When you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see?
I see my raw self. I see exactly who I am as I stare in my eyes - the imperfect me, the happy me, the sad me, the strong me. And I see how far I've come from where I started.There have been times where I've seen a broken girl in that mirror, ashamed of looking in her own eyes. But I dared and looked anyway, motivating myself to go and be who I wanted to be. Today, I'm much closer to the person I want to be. I lose track sometimes, get distracted, but I always return to the right path, walking towards my destination.To me, the mirror never lies. I don't let it.
How do I tune out the world around me and just feel numb?
I'm pretty depressed and bipolar. No one believes me. Parents tell me to snap out of it. Tell me I have nothing to be depressed over, hah. I hate myself. Can't even look at myself in the mirror without getting angry/crying. Can't have normal conversations with my friends anymore. I annoy everyone with my complaining yet all I want is someone to listen to me and care, even though I know it will never help. I'm unable to change how I feel. Can't get antidepressants, wish I could. No health insurance, no education. Dropped out of high school. Obese. Ugly. Broke up with my boyfriend because I don't feel good enough for him. Not good enough for anyone. I sleep all day to forget about the pain. It's the only time I don't care. I want to be able to live like the way I do in my dreams, not feeling anything. I want to be numb to the world around me. I want to feel some sort of happiness, even if it is temporary. Isn't that what life is, temporary happiness until you die. What can I do to just let go, just feel numb and not care about what ills me? Besides death, of course. I'm trying to look for alternatives to that one. So far I've come up empty.
I want to cut myself but promised I wouldn't?
Please help... Hmmmmmm? What sort of help are you looking for? Let's examine what you've written. "I've been very depressed lately." Let me see if I can offer some helpful advice. Don't be! Why are you depressed? Trust me when I tell you that your depression is a zero sum game and not worth the effort so... Don't be depressed! BINGO... Problem solved. "I am 15 and taking celexa for my depression, intrusive thoughts(ocd), and anxiety" I can't help you here because I don't take it but if you feel you must then I guess you need to take it. " I am feeling very suicidal and want to cut myself" Once again, let me see if I can offer some helpful advice. Don't be suicidal and don't cut yourself. Why would you want to do that? Trust me when I tell you that it's a zero sum game and not worth the effort so... Don't be suicidal or cut yourself! BINGO... Problem solved. "awhile back I promised my grandparents I wouldn't cut again when they found out i did" That's wonderful because your grandparents love you and want the best for you. So... How much is your promise to your grandparents worth and how much do you love them? I hope this helps.
What is the saddest part of growing up?
Obviously, we start to lose our loved ones. But after that, I miss this part most. Whenever I went on an adventure, I had an enormous feeling of excitement and butterflies in my stomach. Now, I am 21 years old. No matter what I do, its just not the same. Whatever I do, I just don't feel the excitement I used to feel when I was a kid. What is the saddest part of being an adult for you guys?
How can you make yourself truly happy when it seems impossible?
A few ideas: 1. Christians do in fact suffer from depression. It is not a sign of spiritual weakness, although it can be part of a crappy life. 2. You need to get a physical. You need to mention to your doctor what is going on. You might in fact be chemically depressed, which means that your brain isn't producing something that you need to be happy. 3. You need to work with a therapist as well. Yes, Christians do seek therapy, just like they'd use any other doctor. They will help you determine what issues might be causing you to feel this way. 4. I felt that way once, and didn't understand it at the time. I look back and say "duh." I was happy at one school, then dad got transferred, and I got dropped into a school where nothing went right for me. I kept laughing, but I felt like I was a ghost in a machine, a ghost that just kept the machine running and little else. 5. You need to examine your exercise schedule. Exercise burns off stress and depression. Your body was made by God to make ENDORHINES which are very powerful mood-altering drugs. Those endorphines are made when you're exercising, and they are very very powerful things.