'd appreciate or through introspection in solitude. They may not take advice from you very well at this stage. Change their environment if possible. Go out somewhere there they do not feel so stressed out. If they find reasons to still yell at one another then intervene with substantial examples. They might not accept openly but will be forced to rethink their mentality.Sometimes mentality changes requires big jolts. All of a sudden these perceptions undergo a change when the belief they are based on is shattered. At the age of your parents, their brains are so wired to think and act in a specific way that change would not come easy. May be it will be a life changing event like you going away from their nest that'll bring out their best. Take small steps towards change you want to see.