How to get over extreme social anxiety?
quit calling yourself a loser first of all. You just dont feel good, thats all and you need to think practical in order to feel good, in order to make your life what you want it to be. No situation is permanent. Remember: this too shall pass!!!!!! 1. How to get a summer job: Just make up a job reference- get somebody to be your fake reference and have a cover story. Or else get a reference from your high school off a teacher. Blag your way into a job-for manual work like shop assistants etc, they will train you in anyway so dont worry about lack of experience. Also have a good CV and cover letter and dress the part-get a nice pair of work trousers, black shoes-ballet pumps will do or else black heels, white blouse/jumper/jacket- when you do get interviews. Also apply for any job going, do not be picky! 2. How to get a boyfriend I would also say eat well, exercise and look after your apperance. This will boost your confidence and get a boyfriend. 3. How to increase your social circle With friends, the thing is you have to participate in something to get them. So get involved in things-get a hobby or something, you'll meet people at work/college anyway. 4. The social anxiety itself. Start feeling good about yourself now girl :) This book is really good for low self-esteem: http://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Low-Self-Esteem-Self-help-Programme/dp/1845292375/ref=pd_cp_b_1 It takes about three weeks to complete the exercises but will help build your self-esteem. Its like a workbook, you do the exercises in the book. For just the social anxiety itself this book seems good:http://www.amazon.com/Overcoming-Social-Anxiety-Shyness-Behavioral/dp/0465005454/ref=pd_sim_b_1 In the short term, you can also get your doctor/GP to prescribe you anti-anxiety medication, but this is not a long term solution though. It will give you a boost but you'll still have to deal with the problem long term. Good luck!
Does anyone with social anxiety work in retail? If so, how has your experience of retail been?
[raising and waving his hand]Pick me! I’ve got bunches of experience on this subject.;)I had been in retail for almost thirty years and outside of work, I spent five years performing on stage and in leadership roles all of my life—until recently.I used to hide from customers, they made me nervous.OK, they terrified me. Really.I took the job—and stayed in the profession—because I felt I didn’t really have any marketable skills.I’m retired now but I sure wish someone had sat me down and helped me find my skillsets and a more satisfying (and more lucrative) profession.What made my anxiety bearable was that I got into the “onstage” “off-stage” mentality when I was at work. My character was myself working with people and helping them.I did not have that same ability outside of work.It was and still is terribly difficult for me to come into a room with people watching me. I don’t answer the doors or my phone unless it is someone expected.“Having a part to play” gave me a little distance from my anxiety trigger; I never had to share myself but my character was always there to help whomever.It also gave me the ability, I felt, to control my environment, which was/is key to me and useful in a retail experience.I think that focusing on the customer (be that a boss, co-worker or the customer waving twenties at me) it took my mind off of my own anxiety.The store/product/company direction were constants that were my security blanket.I’ll give you something to stuff on your bathroom mirror:Today is not static, today is dynamic.To almost all of your customers, you are not you, you are the company that you work for. You can decide how much of what you want it to be.Good luck!
I'm *already* starting to get nervous about marching band?! (I'm joining next year.)?
I was exactly in your shoes 3 years ago :) Everyone is nervous going into marching band as a freshman. It happens. I can't tell you exactly what to expect (Every band is different), but I'll give you an idea, yeah? Most bands start in the summer. Expect sore muscles and feet, lots of serious sweating, 5 minute breaks, and long days. You'll go through marching basics (Not too difficult to catch on). Your worst enemies will be backwards marching and traversing. Also many chipped reeds. On the plus side, you'll meet lots of new people! If you're lucky, your band will have the nice section leaders that don't shout in your face (it all depends really). Don't worry about the social anxiety. Just be a little friendly with you section at least, and the next minute you'll be best mates (legit). You have the luxury of a nice, non heavy instrument. (Clarinet is easy to march, I've done it.) Band camp. Expect early mornings,late nights, long practices and rehearsals, more aching parts, and more sweat (maybe cold at night). Water will become your new best friend. Welcome it with open arms. There is also fun stuff at band camp though (Skit nights, bonfire, etc.) Make sure you can play at least up to an above the staff C on your clarinet. Looks like this: http://sightreadingmastery.com/blog/how-... Not say you WILL have to play that high. But it's always nice to be prepared. So, you will have long work ahead of you. Hot days, cold nights, aching body, sweat and frizzy hair, and possible lack of energy. But you will also have new friends, unforgetable memories, big laughs, experience, and the andrenaline of performing. Once you step on that field, it's like a whole new beginning. Best of luck to you!
Social anxiety and possibly working as a cashier (please help!)?
Ok, so i just filled out an application at a shoe store and i'm nervous and excited at the same time. I'm 22 and if i get the job it will be my second job. I worked at a flower shop once and it was a bit challenging for me because of my anxiety. I get really nervous when i'm around people because i don't want to mess up and look like an idiot around them. I always over think things and i am not good when a lot of customers come in because i feel like i have to work quicker and i freak out!! With me being nervous about interacting with people i think that it's best if i just organized shoes and put them on shelves instead of working as a cashier but my aunt said that they may make me work as a cashier sometimes when it gets a bit hectic in the store and when they do not have enough people. This scares me and i just need someone to help calm my nerves. Can anyone out there relate to this? Have you had to work as a cashier with social anxiety? How was it? I'm a bit nervous.............
How can lie detectors distinguish between lying and anxiety?
They can't. Lie detectors are not actually lie detectors--they're stress detectors. If you have anxiety, the detector will show it. If you don't have anxiety and can lie calmly, the lie detector will show you as being "truthful."They try to control for anxiety by asking calibration questions the examiner already knows the answer to, such as "is today Tuesday?" and "is your name Fred?" Those supposedly set a baseline, with thei idea being that lies add more stress on top of that. Does it work? No. In fact, it gives you a way to beat lie detectors. Put a rock in your shoe, Step down on it during the calibration questions. That causes you pain and increases your anxiety. That sets a high baseline. When you lie, don't step down on the rock. Your body relaxes because you aren't in pain, and the lie detector doesn't register the lie.Lie detectors are often regarded as pseudoscience:The Pseudoscience Of Lie DetectorsPolygraphThe Skeptic Encyclopedia of Pseudoscience
Really nervous about meeting this guy tomorrow, help?
Well I started to talk to this guy on msn and texting and stuff a few weeks ago and now we've decided to meet up, coz he lives really close and stuff, he's bring a few of his friends so it's not going to be that bad but i'm so nervous, like really really nervous. I like him quite a bit, he says i'm beautiful and gorgeous and that I make him happy, I really do like him and i'm very nervous as if only had like 1 boyfriend before, I don't like meeting new people, and i'm actually shaking i'm that nervous, anyone got any help, tips to calm me down and what i should do when I meet him?