Why would a birth mother not want to be reunited with the child she gave up for adoption?
I can answer as a birth mother. I had a daughter in 1967 and a son in 1968. I gave them both up for adoption because I was not ready to be a mother. I thought sex equaled love and I was looking for love. I found out too late that I was wrong. I was too immature to raise a child, not financially able to raise a child and I had no clue what to do about it. I decided to give my children up for adoption because it was the best option for them.My daughter was adopted by friends of a friend so I knew her name and that the couple would be returning to Chicago from CA, where the man was stationed in the Army. After about 40 years I decided to try to see if she was on Facebook. I found her there and sent her an e-mail telling her about me and the situation and that if she wanted to contact me it is OK. I would give her the health information about my family if she needed it.I turned out that she was never told she was adopted. She always knew she was different from her parents. They had dark straight hair; she had reddish curly hair. There were other hints as well. So it was pretty much a shock to her to hear about me. I left it up to her what contact we would have because I didn’t want to make her life hard for her. We keep in touch infrequently by Facebook. It turns out she likes a lot of the same things that I do and that is a thrill for me.She seems to be very happy in her life and I don’t want to make waves for her so I don’t push for any other contact with her. I don’t want to make her life difficult just so I can ease my conscience. I feel I did the right thing by allowing this couple who couldn’t have a child a child naturally take mine.My son was adopted through an agency so I know nothing about him at all. I sometimes think about contacting the agency, but I don’t think they are open anymore. Then I think that I might be the same situation; that he may not have been told he was adopted and I don’t want to make it difficult for him. I know I gave him more of an opportunity to be raised better and always hope that was the case, but I doubt that I will ever know for sure. And I am OK with that.EDIT: My son contacted me last week and he is very glad that he was brought up by the people who adopted him. Yay! Two for two.
If your grandfather had a child with another woman (not your grandmother), what would the child be called?
It is interesting that the other two answers assume that the grandfather and the other woman were not married. Perhaps that was the intention of the question. Nevertheless, that person would be your aunt/uncle.In polygamous societies this is quite common.In previous generations, people were married multiple times, as life expectancy was not what it is today. My wife and I are into genealogical research and find many examples of second and third marriages. For instance a woman might die in childbirth, the widower might marry a sister in law. She would become the mother of her decreased sister's children (as many as 8 in one documented case) and then go on to have another four or five of her own.Another example: My grandfather was born in 1874 (not an error). His first wife and two children died in the winter during the late 1890s leaving him with an infant son, who was raised by him and my great grandmother. Nearly 30 years elapsed and he met an married my grandmother in 1923 who subsequently gave birth to my mother in 1924.With the advent of popular DNA testing we read about "indiscretions" being discovered all the time. I did one of those tests and got hits on possible 3rd, 4th and 5th cousins all over Europe and North America. Some of us have been in contact but cannot for the life of us figure out how or why we may be related. So, I suppose some of our ggg grands were just as randy as youngsters today.
They call a father-less child a bastard. what do they call a mother-less child?
That sounds like the blond that when the Doctor told her she was pregnant, she asked him if he is sure that she is the mother
Could a (birth) mother ever forget about the child whom she gave up for adoption?
My wife was adopted, and she had no interest at all in finding her birth mother, even when she found her birth mother’s name in the adoption records that she found after her adoptive mother passed away. Her birth mother made no attempt to contact her.I was a Labor and Deliver nurse. I once cared for a woman who had been gang-raped by some bikers. She chose adoption because she feared that her baby would be a daily reminder of her brutal rape. She spent two days with the baby, signed the adoption papers and was discharged. The baby had to stay an extra day because its bilirubin was elevated. Twenty-four hours later, the mother came back to the hospital, cancelled the adoption and took her baby home.We once got a transfer from a remote rural hospital of a woman who presented to their ER saying that she had appendicitis. The ER Dr. examined her and asked her when her baby was due. She said, “What do you mean? I’m not married.” The Dr. said, “Married or not, you’re pregnant.” She said, “That’s not possible. I’m a virgin.” Because he didn’t know if the baby was premature, and his hospital didn’t have a Level III nursery, he transferred her to our hospital, which is the Regional Perinatal Referral Center.She maintained that she wasn’t pregnant, and had an explanation for all her symptoms. Her stomach was enlarged because she had “gained a lot of weight recently.” The fact that you could readily see the baby move was explained away as “I’ve had the worst gas for the last few months.” She continued to deny the pregnancy until she delivered.It later turned out that she was a preacher’s daughter. Right after high school, she started working as a secretary at the real estate office of a family friend. Her married employer seduced her. When he determined that she was pregnant, he promptly fired her. She went into full denial mode and hid the pregnancy from her parents. Her parents begged her to keep the baby, but she gave it up for adoption. When we discharged her she said, “I just want to forget that this ever happened.”
What would I call my mother's cousin?
Let's call her Alice.In most English-speaking countries, if Alice is your mother's first cousin, then she's your first cousin once removed.In the chart below, you are the "Person" in the top box in the left-hand column. Above and to the right of that is the box for your parents. If you go from your parents' box two columns to the right, that box contains your parents' first cousins. As you can see, your parents' first cousins, including Alice, are your first cousins once removed.Now go straight up to the top of that column. Those are your great grandparents, but they are Alice's grandparents. There's a slippage of one generation, so we say "once removed."Source: ConsanguinityThe relationship is reciprocal, so if Alice is your first cousin once removed, then you are also Alice's first cousin once removed.To see how that works, start at "Person" and go over two columns. Those are your own first cousins, the children of your aunts and uncles. If you go down one row from there, that box also contains your first cousins once removed. (Or it will, if and when your first cousins have kids.) That is, they are great grandchildren of your grandparents, just as you are the great grandchild of Alice's grandparentsGot it? The language is strange, but it's a very logical system.However, "first cousin once removed" is a mouthful. In many families, any collateral female relative would be called either "cousin" or "aunt," usually depending on the age gap, not the actual relationship. So you would call Alice "cousin Alice" or "Aunt Alice," or maybe just "Alice" if you have an informal family or if Alice is much younger than your mother.But the best answer of all is: ask your mother!
How do I convince my spiteful ex to contact me so I can negotiate child support?
My ex in another state has not let me see my daughter in 7 yrs. I have no idea why. She never told me.( Likely from being rejected) I was recently dragged into court for child support and got her home address and work phone. I left 2 messages at work and she hasnt called me back. She hung up on me last time I tried calling 7 years ago. They are now garnishing over $115 a week from my $600 week gross salary for support! My problem is, the courts suspended my passport because I owe over $27,000 in back support. I can never pay that back and also pay current support. I have fallen in love with a woman who lives out of the country and we have never met as all we can do is talk by phone or e-mail. I probably want to marry her. I am insane about her. The courts tell me if my daughters mother forgives the past due arrears, they will wipe it off and give my passport back. I have only the mothers home address in which to write a letter. How do i convince her to forgive my past debt?
My children call another woman mom and it drives me nuts, what should I do?
If she knows it bothers you she will continue to request/make your kids call her mom. So fine, show her it doesn't matter to you. Does calling something by another name make it that new name? If I called your car your home would you be homeless?This is not about you. To the other woman it is, but it can't be about you to yourself. Why? If she is a controlling freak and your kids are stuck with her better they all get along. So do little things to make it better for your kids. Do they like her? Great. Sit them down before they go over to their dad's and say draw momma x and daddy Y a picture. Have old candy laying around unopened and not outside the expiration date? Let them take it to her. Heck if you are like me, you'll get a kick out of her expanding hips. Bonus, it will blow her mind that you are being nice to her.See the thing is kids grow up. They remember the adult who put them first in the divorce battles, and believe it or not at 8 and 10 they will remember who put them first and who was a controlling bitch who asserted her authority and made their lives hell — and who protected them and made their lives easier.Don't even mention her or the dad unless it's positive. Don't put the kids in the middle. Don't solve it with the dad cuz he will tell her. If they call her mom in front of you, gently say, “I am mom. Please call your stepmother, “momma x or mommy z or mom w, or mother k. Etc” Whatever they are using but with her initial after it. If they ask why simply say, “so everyone knows who you are talking about honey. Everyone has their own name right? While when you are at my house I'm mom and girlfriend is mom x.”Then leave it alone. No one can take your role of mom away, and she is a fool if she is trying. But . . . this is about your kids not you. They have to be with her, so let them decide (or her decide) what they call her when at her house. Then you be mom at your house. Trust me. . .you are mom and always will be and they need your support to deal with this bitch now. They don't need you to make it worse because you are their only mom. The kids know that. Let this go.I am so sorry this is happening to you. Bitches suck sometimes.