I have done an arranged marriage, but I am not happy. My parents and family say everything shall be alright after one gets married or when one has a child. I don't understand this or see any positive signs ahead. What are some suggestions?
I feel sorry for you#1. You are almost 30 and still you are not mature enough to make your own decision.#2. I have nothing against Arranged marriage but most of my friends who did arranged marriage are living in pressure. Most of them have a wonderful marriage and honeymoon and then maybe 2 months sex and then back to work and soon sharing and caring is with their old friends. They start spending more time with friends than their family.#3. Marriage - Is like a business or like a Project or like Research. If you want to be successful then you must spend Money or Time. You have to understand your wife.Biggest mistake is you married “a Stranger” . Your parents asked and you just pointed to a Stranger. Now you are married so try to understand her.#4. I had a Love Marriage and it is 100% successful. We are together for more than 7 years now plus the time we were in love. Love marriage is not like some idiot has written >50% will be failure. If it fails in India it is because people are not in love but in a “Want for sex”. Myself and my wife know what is true love. Once you have it…you will never ever want to split from your partner you will feel the pain and you will do anything to be together forever. We lost everything ( Money in Millions, Assets, Business) just because of a narrow minded society which did not let us live together as we were had an inter religious Marriage. We even had to runaway from the country just to live together. But we are happy. My wife is always there to support me and we build our life with just two suitcase to a good life by God’s grace. And it is damn good to live without relatives. And trust in God - If you ask me we are alive and I am typing this because Jesus Christ is there :)
How do I keep marriage life not boring?
If you think, you will feel the same as you felt the very first day, my friend you are totally wrong and irrational. We humans are made like this. We get bored with everything after a point of time. So the feelings which came when you held hands for the first time, will not be back. That is the fact, accept it because when you accept the reality of life, you can face it in a better way.BUT, life has different phases and each phase has its own gifts for you. Earlier when I used to watch movie with my wife, feelings were different and I enjoyed those. Now we are more connected, we love each other more, we have more things to discuss and we are more genuine. So this is a different phase and we enjoy this too. Earlier she was my wife, now she is my wife and best friend. Love is not always about cuddling ,hugging or kissing. Sometimes we just talk and that feels great. When you enjoy little things, they get bigger and you can find great happiness in those little things only.Here are some ways which will give you more happiness in marriage lifeWatch movies together. Not only in theaters but you can watch any movie or tv show or any video together on laptop or TV.Buy a video game. Girls are really mad for video games deep down. She may tell you, “ab video game khelne ki umar nahi hai” but believe me that will work. Play any two player game together and you will thank me.Behave like kids with each other sometimes. In the deep down we are still kids but when we grow older we deliberately kill our true self so as to behave what is socially acceptable. But sometimes we can be like kids with our partners. That gives an inner satisfaction and boosts our love towards our partner.
My love cum arranged marriage is not working. I can't live, can't die. What is the way out?
I think when there is no option of divorce than there is one thing left. For sometime period u both need to stay away from each other. May be you should get transferred somewhere.Regarding anger issue, i think if you talk her out and take her to some anger management classes than it would be good.Now trust issue. I think trust building takes time and since starting she has a problem with that. You need to talk to her. Right words at right time have lot of power. Try to convince her that, she is your soul mate and no matter how beautiful or charming the gal is, she can not take the attention and love you have for her but if she keeps on like this, offcrse still you will not pay heed to any girl but the happiness you feel with her will start vanishing completely and this relationship will be just in name.Now since both of you know divorce is no option so you will be caught in never ending hell. So its necessary to makes efforts from both side.Don't expect things will immediately turns out good. Keep your patience and calm. I am sure with time things will change.But most importantly don't stop communicating and try to build her trust.The day you find efforts for making this relationship work has sincerely started from both sides. Nothing can stop your relationship going sweet from sour.Good Luck !!!
What is the average 40yr old male sex drive (in age gap relationships)?
Hey! I am 19 and currently dating a 38 year old man and I had this concern for a short while as well. I do believe that the sex drive goes down when they hit anywhere from 35-40, BUT the diminishment of the sex drive has nothing to do with their ability to have sex. It just means that you will have to be the one to mention sex and turn him on. He isn't like an 18 year old boy with a stiff one all the time that has nothing else on his mind but sex. Older men have other things on their mind as well, so sex may not be their very first priority, but it will be if you do a few things to help get him thinking about it as well, like touching him while the two of you are driving home from the store, or buying a sexy outfit, or giving him a little strip tease and lap dance, especially oral sex. He will be just as involved as an 18 year old boy if you get him going, he just won't be the one to initiate it. Which is actually kind of a good thing for you because if there happens to be one night you DO NOT want to have sex because you are tired, he will go to bed just as quickly :) Hope this was at least a little helpful!
How is meditation helping me?
Hi, there are so many experiences that meditation offers but understand they come through you in wordless energy of appreciation and unconditional love.(Prayer is talking to God, meditation is listening)Do not worry about expecting results in a limited time frame. The essence of flowing source energy washes through every core of your being. Healing and enlightening. Sometimes unknowingly that energy clears away thoughts that do not serve you any more, thereby making space for new refreshing ideas and solutions to come through.Some sessions may seem less invigorating and sometimes you may feel a tingle run trough you, or slight cramping feeling between your eyes. Some even hear high pitched ringing but don’t assume or expect these sensations to happen in a limited time. Let it come based on your allowing the source of unconditional love to flow into you.You will, without doubt start to feel the effects of meditation, it’s up to you as to what extent you allow it. It gets easier and easier each time you feel the sweet nector of non-physical energy seep through. Enjoy!
How do I create love in the heart of my husband?
Love him. I'm not trying to be funny. Love him to death. But realize what true love is. And you have to love yourself first. You cannot truley love him, unless you truley love yourself first.Love is unconditional. Meaning of there are conditions for yourself, or your husband, then you do not love yourself, or your husband.Love is pure, honorable, perfect. And is truley is a powerful force. Many people try to love, with unpure intentions, if they get honest with themselves, they can see it is not true love.I suggest, highly suggest reading books of your choice to help with self love, and communication.What had been most helpful to me, as starter literature was Don Miguel Ruiz The Four Agreements. And anything about motivational interviewing can actually really help your communication. Clean up your end, and be patient and gentle with him. Work on your own perfect love first. And you might find a way to gently show him.
What one should do, if he is not happy in his married life?
Do this small experiment-Sit down, breathe deeply for 10 cycles with closed eyes. Open your eyes, feeling refreshed. Now, go back, close your eyes and put yourself on imagination mode.This is an attempt to get closer to yourself and find an answer within the questions that trouble you.Think of these-Who is your spouse? How did you meet him/her?How did it feel when you first smiled at each other?How did it feel when it was decided that you going to wed that person?What are the moments that you shared which made the experience seem like a fairy tale?What are the most positive things about your spouse?Are you both supportive of each other’s dreams and passions?Now, let’s get to the problematic areas of your marriage- What are the not so good traits of your spouse?If there are things about your spouse that you don’t really appreciate, why haven’t you spoke about them yet?If you feel uncomfortable talking to your spouse about the problematic stuff, why so? Is it because you are scared of the spouse OR is it because you are scared of hurting your spouse and the family members?If the last three questions are not that relevant, it only boils down to one reason why your marriage isn’t being the fun thing it was supposed to be- Some flavour and spice needs to be added to rejuvenate the relationship.If your problem goes down to the fact that your spouse makes you feel uncomfortable, then there is no point in a compromise. You either talk it out or keep it inside and let sorrow rule your day.If the problem is not related to certain negative qualities of your spouse, then it’s just a matter of spice and keeping your relationship flaming. Your relationship needs to stand the test of time. You may be there for each other emotionally but sexual needs cannot be discounted.Take a day off to go to a spa, feel fresh and take care of your body. Plan a surprise in that way for your spouse too. Once you are back from a relaxing spa session, watch a nice move or show together. It would be a great idea to watch something erotic together and then relive your moments through those scenes! And then, my friend, rest they say is going to be history!
How can we make married life blissful?
In the beginning every marriage is blissful. But maintaining that “bliss” is a challenge. Marriage gives you enough time together to unravel everything about each other, the good, the bad and the worst. You have to accept your partner for who he/she really is and cross all the hurdles that come your way together, for the rest of your lives. All this requires immense hard work, which mostly makes them tired and frustrated. For most of them, the happiness almost evaporates in this struggle.But marriages don’t always have to be like that. Little things can make them less of a struggle and more of a healthy partnership. Perhaps blissful too.1. Respect each otherBoth partners should respect each other at all times. In public, in private, during arguments, in stressful situations etc. Respecting your partner at all times assures them that no matter what happens, your relationship will never turn ugly. At least you will never resent each other. This gives a sense of security to both partners.2. Accept disagreementsSome disagreements are inevitable in a relationship. There will be times when partners are not able to reconcile the differences in opinions, no matter what. In that situation couples should not fight, argue or walk out. For a happy marriage, it is important to understand that disagreements are going to happen but you have to accept that and be civil about it.3. Have fun togetherHappy married couples have at least one hobby common. Doing fun activities together keeps both partners happy. Marriage should not always be about work and responsibilities. A little enjoyment together, like traveling, some sport or any indoor activities can keep a marriage healthy and happy.4. Don’t let go of intimacyWhen two people get married they get intensely intimate, physically and emotionally. But as they get more and more comfortable, they start drifting apart. This reduces that happiness in marriage that the couples once experienced. So it is very important for couples to remain intimate, even after years of marriage.5. Love your partnerThe last but the most important thing that keeps marriage blissful is, love. Love is the emotion that makes us want to be with a person despite their faults and flaws, through good and bad times. For marriage to happy, couple must not forget this emotion and continuously strive to rejuvenate it.