What should I do if I have to marry someone I don't love because my parents want me to? I love someone else; what's the right thing to do?
I know it sounds very mean but it's true.You husband/wife is your sole life partner.It's your life. Not your parents'.I have never been married but I do know that a bad marriage or a marriage that you do not like will destroy your life in a permanent way.I won't say that the person you like is the best person for you. But the one that you do not like is definitely not OK for you.Please tell your parents what you think and do not keep contact with the person your parents want you to marry to.You parents might be furious and say that you will not be their kid if you do not marry this person or it's not right culturally or whatever.But PLEASE, respect your own feelings and love yourself. No one can do it better than you do. If you marry a person who you do not love, your nightmare begins. When you are like 80, your parents cannot be there for you. but your husband/wife will be. Imagine you are stuck with someone you hate for several decades. Definitely a very bad idea.
I don’t see myself marrying him?
Listen to your gut. You are fooling yourself if you think you can change him, and he has proven to you he isn't going to change on his own. While I know things can be great some of the time, you have to face the fact that he isn't the right person for you and admit it to yourself and him. Its hard to do so since things aren't that bad, and going back to finding someone new is so difficult, but sometimes the more difficult path is best. This sort of thing is actually very common and many just make the mistake of moving forward and marrying under the belief the other person will eventually change making for a short marriage when it doesn't happen. And something tells me that isn't what you want to happen. Good Luck. PS. The right one to marry will be your best friend as well as your lover. They will be just as generous as you if not more and you will not have the gnawing feeling you have now. The future will be about possibility, not about what you hope will change in your present life.
Should I marry someone who loves and cares for me very much, but I do not love him?
Lady! cut the crap! LOVE is extremely overrated. Even if you are not feeling in "love" today, you will eventually feel that way over a period of time. BTW what exactly do you mean by "feeling in love"? like someone has already alluded to, are you really referring to "feeling horny"? if yes, then believe me even if you get married to someone else for whom you lust for, there will be a day if not sooner but later on in your life when you will feel the exact same way for someone else and the very husband you chose might really not get you cranked up. So its just a passing phase. If you are talking about marriage, I assume you have been through all these passing phases of fooling around. Now that's over. Marriage is serious business. People lose millions of dollars, their favorite mansions, their beloved mutts, sometimes children and what not over this If this guy is really treating you 100x times than any normal guy you have met, then go get him. My wife digs for a man like that even today ;-) Marry him, you will eventually fall in love. You are kinda wired to fall in love with a person whom you marry (100x or 1/10x), atleast that happens in over 85% of the marriages in India, the place where I come from. Dont really fret too much over this.
Am I wrong for disowning my son for marrying her?
I don't want anything else to do with him. He married my half brother's granddaughter. This makes her his second cousin removed, because my brother is his half uncle.They may not be close in kin but I don't feel it is right and it's breaking my heart. Any suggestions? Am I wrong for feeling this way?
I love my boyfriend, but don't see myself marrying him. Should I break up with him?
Eesh. It's always tough when you have these mixed emotions. It makes you feel guilty! Why don't you see yourself marrying him? Does he not seem like he would be a good husband? You could make a pros and cons list. Pros for how he would be a good husband (and father...that comes later of course). Also list the cons (keep in mind we all have cons!). If you are just wanting to explore and "sow your wild oats" you may regret your decision on down the road. What if he found someone else later on and married her? How do you think you would feel about that? My husband actually broke up with me when we first started going out. He was afraid that I would make him give up his friends for me. I don't know why he thought this, because I had no intention of making him give up his friends. During the break up I was confused and didn't know what my emotions were at first, but when it hit me that I would never see him again and that he would eventually find someone else, it killed me. That's when I wrapped my arms around him and literally wouldn't let him leave. Haha. I know it sounds pathetic, but I loved him. Of course he pryed me off and left, but he did regret the decision of breaking up with me and came back to me a day or two later. He eventually proposed to me and now we have been married for 2 years and are trying to have children. You are probably wondering where I am going with this, but my husband was afraid I would make him give up his friends, but I am friends with all his friends and I always play video games and stuff with them. One of his friends who just got married...his wife won't even spend time with his friends. So I turned out to be something he didn't think I would be. My point is, maybe you have the wrong assumption of who he will be and how you will be when you are married. My husband and I are very close and love each other very much. We are very happy together. Just don't give someone up because you think the grass is greener. Seriously give this thought.
My boyfriend wants to marry me but I don't have a drivers license. Will this hugely affect our relationship/marriage?
I have terrible anxiety about driving and it's crippled me my entire adulthood. I am almost 27. MY heart begins to beat out of my chest as soon as i get in the driver's seat. I have been avoiding going to therapy but i'm finally deciding to get help for this because I know it's not normal to be this afraid. I am going to make it my duty to get in counseling and overcome this so I can be an independent adult. I can't even drive myself to the grocery store without having a major panic attack and black out. I don't want to live like this. I don't want to live in a constant state of extreme fear and paranoia. I am worried this will consume me and my future marriage will be on the rocks because of it. My boyfriend is 35 and wants to marry me. He says he loves me, we've been together for 4 years and he's not getting any younger. He wants to get married very soon within this year but the problem is once we get married and move in together he will have to drive me everywhere until I can get my license and it will be a huge burden on him. I am afraid he will resent me for it. Right now, It's not really that stressful for him because the driving is dividided amoung my dad, my mom, and him so he doesn't have to do ALL the driving everyday. My mom will take me to work, my dad takes me to the grocery store, and my boyfriend will take me to the bank and other mischellanious places, sometimes he will also pick me up from work. my boyfriend never complains about having to drive me places.
If a man loves you but doesn't want to marry you, what does that mean?
These days it means he's smart. If a marriage tanks the way things are now the man just gets beat to his knees and it's very hard to recover afterwards. There is no law in family court and whatever the woman says is gospel. I walked into that place with a mansion of a house, two kids, the cars and the idea of a fair split and left with zero. She never worked a day in twenty years and told two unimaginable lies in that court and sank me. So if you were a man would you consider marriage? I know I will never do it again no matter who she is. If you really want to see if that falls into your category then tell him you'll sign a 50/50 split pre nup no matter what the circumstances of the divorce are if it's to happen and then see if you can get him motivated. Honestly the only benefit for a guy in marriage is a bigger tax return. And in reality once she figures out there's a tax return annually she takes half of that for her use only for whatever while he pays more bills with his half. So that isn't even a gain. I think women who are true 50/50 honest and motivated partners should consider not pressuring the marriage thing so much. Take the stress out of the relationship and live together without the worry. The relationship would probably last and divorce lawyer thieves would go broke. If you're true in love and you feel you'll always be able to take care of yourself with or with out him in the picture then the only thing marriage is good for is a framed marriage license on the wall to ease the females family pressures. Why do you want marriage so bad? What is the reason? If he's gonna cheat he'll do it married or not? So if you aren't planning on just using the guy for life long support with or without him you shouldn't be pressuring him at all. Let the guy ask you to marry him. It'll happen if the loves there. You females don't let us do it our way and on our timing so it takes the romance out of it all anyway. He says he loves you then take that for now. If you absolutely need to marry and don't want to wait you may want to find someone older and more marriage minded. Good luck. "a guy would have to be two minutes away from death to marry if you ask me" But yeah good luck. Hope you find happiness.
How do you know your ready to get married?
Im 25 and I have a boyfriend I have been with for almost two years. I don't know how to tell if I want to marry him or not. I love him, but I do sometimes get jealous of my single friends because they have so much fun flirting with and meeting guys. How can you tell if you just dont want to marry someone or if your just not ready yet???
Can a marriage work if you are no longer in love?
We fall madly in love, don’t we, thinking (feeling rather) that it will last forever and is enough for a serious relationship. However, it’s very hard to live on an emotional high for very long. Eventually we start to come down from the ecstasy, excitement, strong passions and desires, typically after around 18 months to three years (people vary of course). If couples are friends, discuss their mutual values, shared ambitions, interests, etc., in some depth (obviously there will be some differences, which help make relationships interesting), and make plans, work on their personal development, etc., this can develop into a long and wonderful relationship. If one party feels insecure or low in self respect, it can make for a difficult partnership. It's easy to behave at our best when in love, but marriage, for example, requires a lot of self discipline, sacrifice, compromise and flexibility. If a strong friendship is not in place, the relationship will probably peter out eventually - or worse. Quite often we fall in love because we are lonely and allow ourselves to be won over by anyone who takes an interest in us. Thus we give away control to somebody else if we are not careful. This is another reason for taking things very slowly, and really getting to know someone before committing ourselves or getting too emotionally or sexually involved. Sex can be emotionally bonding, which is disastrous if the other things are not there: strong friendship, similar values and standards, common interests, etc.