How do I deal with strict Asian parents?
When we’re young and naive, we tend to demonize or worship our parents. They’re the center of our world. If you do this, you can fall prey to falling to the opposite extreme of a behavior to “be nothing like my father and mother.” The issue is that extremes are often two sides of a coin to the same dysfunction.Having no emotion and all logic because your father had anger management issues is just another disservice to your child. Dr. Robert Glover’s book, No More Mr. Nice Guy, breaks this down well.In reality, like most people or objects, there’s good and bad parts. We live in a world of grey.Avoid getting overtaken by confirmation bias, where you only look for what you want to see. If you catch yourself with a growing sense of hatred for someone or even your culture, stop. Identify the good you’re forgetting.Here are some more action steps you can take right now to think more positively and move towards a brighter future:1. Surround yourself with successIt’s simple yet so effective. I still have negative thoughts that clearly came from a specific person I hung around years ago. How do I know? Because he was the only one who thought in such a way. As you can see, who you surround yourself with can influence how you think for years to come.2. Commit to a positive attitude NOWSome of us are truly born with a higher genetic inclination to be negative. Now that you realize it, you can choose to have a positive attitude and stomp out negative thoughts as soon as you notice them.3. Change your attitudeSay phrases like this at least 10 times a day: “I am an awesome, positive individual.” and “I am in control of my destiny and I decide where I am headed.”I found that saying these phrases while you look at yourself (through the eyes) in a mirror helps, especially with self-esteem boosting affirmations.4. Therapy is goldenGet some therapy. Group therapy is an affordable alternative.
How do you get your Asian parents to be less strict?
Well, my parents became less strict when my dad started to get sick from a heart condition and it gradually got worse. But, I guess you can't wish for one of your parents to get sick all of a sudden. My parents let me walk home to and from school and I'm like 15 minutes away from the middle and high school I went to. Maybe the neighborhood you live in is dangerous and that's why they won't allow you to walk to school on your own. Who knows. Did you ever ask them why they do the things that they do? And give them a reason to let go of some of the control they have over you? Maybe you should tell them that sheltering you isn't going to make you a good student when you go to college and you are overwhelmed with the social circle you have to encounter (eventually). You should also tell them getting straight A's isn't going to guarantee you a good college if you are not able to do any extracurricular activities such as those school field trips. I mean, you should ask them what will happen when you are required to have an extracurricular activity in your school? Are they going still going to say no even if its required but its only an extracurricular activity? If they are doing all this to get you to college, you've got to tell them to lay off sheltering you so much, otherwise you won't be able to handle college independently.
Asian Parents.....Your thoughts?
I always wondered about what makes Asian parents tick. I had strict Asian parents who wanted me to follow their dreams. I always dreamed of working in Finance and Investment Banking. My parents however, wanted me to work in the Pharmaceutical/medical field. I don't really like science or my job. Now I have a mortgage and bills to pay so I can't change my career. I hate it and now stuck with a career I didn't want. In college, my parents didn't want me to join a fraternity and enjoy college. All they cared about was getting a degree. So much for college fun. Didn't really get to enjoy the best years of my life more. I also didn't get to go to the college of my choice. My parents wanted me to go to a really boring school that I hated. They threatened not to support me in school unless I went to the school of their choice. I struggled academically but was stressed out too much. I guess my parents got what they wanted but I didn't. Do you have a similar experience?
My asian parents won't let me date until 18?!?
Lols. my Mom is the exact same way. shes korean~ ughh i can definately relate. I had A LOT of convincing to do. She was paranoid and even showed me random things about rape and online dating. i knew the guys and stuff but she still didn't believe me. So here's what you should do. -If the guy really likes you, he'll be willing to meet your parents. Tell your parents that he wants to meet them and that way, if he makes a good impression, your parents might trust him a little. -group dates arent that bad. -TRY to understand. As a parent, they SHOULD be worried and overprotected or ...well they wouldn't be very good parents. my mom said college....not 18.. Listen to what they have to say. DO NOT TALK BACK. It will get them frustrated. Respect your parents. -Talk good about the guy.(does he go to church? does well in school?) -Relate to them. Ask when they dated. Thats kind of challenging them and comparing whats fair and unfair. They probably had parents like that to or have bad experiences. -Beg -If all else fails, go numb and become lifeless. Act different and start worrying them. It worked for me. If my mom asked me a favor, i would dully say yes and avoid eye contact and conversations. Like ...an introvert. -12 is still young though. Thats my opinion, but its your life. maybe give it a year or two. I started dating...well high school.
What is the best way to deal with nagging Asian parents?
I wish I knew the answer to this. God, you have no idea how annoying they can get. Be silent and listen to them, even though it’s quite nerve wrecking Just try not to back-answer them because you’ll end up listening to more advises and more shit. Or just don’t say anything, I think you might understand what I mean:“Have you ever felt this way? During meals, when you try coming up with a conversation with your parents about something and no matter how much you try, they end up confusing your mind and start talking about stuff LIKE ‘You have to study hard to get more salary. You don't want to end up like the Poor person {Whoever you like and who's got a bad reputation for being an average student or a bad kid}’ or ‘Don't get a boyfriend. If you do, we'll get you married by 20. And after that, true hell starts.’ or ‘I hope you become thin and fit like her {Turning all your loved best friends into "ugh" bitches}’ or when they start complaining about your past mistakes even though you consider the mistakes you did during 2016 as BILLIONS OF YEAR AGO! That's why I come up with an excuse to be alone and stay away from parental talks. Parental talks are good, but listening to them talk about the same GODDAMN thing from Class 4 like 9624937699838 TIMES... NO. Sorry. By the way, I completely forgot about what I asked! Have you ever felt this way?”
Controlling Asian Parents?
I have always wondered if I was the only Asian person with this issue. It seems as though a lot of Asian parents put a lot of pressure on their children to get good grades, graduate from college and have prestigeous careers. All of which are good things, but it seems as though a lot of these parents are living their dreams through their children. As a teenager my mother pushed me to go to a top knotch public university. I wanted to go elsewhere but my mother wanted to hear none of that and thus I was unhappy with my choice of college. Like many asians my mother pushed me to work in the Biotech/Medical field. My dream was to work in finance, however, it was not my parents dream for me. At this point I'm unhappy with my career and look back and wishI had done things differently in the past. I know my asian friends have parents that wanted them to either be doctors or lawyers. Many of them are unhappy with careers they really didn't want. Do you have a similar experience?
How do I convince my asian parents to get me a dog?
If your father says that he can't even manage all the people in the house, how do you expect him to put up with a dog under foot all the time? And a dog is a huge investment in both money and time. A single dog can cost your family thousands of dollars a year if they get sick or injured, or you decide to breed them and something goes wrong. When a dog moves into a household, it becomes part of the family. A minor person can not own a dog. But once you are out on your own, have your own place, you can have as many dogs as is legal and you can afford to care for properly. If you want to spend time now with dogs, and learn to work with them - then why not volunteer (if of age to do so) with your local humane society or dog rescue group / shelter? There is always a need for people to walk and groom dogs, and help around the kennels. You can make a big difference in the lives of dogs in need while getting your doggy fix.
How to tell Asian parents about bad report card?
NOTE: don't tell me to man up or face it. PLEASE READ!! Okay so I got my report card today, and I'm scared to show my parents my report card. I'm a high school freshman, and I do admit that I slacked off a little for the last four years. My parents are already disappointed in me as it is. I told my mom already, but she was okay with it and just told me to work harder. I'm afraid to tell my dad because he's in some serious stress right now from some personal reasons and me. In elementary school, I was that typical smart Asian with straight A's. when I reached sixth grade, everything just went downhill. My attention span was pretty short and I was also forgetful -- hence, my failing math. Here are my report card grades if you want to see for yourself: English 1 L2 - D (my worst grade) American Civics L3 - C+ Algebra 1 L2 - B+ Phys/Earth/SP Science - C Latin 1 L3 - C Band L3 - C Walking For Fitness - 3 GPA for current quarter - 2.29 (asdfghjkl;) I did terrible! I really don't want to disappoint my dad or anger him by my grades. My dad is that typical strict Asian parents who wants me to have like only nerd friends - I have nothing against nerds btw - and focus on my studies with no social life whasoever (Maybe I'm exaggerating just a little). He's a first generation Viet. So, he's probably going to give me a long lecture about why he came to America blah blah (or not, he's not too too Asian). I know that I did bad, and I'm really trying to bring my grades up. Yes, I know high school determines where I go for college. I don't do sports or am in any clubs. So, help? Anyone with similar parents?