How do I get over the fact my my dad molested me and my mom never did anything?
It is an extremely hard thing to do. In my situation, it was my mom choosing not to believe me about what my brother was doing to me. I’m 51 and aim still angry at her for her betrayal. A family member made the mistake of telling me I should forgive my brother for what he did. I’m normally a very easy going person, but I went off on the person who said this to me. I doubt he will say it again. Don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t have the right to be angry at your mom for not protecting you. That’s her job! A mother is supposed to put the safety and happiness of her child above all others. Both of our mothers failed us. If you can start seeing a therapist, I would suggest you do so. It helps having someone standing on the outside validating your struggles and what you endured. They can also give you coping mechanisms to help you deal with all of the crap you have to tote around from your abuse. I saw one for a while when I was in my 20’s, but had to stop due to my insurance no longer covering it. I started seeing another therapist and had my first appointment two weeks ago. I like her and feel comfortable and safe with her. That is very important in choosing a therapist. I hate having to fork out money to try to heal from something my jerk brother ,and mother, put me through. But I feel it’s the only way I will get my life back. I’m tired of never being present and and feeling unsafe all the time. I wish you the best, and hope you find someone who can help you through this.
Why can't I get over being molested?
No matter how many people say 'Get over it!" the sad fact is you will never be able to 'get over it." Sexual Abuse in any form can destroy a person and I know, out of my personal experiance what types of toles it will take on someone. I was sexually abused since I was like 2yrs old, and up until I was 6yrs old. When I was younger I would not even go outside of my own house to check the mail. I still have panic attacks in certain situations, but for the most part I just try to give the world the benefit of the doubt. Not everyone out there is here to hurt you. We have to keep believing that. It took me up until I was 14 years old to even accept the fact that I was S.A. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. Life's gotten a little better now that I have accepted that what happened was not my fault, and there was nothing that a two year old girl could do to stop the horrors of what she suffered. Everyone has to go through their "healing process" on their time. Keep fighting the battle. It's YOUR LIFE. That Monster is no longer watching you and waiting for you. Learn to trust and try VERY hard to keep in mind that not everyone is gonna hurt you. Breathe. Don't let that Idiot control what you do and stop you from doing VERY NORMAL things. Don't let him win. Good Luck Hun ; )
How do I overcome being molested?
So I never told really anybody especially in detail about this because to be honest I feel embaressed. I was in foster care when I was 4 and one of my foster care homes had an older boy about 15. I would share a room wih my sister and he would wake me up to go in his bed. I think this happened a few times.. And he would molest me and he taught me to masterbate. Thats why I feel so wmbaressed about this too. So ever since I was 6 I knew all about touching and I remember showing my sister and thiking nothing of it. So basically all through my life I knew about sex and latley I been thinking bout what happened and ts just so messed up. Im 17 now and I have had sex and enjoy it but latley I been just feling depressed, embaressed and scared about this whole thing. What should I do, I feel horrible about this.
Is it weird the fact i was molested never really bothered me?
Hi, No, you're not "messed up" for it not bothering you. But like you said, it does sound like you had a lot of trauma as a child. Many kids who grow up around physical, emotional, or sexual abuse develop coping mechanisms to survive. (Pardon the therapy words, but that's how we talk!) One of the most common of these coping mechanisms is to learn to "shut off" certain parts of our feelings. Kids do this instinctually. It's also called "self-preservation." The brain learns to not react to things like molestation, rape, or being beaten so that it can keep functioning and let you go about your life. So it is very common with children who have been abused, particularly children who were sexually abused. That being said, many people find that at some point in their teen/adult life, these things start to come up. Especially when they become sexually active or enter into their first real intimate relationships. This might or might not happen for you. It just depends on the person. You can see that even though you and your sister grew up in the same home and had the same molestation occur at the same time, you don't feel affected but she does. These are the mysteries in psychology! It is not uncommon though for the older child from an abusive home to take on the "leader" role and to become slightly more shut down. Anyway, I hope that you continue to feel okay with everything. If it all comes up at some point, I would urge you to seek help like counseling or therapy. Just to be able to get it out. But if it doesn't come up, then enjoy life. You are a survivor and there are many children who could use you as a role model, simply for still being alive. In the meantime, you may want to try to be there for your sister (if you two are close). My younger sister and I were both raped at the same age (but we are 6 years apart) and I was the only person she could talk to about it. She was much more shaken than I was when I was raped and it felt good to try and help her through it. To draw on my experience as an adult to comfort her. Good luck with everything!
What is the difference between being groped and being molested?
I always thought being groped and being molested are generally the same thing. In fact, I rarely hear anyone say "I was groped!" If the meanings are clearly different, whats the simple examples of a situation where you can use one, but not the other?
How might someone get over being molested by a pedophile?
Thank you for asking this question! It reflects a question echoed by far too many people. And thank you Beverly for your vulnerable response. I have worked with victims of childhood sex abuse for 14 years and there is good news, bad news. The bad news: because like Beverly said, this abuse impacts all areas of life, it takes a lot of hard work to overcome. The good news: you CAN overcome it! The abuse leaves a blueprint of belief systems and coping mechanisms that have to be identified and changed. A victim believes lies about themselves, their world, what love is, etc, and the journey to overcome the impact requires changing these beliefs. I have absolutely found that someone can be restored to all they were created capable of being. Reconnecting to authentic identity and not accepting any other label or identity is the answer. The fact that you were abused will not go away, however, the impact of it can. Here is a starting concept for you: Identify where you have placed your personal power by looking for "power of agreements." An example: most victims carry a sense of shame. If you agree with the thought that you are shame, and not the perpetrator, you are agreeing with it. Until you break the power of agreeing with that statement, you will struggle to move beyond it. Shift the statement - "the perpetrator carries the shame, not me", even if you don't believe it in the moment. This creates space for you to receive the truth of your value!