Feeling neglected by family?
First off, I'm a girl, and I'm 13. when I was first born my parents gave me tons of attention because I was their first girl child, but I guess they changed their mind from that because for about a few years now I've just felt neglected and unwanted more and more over the years. When I was 10 I got mixed into the wrong crowd, I got caught smoking when I was 11 and my friends wanted some alcohol so I stole some from my kitchen and drank it with them at a sleepover. All of my siblings are doing good things, my 2 oldest brothers are in college, my teen brother is going to be valedictorian, my younger brother is in the gifted classes because he's soo smart and I don't have anything. I feel as if whenever I go into a room with them they all gang up on me. My brothers tell me they wish I was born a boy and I don't belong in this family, once they told me they'd all be happy if I died and they'd laugh at my funeral. My parents don't listen to me and never let me do anything, they always randomly buy my brothers gifts and I have to beg if I want just one thing. I feel so alone sometimes I cut, drink, smoke, and want to just fall asleep and never wake up. I told my mom I cut and she told me to stop being so overdramatic and I should stop because its dumb and she thought I did it for fun. I have no friends, and feel as if I have no family, I never feel like I'm at home. Whenever my parents talk to me or check on me its to tell me to clean, fix, or just to yell at me. No one cares about me and I have lost all energy to live. I'm home schooled so I barely ever see anyone, because I'm agoraphobic but my mom wont take me to get it treated so I feel like Its just getting worse. They verbally abuse me and sometimes spank me for no reason. I feel like I'm in jail. Cant remember the last time I was told "I love you" by anyone. Any advice or any reason you think they hate me? I didn't really know what to do or where to go with my problems....
Why do I feel so neglected after my dad told my brother he loves him more than me?
When parents tell they love your brother more than you, you must be happy with that. You must not feel bad because you have more reasons to work harder. When they say they love him more. You are not here to envy, you must be filled with love and compassion yourself.If you envy the whole existence of you is deffered. I would understand if they compared with you on specific things like he works and you dont, he has a better job nd you don't. When my parents praised me in front of my brother he used to be happy, he used to tell me that I deserve love and he doesn't need it because he is himself filled with love for me. He used to learn somethings from me and I observe him and learn but deep within the praises I got i used to defend my parents telling he is much more sweeter and deserves more than me.One day my dad scolded my brother and he was upset, my dad hit him for some reason. That night my dad was so guilty that he was upset and not talking to anyone. When my brother was fast asleep he went kissed him and hugged him and told him you are the best, I am preparing you for the best.Dont choose the path of envy learn to love and live to Love :)
What can I do about the neglect I feel?
If your worst problem is that you have to spend 3 hours a day in a room that's too hot, then, lucky you.But it's not the real problem, is it? Sharing a home with someone who makes you feel stressed and anxious is one of your problems - and you need to start dealing with it. Is your anxiety based on a real danger that your dad will hurt you, or is it just that you argue with each other? If you feel there's a genuine risk, you need to get help, perhaps from another relative or a charity.Your other problem is that you feel unfairly treated. If you're a teenager who is too young to leave home, this is a very common problem. You feel old enough to make adult decisions, but you don't have the legal right to do so. It doesn't sound as if your dad is treating you unfairly. He pays for the house, so why should he have to stay in his bedroom just because you're too much of a princess to want to share his air-space?The most important part of becoming an adult is accepting that YOU have the responsibility for your own happiness. Not your dad, not your boyfriend, and not a bunch of strangers on the internet. We can advise you, but at the end of the day, if you want your life to change for the better, you are the one who needs to make it happen. I suggest you try to improve your relationship with your dad, and if you're still at school, concentrate hard on your studies to get the best grades you can: a well-paid job can get you out of there.
What to do about my parents' neglected dog?
Your parents are shortening the dog's life by feeding him table scraps and letting him get overweight. Not taking him to the vet is abusive. He should be given annual shotsand attention. The pyr's job IS to protect them. but the trouble is that, the dog cannot bond with them to know how important it is to protect them because they don't bother to give the dog any of their time and attention. SO... because they ignore him, he will NOT be a good guardian of them. To be a good guardian, he has to be able to BOND with the charges he guards. So, tell them that their ignoring him and not grooming him, and not giving him their time and attention means that the ONLY thing he has been trained to guard is the HOUSE. The electric fence may not keep him in if they've installed: 1) an invisible fence (not strong enough for a pyr) 2) a hot fence with too WEAK of a charger! I hope he gets out again so your dad will bring him over to you. I agree with you that dogs are part of the family. Obviously the house dog is treated by your parents as a family member. If you want to try to guide your parents, you can tell them that if they do NOT groom, pet, train, and interact in loving fashion with the dog, then the dog will NOT see them as being what he is supposed to guard. AND.. if they abuse him, he won't be likely to guard him. Considering how your parents, esp. your father, act, I am trying to figure out who you patterned on and learned to love your dogs as family members. Obviously you didn't learn this from your cold, uncaring father! And you can tell him my pyrs and I said so. I'm amazed that you feel strongly about family considering how your parents act. They are shameful. I hope you can get custody of him, but you DO have a hard job ahead of you to re-socialize him! Be prepared!!!
Why did my dad neglect me but love them?
Wow you do have it hard you must be a tough girl to get through all of that in one piece. I reckon his behaviour is because he relates his first set of children (you + brothers) with his first wife and it was a painful time for him. With the new wife hes turned a new leaf but he seems like a real A*hole if you dont mind me saying and should of stayed with his first set of kids. You need to move on from these kind of people youve sent him a letter now just ignore and see whether he mans up and replies.
I was with someone for 4 years, even though he neglected me I feel pain because of all the photos I have where we were happy. How can I look at the images without feeling pain?
I never used to keep my father pic with me , because it used to make me cry , I used to feel a lot of pain, his pic used to make me feel that he is not with me anymore.It has been 4 years and I never looked at his pic.But few days back I was listening to a spiritual speaker who said people are unhappy just because of only one reason and if they overcome this they won't feel bad about anything.AcceptanceWe don't accept that we are in this or that particular situation, which makes us unhappy. Try to accept situation in which you are. If he is not in your life anymore then it was meant to be . And try to be happy that you had a friend for four years , even if he didn't liked you much but you had a wonderful time being with him.ForgiveYou need to forgive him for your own good. Just tell yourself that he was a nice guy and YOU had nice time with him .Follow this thing and you will be happy. It's only us who have actual power to make us sad or happy. You don't let him go then how you will be able to move.I have accepted that my father is no more and for whatever time he was with me that was enough for me.He is now with god and he was all healthy and happy when he left us. And he must be happy there too.HE IS WITH GOD SO NOW I HAVE MY OWN DAD THERE UP IN SKY TO TALK ABOUT MY PROBLEMS WITH GOD AND HE CAN FORCE HIM TO TAKE SPECIAL CARE OF ME. So I think I am lucky.Today i saw him after 4 years.
Is there such a thing as emotional abuse by neglect? Father shared nothing of his feelings to me, rarely empathized with me. Am I wrong to feel hurt?
It’s never wrong to feel hurt by something. The question is, what next? The first step in any journey is looking with honesty on your situation and acknowledging hurt is a big and important step. Sure, blissful ignorance might get you far, and a lot of people operate there quite well. But I’d rather look at the truth, or at least my truth, feel the pain of it and then work on transcending it than being in the dark any day. You can’t help but become wiser about yourself and other people.What you’re doing is following your gut and saying, “This doesn’t feel right.” But like others have said, don’t try to follow in his footsteps or jump through hoops to please or get validation. It just won’t happen. And it’s so tempting when we have stingy parents to define ourselves by their view of us. Here’s a not so big secret: They’re unhappy individuals. And through overt or covert judgment of other people, they believe they have control over life and themselves. They don’t. And they live for making others feel small because they have a low self image.The less you try to define yourself by their view of you, the more likely you’ll one day be able to have compassion (which helps you, not them) so you no longer have to hold onto the hurt.