Is it OK for a husband to leave his wife alone at home and go on a trip with his friends for four days?
Its not right if she will be alone at home.But its okay as long as he convinces his wife to go out with her friends too and take some alone time for herself too. If a husband sincerely wants some time out with his friends, it's not a sin. But yes he has to convince his wife very sweetly for that because it's his responsibility. He might call her female friends and buy them some outing together to a good place when he will be with his friends. And he has to make his wife understand that he loves her and wants to be with her but sometime he wants his personal space. Society norms should change. A husband and wife can change the rules for their happiness. It's not that they should be dependent on each other always and will stick with each other every time for their relation to work.P.S. Don't include parents opinion please.
I feel bad when my husband goes out with his friends and come home late. What should I do?
I would talk to him. Don't nag him, just have a real, honest conversation about how it makes you feel. If he can't compromise (go out less or come home earlier), then you have to make a choice.One of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships is believing that someone should change for us. Your husband is an adult and is entitled to do what he wants (inside of the law of course) whether it makes you unhappy or not.Once you have let him know how you feel and what your expectations are, you have to accept his response at face value. Don't drive yourself and your husband nuts nagging and complaining. You have two choices and the sooner you make a decision, the easier it's going to be for everyone involved.You can accept the behavior. That means no more checking the clock at midnight, calling or texting, or complaining. You let it go. Maybe make some friends of your own who you can go out with. Just find something you enjoy doing during that time that doesn't involve your husband.Or you can decide this is the dealbreaker. If you can't live with his habit of staying out late, move on. I can assure you that making the break will be a lot less painful than sitting at home, night after night, wishing you have a relationship that you do not have. There are plenty of men in the world who will be happy to spend their evenings with you.Never waste your energy trying to change someone to suit you. It's fruitless and painful. Every man and woman is flawed. It's up to each individual person to decide which flaws are acceptable and which flaws are dealbreakers. Then you find someone who suits what you want.
Need Advice: My husband travels without me and drinks heavily when away?
The problem here, is that you're making yourself too available for him, while he's making himself unavailable for you. Simply put, you're too predictable and always "there". He would probably say that he knows you backwards and forwards and can read you like a book. He knows that no matter what he does or what he doesn't do, that you'll be there, answering the phone, waiting for the calls, doing your wifely duties. It's almost as if you're his mother and he's the little boy going out. You are "Ground Zero" and you're the stability of the marriage. You are "home base with the anchor", and another way to put it, is that you're the woman in the house and he is the cat that disappears for a few days and then comes back to the doorstep. That woman will always answer the door for that cat. You need to show yourself to be more busy, more occupied, more unavailable. He can 100% count on you answering his drunk phone calls at 2 in the morning, and he'll keep doing this because you're always accepting his calls and being there for him. I'm suggesting this, because you mentioned you don't know how to bring up the subject, in words, which would not get him all riled up and ready for battle. Don't say anything. Do something. If he were to call you and you didn't answer, I'm sure it would get his attention and he'd be wondering "gee, why isn't she picking up the phone?". When you start to behave differently, that will get his attention. If he wants to go out of town without you, then let him go, but don't be so available when he calls from out of town. This should trigger an alert within his head, that he's abandoned you for too long, and that something with you has changed. My best to you.
How reasonably soon can a husband leave his wife and newborn to travel if his job demands it?
Well, to rigorously answer this question: childbirth is physically traumatic to at least some degree, and I would think 2 days for a vaginal birth and 6 for a c-section would be the absolute minimum based on waiting until the mother is physically clearly out of any danger of complications.Beyond that, there's bonding. I would think at minimum 2 weeks before the shock of change wears off and bonding really begins. I think even if dad can compartmentalize and NOT think about travel during the first two weeks, his heart will break leaving his child at that point; but it depends on the urgency of travel and the degree not traveling is interfering with his ability to relax and be present with his family.After the shock, there's establishing routine. Rule of thumb: 6 weeks for a new routine, minimum. I would say after 6 weeks is the first reasonable time to take a quick trip assuming there's a close friend or relative of mom with her.Finally, there's maternal recovery and the baby's developing personhood. This could be anywhere between 3 months (the 4th trimeter) to 6 months. It depends on the baby sleeping and being healthy, and mom not having any complications (including postpartum depression). This would be the most comfortable time to resume travel if there's an option to wait this long - and assuming it's short trips and the parents had been used to it before the baby.
Is a married woman accepting drinks from men OK? If yes, is it OK for a married man to buy drinks for women?
I think it all depends on why they are buying if for her. If the scenario is that they are are interested in her single friends and offers to buy a round and she gets one by association than that is OK. If it was you buying it would signal that you are interested in other girls. However if they are buying directly for her then there is a big issue, no guy puts up cash for drinks for the good of his health
Is it ok for a husband or wife to go clubbing without the other?
do you think a woman has a right to tell her husband he is never allowed go clubbing with the boys again once he is married? i don't....we had this debate at work...some co-workers thought my husband and i are crazy to be ok with the fact that we go out seperately at times.....i know he probably gets hit on....i am not that stupid...just like he knows guys hit on me when i am out with my friends....thing is i trust him to know that even if a girl hits on him he will kindly say no thank you...tell her hes married and walk away...i do the same thing. We go out together about 80% of the time...but sometimes he can't make it out....or i can't........or we just simply want a night out with the girls or guys. Is this wrong ???? I don't think i am wrong ????do you trust your husband this much ????? it suprised me how many women in the office said "hell no my man isn't going out by himself."
My husband watches porn when he's out of the country on business trips or when I am not around, is that normal
He sounds like an honest guy. If he's away a lot on business and not with you at home, it's not a matter of being dissatisfied with you. It's just a matter of lack of opportunity! So porn is a relatively fun subsititute when the real thing isn't available. Try not to worry. His previous comments about porn being for marriages that were unhappy were a mistake. He was wrong about that, so don't hold him to it. He's not unhappy with you, and he doesn't wish he had other women instead of you. He just likes...women! Women in general, not just you. Don't panic, though. It's only natural for him to be attracted to other women, too. But he's not comparing you to them. It's the other way around actually. Other women might be virtually "perfect" in appearance, but even so, your husband is still sitting there wishing you were there with him. Get yourself a webcam. Dig out some sex toys and some sexy lingerie and make him his own personal porn flick starring you. Or try doing a live webcam session with him some night. Add yourself to his messenger client (Yahoo? MSN? AIM? ICQ?) and meet him online. Sort of the equivalent of donning a wig and meeting him in a bar pretending to be strangers. Take your time to set up the background so he doesn't recognize it. Wear a mask, or only show yourself from the neck down. Disguise any identifying features. Wear something new that he won't recognize. See how long it takes him to realize it's you. ;) What fun! When he's home, try watching some porn with him. Find stuff that you both find interesting and provocative. Try watching his type, and also try watching your type. Talk to one another about what you liked or didn't like about it. The best cure is good old fashioned conversation. Just stay calm and objective, and talk as though you were talking to anonymous strangers like us. Notice how easy it is to sum up the problem for complete strangers?: " I was so upset about it, but it wasn't the porn watching I was upset about. A long time ago, he once told me that a married guy who was looking for any sort of porn on the net was not happy with his marriage. My concerned about it was with what he said and what he had done when I was not around and thought to myself that he wasn't happy with me. " See? Not so hard. Just talk to him the same way you talk to us. Don't accuse, don't be defensive. Just talk. :) Best of luck to you.
Husband on business trip went to strip club?
This week my husband's job sent him and about 5 co workers (non of whom are married) on a trip for training. Last night was his first night there and when I got online this morning to check our bank account, like I do every morning, I saw some charges that looked "fishy" They said adult underneath them. So I googled the name of the place and it is a strip club! I really was not that upset at that point I had not talked to him since yesterday evening and he had told me they were going to the bar. I was totally fine with that, we have been married 7 years and he has never given me a reason not to trust him. So I decided I would wait until he called and see if he would just come out and tell me where he was. So he called and I asked how his night was, and he said ok, it was fun, but not great or anything. Then I asked him where he went and he said oh just a club that the other guys wanted to go to. So I finally just came out and said," you mean a strip club?" He was truthful and said yes and instantly was on the defensive. I know him well enough that I shouldn't worry, he didn't have much of choice they only have one car between them all, its not that big of a deal etc. He got mad at me for being upset with him! we didn't have much of chance to talk, since he had to get back to his class for training so I just quickly said bye and hung up. Part of me wants to call him this evening and give him a piece of my mind, and explain that I wasn't really mad until he didn't tell me and then got mad at me for calling him out on it. The other part of me thinks that I know I have a wonderful husband and maybe should just let it go. wait for him to call and go from there, trying to keep in mind that never once has he done something that would make me uncomfortable. I just don't know what to do! What would you do? I don't want to start something that could escalate into problems for us.
My boyfriend wants to travel with his best female friend. I can't because of constraints. Should I be okay with this?
I beg to differ from Franklin. All that talk about being confident in the face of insecurity is all great, but come on, everyone is insecure about different things in their life. Some about money, some about love, some about something else. Your question says it all. You are uncomfortable. Ask yourself why. There can be any number of reasons. a. Your boyfriend might be a perfect gentleman, and you are suspiciousb. Your boyfriend is an ok guy and you are suspicious.c. Your boyfriend is an ass and you are suspicious.d. Your boyfriend is a perfect gentleman and you are not suspicious, yet you are uncomfortable.e. Your boyfriend is an ok guy, and he cannot postpone his trip to fit you in.etc.. Even if your boyfriend is an a perfect gentleman, he should be respecting how you feel and you should be comfortable telling him. And he should come around hugging you and tell you, 'i didn't know you felt like this, don't worry, i will not do anything that can make you uncomfortable'. Or if it is still important to him, he will talk you through it and make you comfortable, maybe he will bring his female friend and talk to you too. Maybe he will postpone his trip so you can be fit in too. It is clear that you are not as friendly with his female friend. Now, if he is not respecting how you feel, then there's a problem. If you guys are in love, whatever be the scenario, you will respect how each other feels. If not, you should reevaluate the relationship.
Is it normal for my husband to go out every weekend?
My husband goes out every weekend and leaves me home with our one year old. Sometimes til 4 in the morning. We both work hard all week and I know it's important to go out once in a while with friends. But every single weekend? I've expressed how I felt about it but it goes ignored. I tell him all I want is more family time and more weekends with me and our daughter. I'm tired of fighting with about it what should I do?