Why is my friend so easily offended?
My best friend nadia gets offended by everything someone says. She always thinks someone is being indirectly aggressive and offensive like they have a hidden motive and are out to get her in some way. This is bothersome because i feel like i have to walk on egg shells every time i talk to her. Sometimes im afraid expressing myself to her because she will take it the wrong way and will not listen to anything im saying. Her expression is, "Who are you coming at?" whenever someone says something to her, and she becomes offended. She always thinks someone is looking at her giving her dirty looks, or that they are talking about her. Its hard to have a normal conversation sometimes. I have tried telling her this to her face and she just laughs it off, not taking it seriously. What do i do?
Why did my friend feel offended or upset that I told her she's very immature for her age or that her line of reasoning is similar to that of a teenager? It is the truth and something she needs to work on.
In your opinion, your friend maybe immature and her line of reasoning maybe similar to that of a teenager. Maybe in the eyes of someone older, smarter and more accomplished than you - you may be considered the same.So maturity and reasoning is very subjective in nature.Now just as not everyone appreciates being called names or categorized as immature or having bad reasoning skills - I suppose your friend also has the right.So use discretion when doing so.Finally, last if not the least - if you were mature and your line of reasoning was greater than that of a teenager - do you think you would have asked people on a public platform a question like this?Don’t you think there is something you need to work on?Loy Machedo
So my friend is from Hong Kong. Why does he get offended when I say he is from China?
To me, it has nothing to do with elitism as someone from China claimed in his response. As a local, it really has to do with the cultural identity and history of Hong Kong.In short, Hong Kong was under British rule for 150+ years, during which Hong Kong has developed its economic, financial, social systems and culture to become what it is today. Before all these it was a fishing village in case you were not aware.Our mainland Chinese friends always like to quote how successful China is today and how other Chinese cities have outperformed Hong Kong, that’s fine, and it’s not the point here.The point is it’s not hard to imagine Hong Kong, after 150 years of British rule, is not the same as just another Chinese city.Language: Mainland Chinese people (except southern Chinese friends) speak to HKers in Mandarin, while HKers primarily speak Cantonese. To be honest we don’t speak Mandarin at all except when we learn it from school or when we talk to Mandarin speakers.Differences also exist in pop culture, food we eat etc. which all make our cultural identity and history unique in its way, whether you agree or not. I won't say they are completely different from the traditional Chinese culture, but it’s ignorant to see them as the same.Another thing is we in Hong Kong, though more and more influenced by Chinese government, still in principle enjoy freedom of press, speech, protest etc. which is not the case in China. I admit this is a source of pride and is what further differentiates Hong Kong from China.So again, what's your question? Why your friend was offended when you said he was from China?Please don’t take my response negatively. I don’t blame foreign friends for misunderstanding it. I hope this answers your question and it gives your a better understanding.
Should I feel offended that I didn't get invited to my friend's birthday dinner?
Hi, its no fun to be excluded, especially if you consider this person a close friend (rather than a casual friend). Sorry that happened to you. That being said, my personal opinion (and please take it with a huge grain of salt, as I understand everyone feels differently about things), is that a lack of invite is usually unintentional and does not necessarily mean that the person does not want you there (in this case, it sounds very possible that your friend would be more than happy to have you there). A whole lot of possibilities could exist (not defending your friend, whom I don't even know, but just throwing these out here): this friend was in a hurry when inviting and didn't think about each and every person he/she wants invited, he/she may have just happened to mention it to those that he/she saw/talked to most recently (and not think of the others), or maybe he/she just had a lot of other things on the mind and did not give this event much attention/priority. In these cases, I would say that not getting an invite is purely unintentional/not done on purpose by any means. From my own personal experience, while I very rarely plan/initiate gatherings of any sort (for a variety of reasons, including not wanting to leave anyone out), I know that I have been guilty of unintentionally not inviting some good friends to a major event in my life. This was my wedding, which was planned in only three weeks and put together largely thanks to my family, and was a largely family-oriented event. Of course, had these friends found out about my event in advance and brought that to my attention, I would have definitely tried to have them there. I'm not proud of the situation but I am lucky to have them in my life as they were very understanding and knew that I had nothing against them whatsoever. For my part, I pretty much never expect to get an invite to any friend's event (no matter how close this friend is to me), as I know its not possible/practical to get invited each and every time, and usually a lack of an invite is not done in any malicious/mean-spirited/petty intent so I don't take it personally at all. Maybe that's just me, though, and I'm weird. Hope you manage to make it to your friend's event after all, or otherwise share your feelings with him/her. Good luck!
My friend said something that offended me...?
So, I'm talking to my friend that I've known for a while. I'm African-American, and he's Mexican. So, mind you we are really close, he even told me that I'm the closest friend he's ever had. His sister has always had a problem with our relationship, says we are too close etc, that caused a lot of problems between us. Anyway, today I'm giving him relationship advice, and I'm like, "Lol do you even KNOW how to flirt?" and he's like no, and he tells me why. so he's like "You know where I live?" and I'm like duh. He lives in an predominantly black community, while I on the other hand live in a predominantly white community. So, he goes "And you know you know how I told you how my parents feel about me dating black people right?" and I'm like "No...." and he's like, "Well, they told me never to date a black girl, so that's why I never flirted, because I would be wasting my time." I am very offended. I literally went straight to yahoo answers after this. Because, do I want to date him? No. But, I am Black! No matter if I'm nice, mean, light, dark, pretty, ugly, I am BLACK! I really don't know what to do, I haven't responded to him. I mean, I feel like he should have kept that to himself. I don't talk about Mexican people, regardless of what my parents think, I would never tell one of my friends something like that.
Should I feel offended that my boyfriend tells his friends about our sex life?
Last month there was an article about this in Cosmopolitan and they had both the female and male perspectives and it was amazing how the guys said they didn't do it to hurt their girlfriends but they were "making conversation" and "it made them feel better and more manly" and "never did it to hurt their girlfriend and in fact thought it would make her feel better because it meant that they loved them". Men think about sex as a completely different act than women do, they don't attach as many emotional issues to it as we do. He probably didn't mean to hurt you and it was a way for him to express to his friends that he was "close to you" and that "he loved you". Men express things in extremely odd ways...some of them we would never do. Since he didn't tell all the details he wasn't trying to "make you out to be a whore in the bed" but was letting his friends know how close the two of you were without hurting your feelings. He honestly didn't think he was doing anything wrong. Women however do the same thing. When we get together we talk about sex and what we do with our boyfriends and husbands so it truly is no different. I honestly doubt if he meant to any harm to you....he loves you and was just trying to express it even if it didn't seem that way to you. If you would prefer in the future that he doesn't share this with you friends then simply talk to him about it. Good luck. Peace, Love & Happiness
Is my friend easily offended, or am I a bad friend?
I have a history of allowing people to abuse me.I thought I was being a good friend (or girlfriend, or daughter, or whatever) at the time, fitting into what they wanted me to be. I thought this was a valid way of taking care of people I loved.I was wrong.In reality, I was extending myself past comfort, healthy boundaries, and self respect to enable their controlling behaviours. I was convincing them that treating people poorly was acceptable.I was giving them excuses not to grow.Now I believe that being a good friend means pointing out cruelty, carelessness, hypocrisy, and unfair assumptions when I see them. It also means trying not to act in ways that are cruel, careless, or hypocritical. It means checking my own assumptions to make sure they’re fair.When you are honest with your friend, and when you confront her about her abusive behaviours toward you, you’re being a good friend.When you try to make excuses for her, enable her abuse, and internalize her negative opinions about you, you’re not her friend at all— you’re her victim. There are lots of reasons you may feel trapped in the situation, and it’s not your fault this is happening. But when she acts this way and you stay silent, I don’t think you’re participating in a real, productive friendship.Perhaps she is sometimes a good friend. I don’t know. But what you describe is a scary dynamic with someone who has a lot to learn about how to treat her friends.
Best friend easily offended HELP!!!!!?!??!?
Jesus christ it can be so annoying. My best friend gets offended for every little thing. When she says you have ugly teeth to me i don't get offended because i know she doesn't really mean it or if she does its just what best friends do. Then when she tells me she has a big and ugly nose i say like no, but later i make a joke about it and she goes nuts and doesn'tt wanna talk to me the whole day, if i say "look at that little person" when were walking on the street, she goes you'ree so mean" and ididn'tt even ******* do anything. Yesterday she was talking about how her family came home and because she's had problems with them the past few weeks, she doesn'tt like them around because they are mean to her, i said "yeah.. jerks.. anyway tomorrow im gonna blah blah blah....<3 bye <3" and she goes, "you know just because they annoy me doesn't mean you can call them jerks they're my family and i love them." "bye" and i apologized and said i didnt mean it as an insult... and sent her hearts and apologized a few times again. today i said hi to her and she said hi, and then after a few messages she says again that shes still mad and i apologized again and said i didnt mean it like that, and she just says "i dont wanna discuss this with you again... see you on thursday... bye". It annoys me SO much because a best friend should be someone you can insult and they can insult every day and shouldn't get offended. She gets offended for EVERY LITTLE INSULT. A few days ago we went to the mall and because I don't speak the language in this country I asked her to ask if i can use a credit card to buy a slushy and she said ask in english and i didn't wanna and then she got all mad and gave me her drink and didn't wanna talk for like half an hour and when i tried to return the drink to her she refused and i had to drink it all... just so annoying AAARGH. what do i do?
Why did my boyfriends friend offend me?
so my boyfriend told me he wanted to show me what his friends talk about and so he called me and his friends didnt know i was on the phone and so one of his friends were like "shes all hairy, but id still hit that" they were talking about me and my boyfriend wasnt saying anything i wasnt either i was just hearing and his other friend was saying some other stuff about me, lets just say his friends were talking about me rudely at times . i find it wierd that his friends pretend to be nice when messaging and call me pretty in my pictures. sometimes i feel like they like me, my friends say they might just be jealous, but i dont know :