I'm drifting away from my best friend, of 8 years?
Okay, so im fourteen years old, and i just started high school about .. 3 months ago. Since then, i have met some new friends, but i have also kept quite a strong and close relationship with my old friends as well. One of my old best friends, i've been spending too much time with one of my new friends "Shadana "Madison" feels like". I feel like i've spent enough time with both of them, equally. I always hang out with Madison on weekends, and even at school - all the time! I also find time to spend with Shadana, on weekends sometimes, and at school. Shadana is in my class, and Madison is not. I feel like my best friend Madison, is slipping away. And im scared of losing her, i mean i love her A lot! (sisterly love), and i also love Shadana A lot ! Even when i try to hang out with Madison at school, she kind of just shrugs me off, to go hang out with the guy she likes, and her other best friend (i dont like her, shes like my worst enemy, we used to be best friends, but not anymore) "Brianne", yah Madison loves to hang out with her more than me. Shes been acting different lately and i want to know why. I've asked her about it, and this is the response i was given : Me - Are you mad at me? Madison - ????? Me - I'm just wondering. Madison - ???????? What do you mean? Me - Are you mad at me? Do you still like me? Madison sends you a nudge. Me - ... Madison - What the heck? What are you talking about? Me - You still havent answered me... Madison - Obviously i still like you ... Me - I'm just wondering, you've been acting different around me.. Madison - How? Just lately we don't talk because your always with Shadana? Me - I'm not always with Shadana? You always leave to go to lunch with Brianne before i come upstairs from my classes. So i just go with Shadana, because you left. Madison - Oh. Me - Ya.. Me - We never hang out at lunch anymore. Your always with Brianne, or with your other friends. Madison - Ya. Me - ... ? Madison - What? i just agreed with you. Me - Okay... I have to go, Bye. Madison - Bye. Does she still want to be friends? What can i do to fix this!
I only have 3 friends right now?
I'm at 16 year old girl (going into my 11th grade year) and it almost seems as if I have been stressed out for a year now because I lost my group of friends. I had a group of friends my whole life, about 8 of us until 10th grade. In 10th grade we all kind of just separated. We were all way too different. I tried to tolerate them but by 10th grade I couldn't take it anymore. There's only 1 girl from that group that I'm best friends with. The thing is, I really only have 3 friends right now and it's a huge struggle for me to find plans all the time. I cry all the time because it's embarrassing knowing I only have 3. I feel like I don't even talk to anyone anymore and I just feel so depressed now matter what I do. There's a guy that I'm talking to at the moment and it's nice to have someone right now but I'm afraid to get too happy over it. My mom yells at me for sitting in a lot and says "you have no friends" and makes me feel horrible. There is no going back to this group no matter what, they are completely different than me and haven't matured at all. I need advice, am I over reacting? Is ok to only have a few friends? How can I feel happier and make this stress go away.
How is it to have no childhood friends?
It is very possible to have few childhood friends, you have to look back and understand yourself and the dynamics in which you grew up. For example, in my family situation, my mother truly never should have had any children. She wanted us to look perfect, be dressed perfect, act perfect…never to be seen or heard except when she needed us to be. It was ‘60s, during those days, there was no family therapy or why you could or could not do things. When your parents said you couldn’t do this and you asked, the answer was because I said so. You never questioned that, as I so often did and was constantly getting physically and emotionally abused. I grew a hard shell on the outside yet in school, most thought I was a bit shy, cute, quiet and had the perfect white picket gate type of home life. I never spoke out and told the truth until later in life. I was embarrassed by my upbringing. I could go to other people’s homes but I was not allowed to have other friends over. When I did, my mother would constantly be yelling at me not to walk in the dining room or living room or etc etc etc….she was very strict. We would get the house dirty….therefore I could never reciprocate having friends over and was afraid to tell others how my childhood life truly was. Therefore, I have childhood acquaintances through my sporting activities but not best friends as many of my friends recollect. That doesn’t mean you’ll have those friends forever. I’ve now learned that I’ve had many close friends for 10 -20 years and then they move on have their own lives and families which takes up most of their time. It’s not always a reflection of you, it’s just life. Be happy if you have some close friends, doesn’t have to be many!! Those are your true friends who are there for you during the good and the worst of times. You’ll know, and not many of those are lifetime friends. The people who have those type of friends are extremely lucky and blessed. So I am right there with you about having no childhood friends…As when I go back to my high school reunions, so many of my classmates refer to me and talk about me like they really knew me and we were buddies…go figure that one, right?
I lost all my friends after high school. I don't have one friend that I can say I've known for years. Is this normal?
I’m pretty sure this is normal.I never cultivated any meaningful relationships in High School. Because of it I felt like an outcast, which made me have a pessimistic outlook in life. High School in a lot of ways is like prison because your stuck with the same groups of people for 4 years which creates cliques. My school, like the school in the movie Mean Girls theres always groups. Everyday when I walked into the commons, and as I got off the bus I’d see a line of people scatter and walk into their designated place, and when you would look around there was nothing but clumps. Clusters. And because no one really took an interest in me because of my obscure interests, I was alone, but this one group which were what I called the ‘weeaboos’ because they would talk about anime and only anime, for some strange reason let me in even though I didn’t like anime. I have nothing against anime- but I grew annoyed by it because none of them wanted to talk about anything else. Most people talk about a variety of things, like their family, other interests, movies (that isn’t anime). But these guys would only talk about anime, except maybe on occasion, Video Games like Skyrim. Especially Skyrim.It was almost as if outcasts would also come to this group and conform into liking anime just so they had a place to be. I couldn’t stand it, and I’ve tried befriending other people but they just didn’t find me interesting. Probably because I always talked about unusual things and had obscure interests. I only made one really good friend and we still talk- which is rare. And I just started talking to her in senior year.So yeah your not alone- High School is just…extremely superficial. Just keep being yourself and learn as much as you can. Don’t stress over it too much. If a person leaves your life then fine. They just lost a loyal friend.Edit: Especially since people are going to different colleges this is also another major contributing factor- and because of this people lose touch.
Best Friend?
um well my best friend is my twin we fight like crazy and its hard because we cant leave the house from one another...but like i get mad when she doesnt invite me places and same for her we have other best friends but we know we will always be best friends till the end...but if you firght with yours try taking a little break for a little bit..or something
Our friend has lied to us for almost 8 years now?
Hi, my friend is a Jehovah's Witness. She told us she was when we all got really close about 3 years ago. (Me, Ash, Jess, and Claire). Claire is the JW. Jess, Ash, and I never really looked into it because we just thought it was her religion and we didn't have a problem with her being a different religion. She starts acting weird around holidays when our school has decorations up, or has dances, or sings holiday songs. She is never aloud to hang out with us, and she always has an excuse not to...like for my birthday she said a family member was in the hospital, and to hang at the movies she said her parents wouldn't drive her. She has really strong views on morals and love, and she has only loved 3 guys in her whole life, but she wasn't aloud to date any of them. (one was not a witness but the others were). She wanted to do track with us this year, but she isn't aloud to. She wanted to do other sports but she still isn't aloud. We thought these were just her choices, until my friends and I looked up her religion. Turns out she has been lying to us for about 8 years now, ever since we have known her, or three years ever since we have been close. My friends and I are really hurt that she wouldn't just tell us the truth. We want to talk to her about it, but we are afraid she will take offense to it, or be afraid. We really love this girl (as a sister). We just want to be on the same page with her, and have that best friend factor, even though she will never be aloud to associate with us outside of school. Please, can I have some advice to talk to her about this? & some advice on how to deal with this? Thank you so much, any experiences with this would be nice. Note: I have nothing against this religion, I just want to know my friend trusts me, like I have trusted her for the past like, 8 years. Thanks.
Do you still have friends that you knew in primary school?
Yes, my friend, I have a friend that I went to kindergarten with 52 years ago and we still keep in touch thanks to the internet and the good old telephone. I ask her if she had ever been in Yahoo! answers and she said no, but she wanted to know how to get in here, I explained it to her, so now she is starting to come here. I got my daughter hooked on this place too. I went to my 20 year class reunion 18 years ago and saw lots of the kids I went to school with, I was in my home town for a year and saw a lot of them then too.
What are the darkest secrets high school kids keep from their parents?
I’m 16 in the UK year eleven. I think that’s a sophomore?I sat in the bathroom holding a razor to my wrist- you knew I wanted to but never how close it cameAt 14 I had a 16 year old boyfriend you didn’t know about who made me send nudes, cheated on me all the time, tried to sleep with my best friend, pressured me into sex repeatedly and didn’t stop when I asked him to. I told you he sent me rape threats when I got a new boyfriend at 15 and he got jealous. That was true but so was everything he told his housemaster. Still having panic attacks about him. By the way, he went to Radley, one of the most elite boys schools in the country.You have no idea how many girls and guys I know who are either rapists/ sex offenders or the victim. They’re the normal, upper class and lower class boys.I regularly do Class A drugs- I’ve done Coke, MDMA and LSD as well as smoke weed almost every day for three weeks straight last year. You only know I drink.I have constant inappropriate hookups with older guys (I’m just 16), they all think I’m 18 and they’re uni boys.That festival you let me go to last summer? I did coke in a portaloo with random strangers and got fingered by three guys in two days. Not proud of that. You only know I made out with one.Most of my friends are 18 and they’d make you sick theyre so posh. I want to marry a Bullingdon boy like them even if I’m miserable, the social status is so important.I’d do pretty much anything to gain social status and be one of the elite no matter how much you hate it.I’m still predicted 8s and 9s (A* and A**s) this summer. I don’t know how I do it to be honest but as long as my grades don’t drop I know you don’t care and neither do I.
I'm feeling replaced/forgotten by my best friend of 8 years...?
Wow me and my best friend of four years have been going through what sounds like the exact same thing! It really does hit hard i know, but we're sort of patching things up in the past week. If it doesn't get better by itself, (and it sounds like it's been going on for quite a while) then you do need to talk to her, but the KEY is to not make it out as an attack. The biggest mistake that two people who share (or have shared) an important relationship/friendship is that they either don't confront eachother about little things that bother them - maybe because they're afraid of ruining their friendship - or when they do confront eachother it turns out like they're enemies and they're fighting like it's life or death. People who are very close usually do feel less afraid to be angry or have little fights with eachother because they know that their friendship will almost surely withstand it. But when something like this happens when you feel so distant from her and you feel like she's a stranger, then It's very understandable that your feeling so afraid to confront her - especially after last time when she got very mad with you. The absolute most important thing you need to remember when you do choose to speak to her (and i know it's much easier said than done, this is a daunting step, but it needs to be taken) is that you need to approach her as an equal, she may not be aware of how deeply you have been hurt by her and you need to speak in a tone thta is unaccusing, because you can't be making this out to sound like she is an awful person that should be condemned. You've been hurt, but you can recover. Just don't be pointing you finger like she should go to jail. Because most of the time others just get so caught up in their own "more important" aspects of life that they forget who they could be hurting in the process. You must speak to her, but don't go into it expecting a fight, stay level headed and be gentle and yourself, you can only hope that by seeing you as yourself and not someone who has been hurt and lost self confidence she will remember how many good times you've had together and come back down to earth. You will be fine. I really hope this helps you. Good luck hun xo
My "best friend" hasn't talked to me in 3 months?
My best friend hasn't talked to me in 3 months.We had been best friends for about 4 years.I met her in 4th grade when i was the new kid in school.we had been nest friends ever since. then when we got into middle school, it was all normal until around winter break and January. We have kind of been in the "popular" group, but her more than me. I was and i am definitely good friends with that group, but i guess not as much as her. So that group and my best friend always used to go to Starbucks and places like that, but i wasn't allowed to go since my mom wouldn't let me.On the last day of school before winter break, they all went to Starbucks and didn't even ask me to come.i just thought they didn't invite me since they knew my mom would say no.So later in break, i called my friends asking if they wanted to see a movie.No one could come other than my best friend because they were either on vacation, or busy.so it was only going to be me and my friend. On the day we were going to go, i told her i would pick her up. then she was all surprised and said that she thought we weren't doing that anymore since no one else was coming.I figured it was just a misunderstanding.So,i didn't get to do anything with her that break.In January when we went back to school, everything was normal.They out again without inviting me, even though i knew where they were going.She hasn't talked to me since then. I keep thinking thinking that she left cuz im not cool enough.I just want to knowwhy she left