Do I have a right to be angry at my parents for the way that they raised me?
Yes, you most certainly have a right. We are only given one set of parents after all. But, the sooner you pass through this stage of anger, the better - for you. In the end, you will be the one who suffers the most, not them!Often in life how we feel is not felt or reciprocated in the same way and with the same intensity by others. And, often (unless it was outright physical abuse) the ‘perpetrators’ may not even recognise that they have hurt you, or the harm they have done you is a silently recurring nightmare in your hopeless relationship. They will just wonder “Why do we have such a hard time communicating with John*? “Why does a nice day always go sour?” Especially if your upbringing was their cultural norm then, to themselves, they may think they are the best parents on earth! (In the meantime, you're still wallowing in self pity which is putting your life on hold).So, you have to come to terms with the resentment you feel for your parents and the consequent anger it is producing in your life each day. Anger is a toxic emotion and it is not something our minds and bodies were meant to endure for a long time.You will need somewhere you can vent your anger. If it is not with a professional then seek solace through a religious leader in your community, a trusting friend, a counsellor at university (especially if it's having a negative effect on your studies) anyone with whom you know will listen without judgment or bias and whos lips will be sealed and whose approach will be loving and patient.Now, each day you must arise with a forgiving heart toward your parents. Each time a memory or relapse into bitterness occurs say “They are my parents. I love them. They did not know their parenting was bad. I forgive them.” (Don't be surprised if in the next breath you ‘hate’ them again! The road to forgiveness and healing is a LONG journey. But remember…In the long run it will be YOU who will benefit the most!God bless.*John is a fictional name only.
How do I get rid of pent up anger and frustration I have towards my parents who sabotaged my dreams and desires?
I had my own set of anger and frustration towards my parents. I had a lot of "If only I hadn't listened to them", "If only I was given more freedom", stuff troubling me every now and then. This had taken deep roots by the time I had to prioritize family and quit my 10 years of IT life. Initially I started reading books to overcome my fear of suddenly becoming dependent on my husband and losing my monthly hefty pay checks. One after the other, books of Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer helped me to understand my life from a different perspective. Pranic Healing meditations helped me to accept life from a different perspective. I owe a lot of gratitude to @http://www.neowayacademy.com and Mr. Ashlesh Rao - with whom I did my NLP courses. Every belief that my parents, peers, inlaws and the society had set in me where limiting me from living the life of my dreams. The powerful sessions from Ashlesh helped me to breakthrough these beliefs. When I did my Gestalt Therapy sessions with Rev. Dick McHugh, I realized the power behind forgiving people, accepting them and embracing them for their roles in my life. Though I was the person doing all the courses, I started seeing a drastic change with people around me. My husband became very supportive of my dream to become a Life Coach and a Mind Coach. My parents, in laws and kids started appreciating me for what I am. A lot of awareness also comes hand in hand when we accept life the way it is and learn to live in the moment. I wish you too get the strength to face these limitations and work on them. If you don't have the time to do the courses or to read books to work on yourself, I would urge you to consult coaches / therapists to work on this issue and get this sorted out. You would really start living a dream-come-true life!! Wish you all success :)
Why do I have so much anger towards my parents?
My mom has become the most pious and humble woman I know, shes had a very sad past and has gone through significant sufferings. she thing about others first and her needs last. I had a great relationship with her once, I supported her for a few years while putting my education on hold cuz she really needed me. However, Im stuck with the things Ive heard her say that were really cruel to me. I felt that sometimes the advice she would give me in relationships really destroyed my life and outlook of people. Now everything is changed, I feel disconnected with her and everything else, but I still love and care for her at the same time. I want to help her but Im not capable just yet. Ive become short tempered and even snappy sometimes because I dont feel she really loves me. I really dont want to be one of those whose disrespectful to their parents, but I dont know whats come over me. I literally dont trust anyone anymore. And I doubt they wish the best for me. I dealt with a very difficult past and I wont point fingers, but I know that ive changed to someone else around her. I love her but I dont trust the advice or decisions because I feel shes a bit too innocent about the real world. I dont want bad karma or have this come back to me when I have children of my own. I feel as if I'm not doing enough for her, and every time we talk, Im left feeling down and depressed than before as if nothing will ever get better. I dont know how to handle this relationship with her. I cannot talk about these things with her at all. She is understanding but has a different mindset. I feel awful slashing out when Im provoked about something. Who have I become? I'm losing the connection with the people in my life who I really loved once because I cannot trust them. What is the right thing to do ?
Have your parents ever gotten violent towards you?
I’m a girl and my dad was trying to hit me just now! He was twisting my arms and I could’ve been seriously injured. He has gotten violent towards everyone at home before and broken things. He has seriously injured me before. I want to press charges but I think no one will believe me. Because he lies and gaslights me.
How do I stop having such a bad attitude towards my parents?
It's normal for teenagers to get into a bad relationship with their parents. Your bodies changing and your starting to want privacy (something which most parents do not understand lol) They want to know everything and are always sticking their noses is personal stuff, telling you what to do, saying no alot and telling you off. I'm 22 now but was the exact same with my parents, now im older i can see that my parents wern't trying to ruin my life or be mean they were trying to help me and doing it because they loved me. It did get to the point though where i wouldn't have to do anything, but my parents were so used to my bad attitude that they would accuse of of starting a fuss and i geuinely wasn't, this resulted in me acting in the way they expected. i wish that i had sat down with my parents and told them how i feel, and heard how they felt too it would of saved a lot of years of arguing and hurtful things being thrown around. I suggest you say to your parents you would like to talk about your relationship, dedicate a few hours to this and sit in a room and talk. Be prepared to hear critising and negative things said about you and accept them dont get on the defensive or retaliate with hurtful comments, no one needs to shout to be heard. If you are having trouble listening to one another maybe get an object and only the person hold the object can talk at the time. I hope this helps x
Why am I so angry at my parents all the time?
Hey girl, I also read the whole thing and it sounds like there is a lot of things going on that are not good. If what you wrote is accurate, I doubt it’s just hormones. It sounds like you are in an abusive situation. If you ARE getting beat, report it at once and find someplace safe to go. You do not need to stay in a place where you are being abused mentally or physically. Good for you for taking your weight and changing it. Some people (sounds like your family) see it as almost impossible to do that. You are a strong person. If the authorities do not see fit to allow you to leave that situation, realize your family is not like you. You know you can control your life. It doesn’t sound like they understand that. Many people do not. They are acting like objects, or victims. This would be why they control you, they feel like they can not control themselves. Do not allow yourself to fall into that trap yourself. See if you can separate your frustration with what your family does and who they are. This will allow you to be more patient with them. Also, find positive ways to ask your parents to not call you names, if at all possible. It will not be possible in an abuse situation. Again, if this is the case, find a safe way to report it to the authorities and GET OUT. Another thing you can do is refuse to call your family names and say negative things to them. This can be VERY VERY difficult (especially in a situation like yours) but it might lighten the retaliation and the habit will help you in the future. Good luck in your hard decisions. Brook Owen Success 101 Coach fromhomeschooltocollege.com
I have so much anger and bitterness towards my father. What should I do?? I?
Me and my father was close until I became depressed. I was 12 going on 13. I tried to overdose and pointed a knife at my mom. Something that leaves a scar till this day. Sometime in may 2012 my father and I got into a violent dispute and nearly killed me. Threw me against the wall and choked me. I black out. I hated him ever since. It still brings tears to my eyes. Then a day after my 14th birthday I didnt do anything to him. I was cooking myself something to eat in the kitchen. He bothers me somehow i forgot the words i said but then he comes out of no where and says he hates me, im nothing, worthless, ugly and wishes i was dead. A day after my birthday and he says all this. He apologized like 10 mins after when i was sobbing like hell on my bed but i still hate him. Then he makes it worse by smashing my laptop since i refused to give it to him since i wouldnt go to school. That made me so mad. I hate him but ive been trying to look inside myself to forgive him but I cant. I keep crying everytime i think about what hes done to me. Im crying right now as I ask this question. So please tell me how i can forgive him so that I can move on from all this pain and hate in my mind and heart and to put a rest to all these tears at once.