How Can I Not Be A Social Outcast?
I know this question is a little long but I ask you to PLEASE read it. You will be doing me a great favor, thank you! My name is Kyle and this question is very important to me. I would like to ask anyone who answers my question is please answer it to the best of your ability. This is an issue I have dealt with all my teen hood and I am tired of being the social outcast! My question speaks for itself. I have been an employee at Walgreen's for two plus years. I occasionally go to a youth service at a church nearby where I live. So I don't drink or smoke and I'm natrually kind to people but its all the same. Nobody feels comfotable around me. Nobody wants to engage a conversation with me. I always am forced to innitiate the conversation for them. There are other people that don't have that problem and I would like to know how they do it. I have accepted being an outcast for the longest time but deep inside I long for relationships with people. One day I want to become a pastor and I want people to feel at ease when they're with me. That they can trust me and I would not make fun of them but to love on them and care for them just as Jesus did. I am a christian but I do not expect religous answer. Whether your Athiest, Muslim, Buhdist, etc...it dosen't matter. I am open to anyone who would know how to no longer be a social outcast. Please refer to me to any helpful websites that you may know of. Again I'm sorry that this question was a little long but when a questions is THIS important to me. It's difficult to be brief so thank you for reading and I look forward to your replies. -Kyle
What should I do if I'm not a social person?
It's simple bro, challenge yourself. Say to yourself that " I am going to talk to atleast one stranger everyday, irrespective of the response I get". Simple steps :-1) walk up to a stranger with a smile . 2) introduce yourself and ask him how was his day,just simple stuffs.tip:- It's easy to find some misplaced wallflowers around you, go and talk to them and you will have a positive feeling that you have made someone comfortable.Just try try try.. :)
Social role theory?
gender roles in certain situations r the same. eg in katrina - both men and women went to help without hesitation. in fact in social theory, women would help as they have motherly instincts. but its hard to say. in NY, if someone falls, chances r a minortity or non-white women wld come forward to help. the white male will move along. therefore both genders hv the same EQ when it comes to help others in times of difficulties. we mustnt hv preconceived notions that only one gender wld help.
Is it bad that I'm not a very social person?!?
I have a small group of friends at school that I talk to, but am not close to them. Then, there are two people I usually hang out with after school for less than an hour. And, there is an old friend that I talk to about ever other week. Otherwise, I'm not a very social person. I don't know why, but I can't get myself to act like myself. I know it sounds silly, but I never feel comfortable around people. Is is bad that I'm not a very social person? How can I become less "shy"? I am a confident person, but when I try to talk to someone, I tend to freak out!
Why am I not a very sociable person?
It sounds like you are an introvert. Which is totally normal and completely okay! Nowadays people think that partying is the only thing that every person should enjoy to really have fun, and those who never go out are considered boring people who don't know how to have fun. But every person is different. Everyone consider different things to be fun.I completely know what you are trying to say here. I am an ambivert which means I am both introverted but also extroverted. I have my feet on both sides. It can be quite confusing at some times. As an introvert when I’ve been with my friends for too long, I need to “charge my batteries” it means that I need some time alone because I enjoy to do my own thing without being judged or bothered. But as an extrovert, I do also find parties fun to a certain extent. It’s fun to meet new people, dance and take a few drinks. BUT this does not mean that partying is the only thing I need to have “fun”. I like to party sometimes but not too often, I find it tiring after a while.Don’t feel bad for not always wanting to go out and preferring to stay home. Don’t believe that partying is something everyone enjoys and that you are having less fun for not going to parties. If you are curious, just try to go to a party if you get the chance sometime. See if you really enjoy it or if you actually realize that you don’t have to party to have fun. Either way, it’s your choice, and you are not weird or boring for preferring to be alone more often than always being social. It’s who you are and it’s completely normal. Unfortunately you just happen to live in a world where it’s easier to be extroverted. But don’t let that hold you back, being an introvert is awesome!If you have tumbler you should check out these accounts:Introvert Problemshttp://psych2go.me
I am not very social. What should I do to overcome this weakness?
Firstly, not being social is just fine. Please do not think of it as a weakness. In my little experience being social for the sake of it is not been really worth it. The fact that you are reaching out here is evidence enough that you are making an effort and that should be enough.If you like to really get out there, I can think of 2 simple mantras- smile more and talk more. Eventually, you will automatically attract people like yourself!
I am really social, but have no friends. Why?
* I am not a cocky person. I am just saying everything how it is * I am 16, been told I'm very attractive, I'm easy to get along with and have been told many times I'm the nicest person people know. I'm in clubs, leadership, have good grades, and I'm a lot of fun and trustworthy. I go to the gym. Horseback riding is my life. I'm an only child. Through elementary school I had 3 best friends and we were completely inseperable. Through middle school I had another best friend on top of the three. Freshman year I had a ton of friends, and a cute boyfriend. Sophomore - same. Plus a hot boyfriend. lol (Guys don't matter that much to me - less drama without one. But they can be a plus. btw I'm not a whore. LOL) Now (Junior year): I'm never alone in class or lunch, and I can sit at almost any lunch table because I know someone there that I get along well with. A couple people told me that I'm good at everything (I really don't like if people think that about me - I want to be known as someone that's down to earth and real. I'm nothing close to fake), and I have 1 best friend (a guy) who has a girlfriend, and we talk almost everyday. I've always had so many close friends and now.. I have 1 I can tell things to. Sometimes I feel depressed, sometimes I feel happy that I can be so independant. But truth is, I want to be surronded by people to share my good and bad times together with, theirs too, and to make some of the best memories of my life with. It's said that highschool is the best time of your life because your surronded by the ones you love. Well, where's mine? I hang out with friends once a week, most of the time it's just my best friend. I work 2x a week and have horseback riding 2x and that fills the void for a while, but after.. Not so much. I don't know what I'm looking for here. Maybe how to deal with this? Is this normal? Because whenever I'm alone I feel miserable. Isolated. When I'm at school I couldn't be happier (until I have to work, of course). Thank you!
I am not very social and I keep to myself most of the time. I enjoy being with my family and few friends and no one else. Can I succeed in life?
I don’t see how your concerns are related.You are an introvertYou want to succeed in lifeHow does one govern the other? Are you saying introverts don’t succeed? Are you saying everyone successful is outspoken and loves partying? You have gotten it wrong.I was in my shell for more than 5 years - not even stepping out of the house, forget attending parties and managing to answer questions! Believe me, you are much better off than I was. Today, I run a startup! I am an entrepreneur, and quite a successful one, too!Keeping to yourself only showcases your preferences and nothing beyond that. You don’t need to be a social bee to be successful in your life. Focus on your career instead of worrying about the ramifications of being an introvert. Honestly, in this world where people have a hard time keeping their mouths shut, you are a blessing.Socializing and making more friends - you learn these things. They end up coming naturally when the time comes. The same thing happened to me. I am still an introvert and would love staying at home, reading a book on the weekends but I don’t shut myself any longer. With time, you will do the same.Also, don’t forget that having a few good friends is leaps and bounds better than having many, many unreliable ones.All the best!