How do I deal with two-faced people at the workplace?
The way that I deal with 2 faced people at work is to say hello or good morning to them and leave it at that, I have nothing more to do with them.Their lives are shit and that is why they are 2 faced towards you. By slagging you off it makes them feel good for about 2 seconds but, as it’s short lived, they have to repeat it or move on to somebody else.People like that are best avoided at all costs, they will never be happy and if they’re not bad mouthing you they will be bad mouthing someone else and I find that shit deplorable. I would rather spend my working day alone than get involved with that shit.
How can I identify two–faced people?
Two-faced people are manipulators. There betray some very telltale signs -A manipulative person is self-seeking, pure and simple. He thinks only of his objectives, he considers no method wrong when it is the question of getting what he wants. He doesn’t care much about ethics/morals/gratitude/loyalty. He doesn’t have emotions for others. He is also sweet, a good talker and cool person. He is selfish. For him, ends justify the means. If he has to trample upon others to achieve his goals he thinks it is just fine. He lies conveniently and can build a wall of lies that can last a long time. He is better than an average lier.Traits of a manipulatorA person fakes goodness just to manipulate you. How can you uncover a manipulative person?Manipulators are soft spoken.They never lose their composure.When they speak to you, they are all sweetness.They bring in all sorts of tangential points to confuse you and thus blunt your thinking mind.They have ready answers to all your doubts & questions.They magnify the potential advantages to you. Actually they make you feel gaining everything and they, losing to you.They can argue in such a way to put your words back in your mouth without you realizing it.After the event, you look back and find nothing gained except being taken for a ride.They talk as if they were living exclusively for your benefit.When you seek some help or other, they cry a lot. Then they explain their inability so eloquently that you come away feeling extremely sad for hurting them.You can’t catch them in one incident, you will have to keep track of how many times you ended up with empty hands, after you had been dealt with.Now, you can see what are the above attributes applicable to you. I strongly suggest you read the books - Progress of Julius and The Turncoat (Dahpne Du Maurier)
How do you deal with a two faced coworker/friend?
First mistake, your coworkers are not your friends. You let your guard down and made an assumption that because you instantly “clicked” . Your co-workers should not get the same treatment as the people in your personal life. They are your partners in work and getting tasks done. You could stoop to her level and act like a brat but that would not make you any better. What you can do is either address it directly or just begin to lessen your interact with this person. You can be the professional you were hired to be and ignore what ever mindless banter she may have. It is petty and if you get caught up in playing games it is a never ending scenario and next thing you know you are unhappy and want to look for another job because someone is immature. Please, I would not waste my time or energy on that. Now you know her true character, move on and focus on your new job. You do not have to be BFFs, you just have to work together - limit your interaction to that and may be take your time to see how people are before you jump into this so-called friendship zone. Welcome to office politics by the way. You are in for an early start.Good Luck !Tori Camille's answer to Should you stop trying to be friends with your coworkers if they have already ganged up on you?
How do I react when people talk behind my back?
Here are a few ideas -Plug in your earphones. Squint your eyes and like a ninja, quickly glance left and right. When no one is looking, discreetly turn down the volume to zero. You’re a sneaky little devil, aren’t you? Crafty too! Everybody around you thinks that you’re listening to music. That you can’t hear what they’re saying. So, they’ll immediately start bitching about you. But you, like a pro ninja, would be listening to every word they utter. Every ten seconds, start headbanging or swaying your shoulders to further enhance the illusion.Buy a cell phone. Actually, buy a hundred cellphones. Turn on their voice recorders. Then visit the homes of all your friends and relatives who you suspect bitch about you behind your back. Ask them for a glass of water. Wow! You’re a master spy. James Bond would be so jealous of your moves right now. When they go to the kitchen, plant a cell phone under their dining room table, ’coz… u know… dining room is where the bitching takes place. If you want to be on the safe side, plant a cellphone in every room of their house. Boy! you’re gonna need a lot of cell phones.Ask your tailor to sew a microphone in the back of your every t-shirt. Develop a machine learning algorithm to analyze the data that your microphones collect throughout the day and identify the most bitchy bitchers. Sell that algorithm to Google for a billion dollars. Retire and spend the rest of your days in Hawaii, basking in the sun on sandy beaches, sipping virgin Mojitos and bitching about your old friends.Or you could… you know… just stop giving a fuck!
How can I deal with two-faced coworkers at all times?
I had many such colleagues who loved playing political games. Over my 12 years of corporate experience, I devised my strategies of dealing with them. I have a character “Mr. Netaji” in my book “Corporate Avatars” where i describe this quirk and how we all can deal with these personalities.Excerpt from the book:Mr. Sadhu feels his new colleague Mr. Netaji is on a secret mission. Mission: Bring Sadhu down.He keeps Sadhu out of the loop on a lot of important information and then makes a fool of Sadhu during the meeting. Mr. Netaji speaks positively to Sadhu when the two of them are alone. But in meetings with the boss, he never seems to agree with Sadhu. If Sadhu discusses a solution with Mr. Netaji, before he knows, Mr. Netaji has presented the solution to the boss as his brainchild. Taking credit for someone else’s work is Netaji’s innate personality trait.
How would you deal with passive aggressive and "two faced" co-workers in a professional work environment?
I would say deal with them the same way you deal with anyone who has proven themseleves to be untrustworthy, speak carefully and keep a good distance.Assume that any information you tell them will be shared with other coworkers and/or higher ups and always assume that their agenda is likely to disservice you in some way.And finally after you've seen who they are, smile, do your work, mind your business and enjoy yourself ; don’t let them keep you from being happy at your job ;)
MEN: How do you do with a mouthy wife?
I am a woman but hopefully you will be okay with me answering as I may have some insight for you. I noticed you mentioned both your ages, which usually doesn't matter to most married couples...meaning (reading between the lines so to speak) you may be implying that the fact she is older than you, may have something to do with her need to dominate you in conversation and do the whole "all men are evil" routine. This may be partially true..only because since she is older, she may have been burned or seriously hurt in the past by someone. While you being much younger may not have gone through as many relationship woes as she may have and overall posess happier pain free heart. She may see herself as the leader in the relationship since she is older than you. Obviously this is no excuse for her weird behavior...but violence is not the answer either. Her off behavior is indicative of something a little deeper and your goal is to figure out what it is. Is it an insecurity from a past relationship? Are you not spending enough time with her and asking her about her day? Are you not going out on dates? Is your sex life diminishing? Women are masters at being pissy without actually admitting what it is that is actually bothering us. For example, I used to make the mistake of getting mad at my fiance when he would become distant with me and not ask me about my day or how I am doing and just talk about himself and his day and zone out when I tried to talk about mine. BUT instead of me just telling him what was bothering me, I would just flip out on him about the house not being clean and all his messes around the house and it would lead to him being equally mad at me for my pissy behavior because he didn't understand what I was really mad about in the first place! Sounds complicated right? Yep that's women in a nutshell. Just like I expected my fiance to read between the lines about why I was truly mad, my fiance thought my bitchy behavior was coming out of nowhere. Probably a similar situation with you and your wife. Try to think about things that could REALLY be bothering her and then open up the lines of communication with her when she is not in a horrible mood. Don't say anything in an accusing tone, just a simple "hey hunny I noticed you've been down lately, is everything okay?" will work.
As a teacher, how do you deal with constant bad-mouthing from students?
This may not be the answer you want to hear, but you may want to look for a teaching job at a different school. I know that just about every teacher's first year was bad, but mine was really a nightmare...I cried in my office every day b/c I hated my life! I even wondered if I made the right career choice. I got a new job in a different district, and I now love my job, and my students (most of the time)! I had my doubts about my classroom management skills (which have improved exponentially), and did not feel like I was very effective. Once I got into a school, district, and community that was a better fit for me, I felt much better and am now realizing my potential as a teacher. Perhaps a better teacher than I could have really thrived in the situation I was faced with my first year, but being a first year teacher, I did not have the tools to make it work. I, too, and an emotional and sensitive person, so I understand how you feel. When I got overwhelmed my first year, sometimes I had to take a moment to remove myself from the situation to let out a string of curses under my breath, and then I could re-enter the situation with a calm demeanor. Even now, when students start to get to me, I'll take a moment to take some deep breaths to compose myself. The comment you got about not taking it personally is very true, and very important to keep in mind. Much of the time when students are acting out, it has little to do with you as a person, or even as a teacher. There are other aspects of this kid's life that are manifesting themselves as this bad behavior. Try to remember that and let it roll off your back. Ignoring the comments is a good idea - ignoring the behavior is not. Be sure to punish the behavior and take care of that as soon as you can. If students see that you don't tolerate the poor behavior, they will be less inclined to act that way, and these moments will occur less frequently. Good luck!