How do I deal with my promiscuous roommate?
My dorm room partner loves to bring random guys into our apartment at night. According to a third roommate, she's had seven boys in the eight days she's lived at college (though not necessarily all in our room). I realise that she's eighteen and perfectly within her right to do whatever she wants with whoever she wants as frequently as she wants, but how am I supposed to sleep with these sorts of interruptions? I'm a complete loser- I've never even had a boyfriend, let alone lost my virginity- so being reminded of my lack of a social life every time I try to sleep is a little disconcerting. At the same time, I can't exactly tell her to stop having fun. I have no intention whatsoever of joining her, and I'm worried that her reputation may translate over to me. Should I just learn to live with it? Should we work something out? What do you think?
Why do open relationships get such a bad reputation?
They contradict the prevailing narrative.From the time we’re in diapers, we’re bombarded with the same messages from thousands of sources—everything from TV shows to movies to books to advertisements for beauty cream. You will meet The One™. You can only love one person at a time. True love means never even looking at anyone else.This is an idea that is accepted without question by the majority of people in most societies. It’s an idea supported by religious organizations.When people who are in a traditional relationship break up, which is something that happens all the time, people don’t usually respond by saying “See? That proves monogamy doesn’t work. Look at how many monogamous relationships end!” But when people in an open relationship break up, everyone is quick to say “See? This proves open relationships don’t work.”People are also taught to be insecure. We’re bombarded by messages that tell us we aren’t rich enough, aren’t handsome enough, aren’t successful enough, aren’t pretty enough, aren’t good enough. This is profitable, of course; you can get people to buy your beauty cream or your watch if you convince them it will help them overcome their deficiencies. But it equips people very poorly to deal with their insecurities in a mature way.It doesn’t help that we’re also taught to look at jealousy with almost superstitious awe and fear, instead of seeing it as no more than an emotion like any other emotion. If someone says “I could never get into a relationship because what if I get angry?” we would think that’s pretty weird. People get angry, and they learn how to deal with their emotions. But we think it’s totally normal to say something like “I could never get in an open relationship, because what if I get jealous?” It’s like we’re taught that jealousy is somehow different from any other emotion; we can deal with all our emotions except jealousy.Successful open relationships do require high communication skills, willingness to be open and vulnerable, and good interpersonal skills, it is true. But here’s the thing: so do successful monogamous relationships! Open relationships may have higher penalties for folks who display poor relationship skills, but the skills you need for a successful open relationship aren’t really qualitatively different from the skills you need for a successful monogamous relationship.
Why is it that when a man sleeps with lots of women he is called a stud, but if a woman sleeps with lots of men she is called a slut?
In any traditional patriarchal society, access to vaginas is very tightly regulated. The issue is that the men want to be sure that their offspring really is their offspring and don’t want to be passing on their wealth/property to another man’s progeny. So access to women is restricted and an ideology of chastity as virtue is developed and preached. These attitudes over time become baked in the society and don’t just go away because women get access to the right to vote and higher education. So, in part, women are usually not promiscuous because they’re trained not to be.That said, part of the answer, as many have noted in their answers, it is easier for women to get laid. If you don’t believe me, go online whether on Craigslist or a dating website and post an ad or create a profile stating that you are a woman and you’re looking for no-strings attached sex. Now repeat the process as a man looking for the same thing and you will see the difference. I did this myself about a month ago. I created a female profile with a sexually suggestive picture. Mind you, the girl in my profile wasn’t looking for sex; she was looking for a relationship. She just happened to have a sexually suggestive picture and to have acknowledged on her profile that good sex was a good thing. I got 100 messages in about 6 hours. I don’t care how good you think you look as I guy, your access to sex is never going to be this easy unless you’re a celebrity. This is where the idea comes from that for a man to sleep with a hundred women is more of an accomplishment than for the reverse.
What the hell is wrong with teenage girls these days?
Now, before I get started, let me get one thing clear: I am a 14 year old boy and i am absolutely pissed off with adolescent girls nowadays. Their facebook walls cluttered with their self obsessed pictures with titles like: "ooo, i luk so ugly" followed by comments "no way u looks stunning/hawt/pretty" demonstrating the depth in their shallow minds. I can't really understand their mentality of thinking there will be help for anything: an exam or whatever. Then again, there are plenty of guys to give in and help them, thinking that they will win their girl's favor. And then comes there worst aspect: their immature concept of looking too good: low v necks, miniskirts, and shirts with cleavage showing abilities really puts me off. I mean if you have the looks, why do you need to flaunt it? And the question of their intelligence. Nope, there isn't any except for getting what they want. Don't get me wrong though, there are a few who seem to possess enough intelligence to know right from wrong, but otherwise: Sorry girls, i'm just not cool with you guys. To answerer: please tell me whether these views are correct or it's just me being too critical.