My wife spends all her time with the kids - what do I do?
Sorry about this. It sounds like you both need some "away" time. Try to stay busy. See the links below. Try to go back to counseling to see if that helps. Don't give up. The love is there. You just have to uncover it again. Peace.
My husband spends no time with me and our kids?
I understand what you are going through. My husband is a physician and leaves the house early and doesn't get home until late. Do you guys have at least one day a week that you spend as a family? Ours is Sunday. We go to church together and then will have a meal together (out or at home). I can't say I have to deal with a husband who goes out golfing, but I also know that men have to deal with their stress in differing ways. Do you nag at your husband to spend more time with the kids and you? If you do, chances are, he doesn't want to be stressed all day at work then come home and listen to what else he's not doing right. Men need their ego's stroked. As much as women don't like to do it, they need it. You will see a different man once you do this. Are you waking up early and preparing his breakfast or at least sitting at the table with him? You can always put the kids to bed earlier and get them up before he leaves and have breakfast together as a family. Maybe you can find something he likes to do, such as golf, and learn how to do it, or show an interest in it. Take lessons yourself, ask him questions about it. Ask how his game was. if you show an interest in his interests, maybe he'll be more apt to want to share things with you that interest him. A lot of women (me included at times) don't want to take the submissive role, but when our men know we need them (and not in a naggy way, but in a true way), they feel like the big powerful man who can swoon his little lady and be the hero. Now, on the other hand, if your husband blatently says to you that he doesn't want to spend time with you or the children, first, find out why. Ask him point blank. Tell him (nicely) that you love him so much and you want to spend time with him and that the children love him and need his influence on their lives because he's such a wonderful man. If he is flat out telling you that he doesn't want to spend time with you, then I would suggest marriage counselling if you don't want to throw in the towel, or an attorney if you feel there is no hope.
My boyfriend won't spend time with me when he has his kids. Should I be patient or end the relationship?
Ah, a tricky situation, to be sure. Having been in a slightly similar situation to you, I can tell you that you need to have a sit down and hard think about this relationship. I assume you have no kids of your own -is that right? I know you can’t answer me (ha ha), so I will assume that. Based on that assumption, you are in the unenviable place that all of us without children find ourselves: of playing second fiddle to someone else’s kids. I hate it. A lot. Which is why I’ve decided to make the supreme effort NOT to be with someone with kids next time I get married. It’s just not worth it. No matter how loving a person who has kids may be, you and I will always come after their kids. Now on the one hand, one can argue that as being totally appropriate. But, the truth of the matter is that it’s not healthy. In an ideal world, the kids and the step mom / dad would have equal value. It’s been my experience that such balance is incredibly rare. Indeed, some people are actually proud of the fact that they put their kids above the SO! That, IMHO, is very unhealthy, immature and manipulative.Anyway (climbing down off my hobbyhorse…), you need to face the fact that this is likely a permanent thing, or at least one that is going to be long-lived. You don’t need to feel guilty about your desire to be with your BF when he’s with his kids, but you do either have to make peace with the fact that this is his way, come hell or high water, or you will need to find someone who doesn’t have kids. There are more guys without kids than women (as I’ve discovered to my dismay), so your chances of finding a guy who is childless is pretty high. I don’t think this is a trivial matter - it’s actually very important. If you and your BF can’t come to an agreement on this, one way or the other, it will be a thorn in your relationship that generates bitterness and resentment until the cows come home.Blessings to you, my friend. Please make good, healthy choices for yourself, looking to the long-term. You need to feel loved and cared for and special. If your BF’s lifestyle is such that you don’t feel that, you’re just with the wrong guy - it’s not one’s fault, it’s just life.
Do you like spending more time alone OR..?
I don't like to sleep alone. I don't like to eat alone. I don't like to drive alone. Here I am thinking in type. thought it through and no rather not be alone,no.
Boyfriend spends time with kids at ex's?
I am open minded to all answers. My boyfriend knows it bothers me when he goes to his ex's house and watches movies there and/or cooks for his children. Because I have children of my own, I understand him spending time with them, but I always respected my ex enough not to spend my quality time with my children at his house. I also have to add that my boyfriend lives with a friend (male around 40's) ... so I know it's hard for him to bring the children there. My opinion is to bring the kids to the movies or out to dinner or get a place where you can bring the kids without reservations. I don't know if I'm making too much of this, just wanted some imput... Thank you in advance.
Some parents don’t spend much time with their child but, instead give the child gifts as a way to show their love. Do you think this is good enough?
No, this is not good enough. Parents work hard, so that they can provide for a better future for their kids. They enroll them to the best schools, arrange personal tutors and provide all those things that are required, including toys and other gifts.When your child is growing, she/he needs you the most. Given this, spending time with them is of utmost importance. Expensive gifts do not make up for the time lost. So, spend time with your child and make them realize you are there for them.What your child wants from you:Give your child time.Play with them.Pay attention to their studies.Take time to appreciate them for their achievement.Motivate and support them for their goals and dream.Gift them on occasions or when they need a certain thing.Try not to make them feel alone, always be there for them in their happiness and sadness.
I don't enjoy playing or spending time with my 5 yr old. She doesn't have any friends to play with. How much am I damaging her?
Firstly, lots of mums find playing with a 5 year old taxing - particularly if it’s day after day without relief.As the other posters have said though, your child does need social interaction - either at nursery or playgroup and, by the sound of it, YOU need social interaction and someone to talk to as well.Are you suffering from depression? Might it be worth talking to your doctor about your feelings.As long as you are showing your child love in other ways with lots of cuddles and hugs and acknowledging her presence when she communicates with you then she won’t be damaged - as long as you get her some company.If you are finding it hard to relate to her at all, that I suspect you are depressed and that needs to be addressed.I’m more concerned with the tone of your post that you are the one who needs support at the moment.You don’t mention a partner. If you have one, are they doing their fair share? Being a single parent is very tough. I suspect you’re doing better than you think.