I Choose To Be Anorexic

Why do people choose to be anorexic? Can't they just eat?

When I was anorexic, it was like going swimming in the ocean and all of a sudden you look back, realizing you have been taken much further away from the shore than you ever planned to go. Then you try swimming back, but you no longer have the strength to fight the riptide. A few strong swimmers are able to fight their way back, but the harder you fight the more exhausted you become. Most people with eating disorders need a lifeguard, someone to pull them back to shore.People who are anorexic often have no comprehension of just how far they are away from the shore. They have distorted views of themselves.When someone looks at an anorexic person, they see ribs, bones, painfully dull hair, and other unattractive symptoms. When an anorexic person looks at themselves, they see the bit of stomach fat they have left, they see oversized thighs, they see chubby round cheeks.Once in a while, they look at themselves clearly. I remember once, looking in the mirror at what used to be my full breasts, and seeing a shrunken, flat chest. It was a shock. I felt like I was in the middle of a riptide, and trying to get better only made it worse.I developed bulimia when I tried to recover from anorexia. I had so much fear about overeating, that trying to eat more to gain weight was extremely traumatic. In those times, it was easier to go limp, and let the terrible tide of anorexia take me back.I was drowning.Asking why anorexic people don't simply eat is like asking why a drowning person doesn't try to swim.A better question, is how can you get help if you are anorexic, or get help for your loved ones. Thinking it's a simple issue to solve exacerbates the problem. You are saying to the drowning person that they just need to stop swallowing water and start breathing air.The point is, that they can't. They wish they could. They look at pictures of themselves as a child and feel jealous of that carefree, happy person.Anorexia is a mental illness that has a side-effect of being underweight. The real problem is in their head. They need someone stronger to pull them to shore.