If people think teen love isn't real, does that mean the past 4 years of my life has been fake?
I am 19 and my boyfriend is 21 and we have been together for 4 years and 3 months. I love him with all of my heart and we have been faithful to each other and it seems as if we fall deeper in love everyday. We have had hardships and trials but we have made it through them all. A few minutes ago I had a discussion with my parents telling me that what I am feeling is not love its infatuation and I don't know what love is because I haven't experienced life yet. And that I should date other people to see if I still feel the same afterward. I understand where she is coming from because I have no one to compare him to because he has really been my only boyfriend... but why would I look elsewhere when I am happy with him. Then she tells me that she was in love with every boyfriend she had as a teen and she even married and had two children by one of her teen loves but found out that she wasn't in love and that it was actually lust and she regretted falling into that trap and getting hurt in the end. Many relationships end up like that teen or not. There is someone for everyone and there is no designated age for everyone to find that special someone. Though there are a lot of naive teens that use the word love loosely and fall into traps, I don't feel like I am one. I am happy in my relationship. I cant even see my life without him. We have planned our futures around each others aspirations. I love him with not only my heart but with all of me! He lets me know how much he loves me not only in words daily but in his actions. He is my best friend, though we would love to be with each other 24-7, we respect each others space and time to avoid smothering. He treats me like a Queen! And we have such high regards for each other just as we do respect. So my answer to your question is Yes, teen love is possible, but because of inexperience and immaturity lust and infatuation is more prevalent in teen years. The reason people say no is because the is a lot more life to live and the are a lot of men in the world that may catch your eye and make you have a change of heart, vice verse. Don't expect a fairytale, expect reality. You may or may not be together forever- anything is possible.
My husband physically beats and kicks me every-time.....How do I deal with him?
I am a 33 yr old software engineer with a 6 yr old child .My husband a software engineer too from the past 4 yrs uses the cheek to physically beat me whenever we have an argument even over a simple thing.He pulls me hair,hits me against the wall,kicks me and tramples me using his feet.He even has scratched my face and my neck. Till he gets satisfied he goes on physically hitting me.He does all this right in front of my child.I cannot match his physical strength and that's where he takes advantage.I cry and beg him not to beat me this way.....he loves to see my sorry state.The first or second time he did it he felt bad about it.Gradually it became a habit and now its too frequent and the intensity of the abuse is getting higher.He has absolutely no guilt anymore.He never ever apologises or even feels bad.In fact he tells me that I deserve it because i dare confront him.He always calls my parents and scares them that he will leave me.They always ask me to take courage and bear with all this and not tell anyone about it.They believe that there is no life for a woman without her husband ...and hence ask me to tolerate.To the outside world he has presented himself as a saint.Nobody who knows him will ever believe that he can be doing all this inside the house. I am married 10 yrs.I lived with his parents initially and his family used to ill treat me.He always pretended like nothing is happening when they did it. Once we moved out of his parents home.....thats when he started teating me this way.When he is not beating me...he is using all kinds of names.He addresses me as a ***** or a Prostitute...RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SON. I'm so terribly hurt.I know i'm disrespected.....I wish he realizes that he is treating me badly. I have never ever told anyone about this because it is shameful...and personally i dont want to have a bad marriage.I want him to love me and care about me. But it never seems to be happening.I come from a country where divorce is the end of life for a woman....and hence i always think in terms of maybe doing something because of which he may start loving me. Please help me with your suggestions...and help my marriage.
What was your best random conversation with a stranger?
It was Holi time and I was going home to Chandigarh from Mumbai (I study in Mumbai, you see). I was travelling solo as i usually do and was allotted with a side lower berth in 2-Tier AC. I was sceptical about how my co-passengers would be because on a long journey like this one, it really matters the kind of company you have.And then I boarded the train to find a pleasantly plump guy probably in his late 20's sitting on my seat. We were quiet till the train started. And then our conversation began. It consisted of the normal pleasantries and then I came to know that he owns some fancy Production house in Mumbai and was on his way to his native. It won't be wrong to say that he was among the very few gallant men I've met in my life. The conversation went on and off and then this incident happens : I somehow lost my phone *facepalm* So I had it a minute back but all of sudden I lost it. I was tensed and then this filmy thing happens .. I give him my number and tell him to call my phone only to later realise that my phone was on silent.After about 10 mins of this mess I finally spot my phone which had slipped into the side of the seat. Then with the relief of successfully finding my phone I slept. When I woke up I found that he wasn't there and I just recollected the interesting conversations we had the previous day. I then boarded my connecting train from Delhi to Chandigarh and found this text.And suddenly I was struck with this thought that how at times it doesn't matter how well you know a person or how long have you known someone to spend some quality time together.We never talked after that message. Probably,we shall never meet again but somehow this incident shall prove to me that there are really sweet gentlemen out there with that oomph of chivalry.
What are some tips that can help me become a better boyfriend?
Be a person of character and values and always stand by her.Don’t be egoistic or overprotective or too clingy, she wants a boyfriend not a bouncer.Treat her like a queen when you’re in presence of company and pamper her like a princess when you're alone.Never restrict her for doing anything or talking to anyone. Even her parents can’t do that. That’s off-limits for you. But always look out for her and have her best interest at heart. She'll learn from her mistakes, but be there when it happens and support her.Trust her, if she only wants you, don’t worry about who wants her.Share her pain and sorrows. Work day and night to solve her problems without ever letting her know.Leave your comfort zone for she never has to.Love her, Respect her the same way you'll want someone to respect your sister, be the guy she can bank upon in a problem.Don't show her your weakness in a tough situation, even if you’re scared shitless. Be the pillar of her trust.Don't start a fight in public when shes with you, don’t risk her safety for your ego, this is real life, not a movie.Flaunt her talents and skills. Let go of her flaws or short comings. You have them too nobody's perfect.Don't expect anything in return, if she loves you she will show it some way, some time when it means the most. Unfulfilled expectations kill even the best relationships.Be protective of her but never show it. Thank everyday that she's with you. Tell her what she means to you.Be patient in a fight. You will have a lot of them. Don't ever say something in the heat of the moment that you'll regret later.Become her best friend. Be someone she can confide to in the worst of times without being judged.Everybody has a bad day, sit with her and talk about it. Listen more than you speak. Advice her only when its necessary and it'll go a long way.Don’t worry if things don’t go according to plan, all the pieces will fall into place eventually.Never speak ill of her family. Her father is her hero and she will look for the same love, compassion and trust they have in her, in you.All relationships go through shit, its only the best ones that survive..Open your heart to her and never worry about the future.Ping me for any advice, any time. God bless you both :)
6 years in a relationship....no commitment?
my bf and i have been together for 6.5 years and have been living together for the past 4. i had met my bf when i was 21 and after such a long run, i am finding myself lying to my family and friends - simply because they know that i am a strong believer in a family and accomplishment according to the life stages. i have never made it a secret. i have mapped out my life and then, i fell in love! ohhh, his endless charm and a way with words has captured my world and EVERYONE in it. we have both worked hard struggling through university while working to meet our financial obligations. we have never let each other down! until....he came into a few hundred thousand dollars (3 yrs into our relationship - he was 31). we were both exhilirated, planning for a bright future together. a year later all the money was gone (i dont know where), i had no ring, we are still renting, he overspent and claimed bankrupcy and it feels like i am losing ground. when we converse he admits his faults and promises that any day now...we are gonna get hitched. the time passes and i feel so let down. the last one of my single/younger friends is getting married in 2 weeks and i am "always the bridesmaid"... our relationship is beginnig to deteriorate as my b/f is avoiding my family and friends (too many Q&As) and he seems to enjoy "online blahhh" more than being with me. I am still trying, should i just give up? or hope...
I’ve been in a long distance relationship for 4+ years. I promised I would visit, but had financial problems and couldn’t. She had an affair with a friend and they got involved. Should I act like nothing happened, visit her, and see how things work?
I'd tell you to leave her. But before that everyone should sit together (ideally you, her and the other man; if not, at least you and her) to thrash out all your suppressed issues. You guys really have to talk it out if you want to make any further progress in this relationship. As someone mentioned in another answer, do not act like nothing happened. The most dysfunctional relationships are based on this type of behaviour where everyone pretends to be okay with each other because they're not willing to face up to reality. Avoiding the issue and not communicating with each other will simply exacerbate the problems in the relationship. In my opinion she is using the fact that you "broke your promises" multiple times to justify her affair with the other man. I may be demonising her; I have not heard her side of the story, after all. However, even if you were not a good boyfriend, that does not give her the right to seek another man while still attached to you. That is her fault. You're at fault too, as you say yourself: you disappointed her. But two wrongs do not make a right. She's simply refusing to own up to her mistake and would rather use the victim card to guilt-trip you and maybe make herself feel better.At least she came clean with you. But she did lie after all. Take my answer with a pinch of salt. Relationships are not objects to be used and thrown away. If you make the effort and everyone is honest with each other, you might still be able to salvage it. Life is not all pretty flowers and good vibes - things like this will happen to some people. That being said, I'd still leave her if I were you...
Do husbands ever come back home after a separation?
So you have decided that getting back together with an ex is the best choice for the both of you. While you may feel excited and relieved, keep in mind there could be rocky roads ahead if you are not careful. A break up is not something taken lightly. Make sure you are truly ready to reunite by asking yourself the following questions. Does My Ex Make Me Feel Angry, Sad or Frustrated? When you spend time with your ex, do you still feel those negative emotions welling up inside? If so, you are not ready to try again. You are still feeling the effects of the break up. You may need to only sit down talk and air out the issues that are still bothering you. If this doesn't work, you should consider postponing the reunion until you feel better about it. Do You Truly Want This Person? Some people fall in love with the idea of being in love rather than the person they are supposed to be in love with. Make sure you are not getting your relationship fix by getting back with an ex. You should actually feel something special for this one person. If anyone can fill the position, then you are better off moving on until you can get your emotions and needs in order. Is the Past Really Behind You Both? The break up was caused by something. Whatever it was, have you both come to terms and found a solution that is fair to each partner? Are you ready to move on while leaving those bad things in the past? If you are not truly ready, these things can begin to appear in the form of arguments and bickering which can make your relationship break again further down the road. Now Pay Close Attention to this - I probably shouldn't reveal this to you, but I want to help because I was just like you not long ago. Take 2 minutes to check out the next page. You'll discover stunning tactics to get your ex practically begging to want you back. These psychological tricks are extremely powerful when used right. I urge you to read everything on the next page before it's too late... https://bitly.im/qgGDP
What secret will you never share with your parents?
The horrible night of my life:I was from a well to do family. Nothing seems to lagging in my life. I have everything up to my satisfaction. This is hidden incident of 21 year old girl whose horrible night is hidden or unknown to her parents.From childhood till the completion of my schooling, i wasn’t much aware of external world. It was my first independent experience with external world when i joined college. Four years passed , It was good and happy in hostel.I got job at Bangalore in MNC. I stayed at pg. In the room I was with a girl from Kerala. We had a good friendship such that we both become closer in a week.It was the Saturday night, She was about to vacate the pg on Sunday. She had her engagement the next month.Meanwhile, she invited me and my bf , when we three were out. Now on that night, it was almost 11 pm. We were about to sleep, I felt someone’s breathe over my neck. As soon as i opened my eyes, It was she who was smooching over my neck and she started smooching all over my face. I was trying hard to push her but failed miserably and she kissed me on my lips very hardly. I wasn’t able to tolerate further then rolled away and fall down from the cot.I wasn’t angry but was really shocked by this attitude. I saw terrible fear on her face. She was shivering more than me. I wasn’t in the mode to exaggerate this, after some long silence, I gave her some water to her to let her calm down. I asked why did she do like this? After a long silence she started crying and said that she is bisexual and she started saying that she used to masturbate a lot on while i used to sleep and today she wasn’t able to control herself .So I thought of not to exaggerate this event and made her sleep. I never said this to anyone , not even to my mom or dad.At this stage i was hopeless to move close with anyone.At one instance i felt bad on myself and at the other side i feel that girl.I don’t know whether it is my mistake. If so I feel sorry for her.