I need helping finding my birth parents?
As H****** has given good links I have answered just to let you know that most parents want to be found. About 96% of parents do want to be found. Please don't assume all parents who surrender their children because they want to. It's far more common that parents who surrender because they feel they don't have a choice as they are poor, single, lack support, pressured by parents, even actively encouraged to do so in places such as here. Stick around long enough and you will see people encouraging parents to be exactly that will be accused of being coercive yet it's far more coercive to encourage surrendering. I am one of those mothers you can't fathom out. I was 19 years and had recently split from boyfriend when I found out I was pregnant. Right from the start I knew I wanted to be a mother so abortion wasn't an option and adoption never crossed my mind. I had a job so I could have raised my son without being on welfare. If my parents had had their way I would have aborted but when they found out it was too late. I was bullied and lied into surrendering my son and 23 years later (post reunion) I found out my son's adoption was actually illegally just on the basis that I didn't know my rights, never agreed to him being adopted and I didn't sign anything. My son started searching when he turned 18 and found my family quite quickly. They in turn told him they didn't know where I was and my mum even wrote a letter to him to accept I didn't want to be found which she knew was a lie. They also kept up the lies as to why he was adopted. I found my son when he had just turned 23 so that turned his life upside down as he felt like he had been lied too all of his life. It wasn't his adoptive parents fault that they had been told lies as to why they were adopted. However he hates the fact that my family lied to him for 5 years and would have continued to lie if I hadn't found him. It took me a long time to forgive them for not being honest to my son and for not telling me they had contact with him. .
How can I get birth control pills without my parents finding out?
Okay well first of all don't give me a lecture about being mature and waiting until marriage because I'm not religious at all and don't believe in that. I can do what I want. Okay with that said....how can I get birth control pills without my mom finding out??? I want it to prevent pregnancy but also help with my acne and major cramps each month. Each month I have to stay home from school for the first day of my period because I'm throwing up and can barely move from my cramps being so horrible. My cousin has the same thing and her doctor gave her the pill and she has barely had any monthly problems since. I'm wondering if I can ask my doctor for them and trust her not to tell my mom??? (aren't there laws for that?) but I'm also willing to go to planned parenthood since I can drive there sooo I need to know what paper work I need and how to get it to not show up on my insurance since it's my step dads insurance?? Any kind of help and information would be greatly appreciated!!! Thanks in advance and serious answers only please!!!
Getting on birth control without my parents finding out?
Kudos to you for being prepared, but I just want you to know that using birth control will not protect you against STDs. I know you've been with your bf for 5 years, but even if he SAYS he's a virgin, you should both use condoms or get tested for STDs just to be on the safe side (I know you've never had sex, but a guy's more willing to go along if you do it too). Your gynocologists office may have sample packs that you can get for your first pack of pills. Usually they are the name brand versions and you'll probably want to get a generic version. I have the generic Loestrin and I pay $25 for 21 pills with insurance. I am sure that will the selection of hormonal birth control on the market today there is an affordable version. With the Pill you have to pick it up at the pharmacy. Also, there is injectable birth control, which would help you out by not having to explain why ya got a packet of pills lying around. Depo-Provera is injected every 12 weeks (around 4 times a year). This is always administered at the doctor's office. It used to cost $75 for me before insurance (I'm saying this and I don't even know if you're in the US...sorry). As to your mom - welllll, I know how that is. I could always go to my mom about any questions that I had but the minute that I asked about getting on the Pill (seriously ONLY for period reasons) or discussing sex outside the boundaries of marriage - she'd FREAK. But you have to remember this, you are 18 and even if mom pulls the, "as long as you live in my house" crap, truly there is NOTHING that she can do to prevent you from being on birth control. Maybe you have another responsible, trusted adult that you know that could speak to your mom about you being on birth control. Remember, she's ALWAYS gonna see you as her baby (trust me on this...I'm almost 30, own my own house, car and have a good job and my mom still will revert to treating me like I'm 5 sometimes...sheesh). I wish you the best of luck, sweetie!
How can I know if my parents are my biological parents without having a DNA test?
Do you have reason to believe they are not your bio parents? Do you trust in them to be truthful with you? How old are you?Chances are, in my opinion, that if they are not completely up front with you about it then there is a chance you could be adopted.Ask to see your birth certificate. It will have your bio parents names written on it, without a doubt!If you have an aunt or uncle or possibly grandparents, see what their reaction is to your question. Again, if they are standoffish about answering the question for you, you could be adopted.But before you freak out over it if you are, remember that the people you have been calling mom and dad took you in to love you like their own. Unless you are being abused or treated badly and I certainly don’t mean that they won’t buy you a new car for Junior High Graduation, or something of that nature, well then you may want to consider yourself lucky.
My adopted mom won't tell me about my birth parents.?
(this is for my friend, she asked me to put this up to get answers, i'll talk in first person) well, i was born in bulgaria. i lived there for three years,and was put into an orphanige. i was adopted, and my adopted mom will not tell me ANYTHING. when i ask her about it she goes im your real mom! or i dont want to talk about it. my grandfather seems like the only person i can tell. because my mother will not tell me one thing. i know my adopted mother has my birth certificate, she needed it for my softball thing. when my moms not home should i look for it? does it say my parents name,where i was born and what time? should i tell my mom i think im old enough to know, and that she cant hide it from me forever? i want to know. ive been thinking about it so much lately. what do i do about this.
Am I wrong not to want to meet my birth parents?
apparently i am a prom night baby, not a preplanned pregnancy like my mom and dad always told me. Background: so, a few days ago I got a letter in the mail from some unknown couple ( i presume they are a couple, i really don't know) . Stupid me, I opened the letter. In short, the letter writer told me that they were my "real" parents, and that they would love to meet me. I thought this was some stupid joke by my bf (he does stupid things like this all the time), but i asked my mom about it. She and Dad broke down crying and told me that i was adopted. I was pretty much speechless; I have always thought I was my parent's only child, and that was about it ( i sort of look like Mom, i have the same blonde hair, and I have close to the same color eyes as Dad), being adopted never really crossed my mind. Mom and Dad never really gave any hints about being adopted. I mean, my birth certificate seemed legit (it has my real parent's names and everything) and i never really questioned my birth. Dilemma: I don't want to meet my birth parents. I don't care that they might have matured from high school. Only idiots get knocked up at prom. I went to prom, I did not get pregnant. I refuse to believe I am the minority. I really don't care about them at all. I have parents. Sure, sometimes i don't like my parents, but hey, they are mine. I love them; they love me, and in the end, I really like my life. I prefer the mirage I was living in for the past 17 years to this reality. After thinking about this for a little while, I figured I would like to go back to the mirage and pretend this never happened. Question: Is this wrong? Do i really have to go and see them? I for one, do not want to meet them over christmas break; instead, I would like to go to my grandparents (like we always do) and pretend this never happened. Is this morally wrong? Should I give them a chance? Do I have to give them a chance? Do I owe it to them?
How do you discreetly find your birth mother without your uncooperative adoptive mother finding out?
I think you will need a private email address and possibly a PO Box. It is very helpful to know what state and city you were born. There are many adoptee services and information exchanges that you can look up online but you will receive correspondences. I’m,not sure you are of adult age which may be a hinderence in your search. If your adoption was sealed (which most are) you will need to file a “Break Seal”request with the courts, these services can help with that process. Once you have accomplished that, all the court records will be released to you.Be careful for what you wish for, very often you will be deeply disappointed in what you find. Adoptees can often have a fantasy of who their birth parents are and that everything was a big mistake. This could be a hard end to that fantasy and may have you questioning your pedigree and shortcomings . i.e. ( I’m not or never will be a success or smart because I came from a damaged person of poor pedigree).Just a funk of sorts and you can get through it.
Is it wrong that I want to find my birth parents? My adoptive family says my birth parents will feel uncomfortable and don't want to be found.
Virtually every adopted child becomes curious about their birth parents. It is reasonable for you to be interested.But yearning for your birth parents is an emotional mine field for everyone involved: you, your birth parents, and your adoptive parents. I won’t pretend to have any idea what’s going through your head, even though I have two adopted children, but it’s worth taking a minute to sort it out. Do you feel abandoned? What effect will meeting your birth parents have on you? How are you going to react if they were nasty neglectful drug-addled people? How are you going to react (and how are they going to feel) if they were living a horrible life and had to make an impossible decision to give you up for adoption? How will your adoptive parents feel if you signal that you’d rather have the birth parents who gave you up than the adoptive parents who spent so many years raising you. If your birth parents want/wanted no contact, is it OK to impose your will on them and force contact?See? Emotional mine field.Get your own shit together. Be clear on why you want to find your birth parents and what you want to do after you find them. Make an analytical (not emotional) decision about whether it’s better (for you, for them, for your adoptive parents) to find them or not find them, contact them or not contact them. If you contact them, have a list of the most important questions you want to ask ready, because you may get only one shot at asking. Start with simple questions first, like “Where your born?” and save emotionally loaded questions like, “Why did you abandon me?” for later or not at all.
Is it wrong for a grandchild to look for a birth grandparent, if the parent is not able to/can't/refuses?
First - add your details to the registries here http://www.isrr.net/ http://registry.adoption.com/ Check here for information - perhaps even contact for search help - http://www.originscanada.org/ Check here for other search help - and links to search angels - http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/ I wish you all the very best with the search. You don't need to have a reason - apart from wanting to know where your mother came from. She is part of who you are.
My parents found my birth control pills! Wat should i do, how can i EVER earn their trust back?
Why werent you just open with your parents beforehand?