How Do You Get Anything Done With A Baby Around

How do I tell my wife she's lazy and doesn't get anything done around the house?

My husband God rest his soul, told me and never said a word. He was a Marine, from a Marine family 2nd of 5 children. I thought I was doing good. I cleaned the house my way, and made dinner, and went shopping with my Mom and got home around 10pm. He was sleeping. The house looked wonderful, I said to myself you did a lot better job than you thought.I went to the closet to get my PJ’s Ahhh There was a pile of stuff 4 feet high in front of the closet door.What's this I whispered. Everything you missed cleaning he said, just come to bed you don’t need PJ’s.I cleaned it up in the morning, and vowed to do better. I thought if he pays the bills like I clean we will be homeless.Maybe your wife just needs her standards elevated. If you do your jobs with care and throughness and point that out and she doesn't respond, talk to her parents.

What is the grossest thing your child has ever done?

I have 2 daughters and at the time of this incident I was also helping raise my step daughter. At the time they were ages 4,5, and 6. as I'm sitting on the back porch my oldest daughter runs out the door and comes over to me bawling her eyes out. Of course I asked her what's wrong and she immediately tells me that her two sisters will need to be punished. So of course I asked what they did. Never did I ever imagine the response that she gave. She told me one of the girls had rubbed a bar of soap in her butt crack and then “made her” smell it. I honestly didn't even know what to say. So I call my other two daughters out onto the porch to hear their side of the story. Apparently they had told my oldest daughter that the soap had been rubbed on a butt and that they wanted her to smell it. So she did! And then I guess when the soap did actually smell like but she realized they weren't joking and came out complaining to me and crying. Of course the first thing I asked her was if they told you it smelled like butt and was, in fact, in a butt crack, then why did you smell it? Well she just paused for a second, and it looked like she was really thinking, then let out the loudest wail and said “I don't know!” I didn't really know what to do in this situation except for laugh. I had to have a talk with my two youngest that day about what is and is not an appropriate way to prank your older sister. and I also had to have a talk with my oldest daughter that day about decision making skills. Cuz I'm just saying if somebody told me something smelled like butt I'm definitely not going to sniff it. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that they told her it was up against somebody's butt crack and the kid still decided to smell it.

What are some of the crazy first-time-parent things you've done for your first born that you did not subsequently do for the next one(s)?

Oh I can think of so many, but the first two that come to mind are:Baby #1 - spend last six months of pregnancy shopping for every conceivable baby gizmo and end up with a garage full of crap.  Read every baby book published.  Join every online baby/new mother's group I can find.    Baby #2 - pull only bare essential stuff (bassinette, swing, bouncie seat, a few toys, etc.) out of garage.   Baby #3 - business as usual until a week before due date when I go to grocery to buy diapers. Pull bassinette out of garage. That is the extent of my preparation.  At about 9 months he expresses a preference for sleeping in the large open drawers under his sister's bunk bed, so basinette goes back in the garage and there he sleeps for the next year or so.  Also, life does not revolve around Baby #3 - his "nap time" is catch as catch can as I have him in the car chauffeuring the older kids around.  Of course with Baby 1, and to a lesser extent Baby 2, they had strict nap schedules that were sacred.Child #1 will NOT see a PG 13 movie before age 13 or an R movie before age 17.  Child #2 - well, it depends, I'll read about why they have those ratings and how close he is to those ages and then decide.  Child #3 - well, his age doesn't really matter, he will see a PG 13 or R movie when the rest of the family wants to see one. No detrimental effects either.

My wife doesn’t do anything around the house and leaves everything up to me. I have to spend tremendous energy cleaning up after her. I am all for equality but this is unfair. How do I deal with my lazy wife?

My friend...first sympathy for you and not a great situation to be in.  I assume she does not have a job, nor contributes to the income of the family. Instead she stays home and gets depressed (try it for a few days...it sucks). If there is a possibility she is severely depressed, you may haven't recognized.  In addition, her passive resistance is to be a lazy and messy wife is part of the equation since you get to go to work all day.So here is what you do...1. Do not plan on any more kids !!!!!!2. Take a few days off and spend with her (mental reconnaissance) 3. Collect information on all her habits and behaviours4. Will assume she is also not drinking (hope not)5. Take all the information to a professional psychologist6. Make a big decision can you fix the problem with getting her helpSeveral people wrote the same thing...depression, get her some help! Eventually she can move into a part time job to get out of the home or volunteer work.  PLEASE do not think more kids will fix the problem...it only makes it worse!You are taking a positive step...Good Luck!

How does a schizoid feel when there are babies around, crying and making too much noise?

I need to preface this answer with a fair warning: I really, really dislike children. I have no maternal instinct whatsoever, I don't find them “cute”, and I certainly don't want to have any of my own. Which is likely a good thing.With that being said, babies cry. That's just what they do, no matter how much it makes me (and everyone else around) uncomfortable, because they have no other means of communicating. It's the parents my irritation will be directed towards if they aren't doing anything to silence their screeching offspring or purposely create situations that will result in crying. For example, I am of the opinion that small babies shouldn't be taken to the movies; it's loud, dark, hot, with a lot of flashing lights, a recipe for a distressed (read: crying) baby. It's simply common sense.My tolerance to loud sounds drops significantly when the child is old enough to understand that there are other ways to communicate or behave. I don't do well with toddlers in particular because of this, as they are going through a rebellious stage and are prone to temper tantrums and general acting out. Again, my irritation often goes towards parents who are allowing such behavior as much as, if not more, than towards the children themselves.