Tips for my personal statement?
Wow. I enjoyed your writing. But universities want to know more about you. It seemed like 75% of your essay was about your family troubles, but only 25% was about how you overcame it and how it shaped you. You need to switch the two, and spend more time talking about yourself than about your parents. But wow...I'm so sorry about your childhood. I really liked the last section about how this experience has made you into a stronger and better person. That section of your essay has made me admire you, which is what you want the universities to feel. You want them to admire you, not feel sorry for you. But overall, after I finished reading, I felt more depressed than refreshed and inspired. Again, I think it's because you focused too much on your family troubles, and not enough about how you vibrantly overcame those challenges.
One grammatical error on my personal statement for university?
No it won't. Universities care primarily about your unweighted GPA and your SAT or ACT score. Unless your essay is outright horrible (in grammar, structure, etc), this won't matter. And by the way, this question is full of grammatical errors. If this is the pattern in your writing, you'd better hope your editors are good with English. Actually, after reviewing some of your other questions & answers, I notice really bad grammar throughout. So this is a pattern with you. Is English not your mother-tongue?
I just realized I made a minor typo on the personal statement for my law school application. Should I inform them (and give them a corrected version) or let it go?
If the “typo” is in any way material, you must disclose it. Failure to do so could result in you getting admitted and then expelled after you’ve paid tuition and board and completed part of your education. Indeed, if the material error is discovered later, it could be the basis for denying your Bar admission after you’ve completed your legal education and passed the Bar exam. The lie could be much much worse than the truth.If the “typo” was a typographical error with no material impact, such as typing “thr” when you meant to type “the” and the spell-checker didn’t catch it, leave it alone. It may show you lack sufficient precision to be a great lawyer, but that’s what they hope to teach you in law school. If you call attention to the immaterial error, use it as an excuse for an extra essay to make your application stand out. I’m not sure how you can do that in light of your typo, but find a way to show your creativity … or say nothing.
Where can I get my personal statement reviewed?
MS applicants should definitely check out MasterMyApplicationThey do not just review and edit your SOP, but also provide you with mentors from the top 5 universities in the world. They show you the profile of the person who edits your SOP, who is most often a graduate of Stanford, CMU, Georgia Tech or any other esteemed university.If you are particularly looking for MS in Computer Science SOP, then you should visit their dedicated page MS in Computer Science SOP and Essays Review - MasterMyApplicationFurther, they provide a complete breakdown of various MS in US universities, in terms of Salary packages, Fees, Acceptance Rates, and GRE average. You can find these reports hereMy friends who applied to MS in US had a wonderful experience with them.
Help with my UC personal statement!?
You should not post essays online. I have already heard several complaints from students who believe their essays were stolen by fellow classmates and/or random people from online forums. Your job is to use the Personal Statement to paint a picture for the application evaluators on how you have progressively pursued your interest through your coursework and extracurricular activities and that you are well prepared for advanced studies in your field at the UC level. Make sure you respond to the prompt fully and address 1) your intended major; 2) how you became interested in the field; 3) any experience you had in that field (academic coursework, research, student clubs, internships, work experience, etc.); and 4) what you have learned from those experiences.
What do you think of my UC Personal statement (prompt 1)??
The general tone and what you have to say are good. You have some grammatical problems and a few style problems. Get rid of the word "furthermore." Don't start with "In my seventeen years of life," -- just start with "I have come to realize" or something like that. Also, always spell out numbers when it is one through ten -- but never if over ten. You have a few problems using present tense when you should use past tense and using singular when you should use plural. "I come to realize why my parents and family pushes me to work hard in school. " There are two problems here. It should be "I have come to realize" rather than "I come to realize" But you are also repeating a phrase that you just used. "I now realize" might be better. Use more formal titles -- Mother instead of Mom, Grandfather instead of Grandpa, etc. Tighten up your prose -- for example, I would change: "Furthermore, my mom told me to get the best possible grades I can in order to get accepted to one of the best universities in California and to strive for success no matter how challenging it is" to something like: My mother has always encouraged me to get the best possible grades in order to be accepted at the best universities in California, and to strive to succeed no matter what the challenge. This phrase "Their tendency to encouragement" seems particularly clumsy. Why not just "Their encouragement. . . ." Here is another one where you have a tense problem, or use singular rather than plural: "My family encourage me to choose" You should either use "encourages" or "encouraged." You also need to break the essay up into paragraphs. I might sound picky here -- but you have a good start for your essay. Refine it, and ask your English teacher to comment on it.
Is having a sad personal statement good?
I have written my personal statement 2 weeks ago, and I gave it to my Eng teacher to read it and give some feedback on how to improve it. The prompt asked us to write about a life experince that changed us, when she read it she started crying, and she told me it was very compelling and reflective. Should I submit it? or should I change it just in case the college admis read it and start crying then decide they don't want the girl who made them cry, lol. I don't know.
Conclusion for my personal statement!?
The second is better. The first has a little bit too much personal information in and repeats itself more while saying less. A couple of edits though: I am grateful of where I come from and where I have been. [Don't need a comma before an 'and'.] Even though I was forced to grow up very quickly, it was because of this that I gained a strong sense of responsibility at a young age; a trait that has continued with me and is evident in the dramatic change I made with my life. OR Even though I was forced to grow up very quickly, it was because of this that I gained a strong sense of responsibility at a young age. This is a trait that has continued with me and is evident in the dramatic change I made with my life. [The sentence you've written beginning with 'A trait...' isn't a proper sentence as it stands at the moment.] My past has inspired me to be all that I can be, and not settle for less. I am grateful for the maturity that I have gained because it has helped me succeed in school, in becoming co-captain of the Dance Team and captain of the Mock Trial Team. [Take out the comma before the 'and' again.] However, this is merely the beginning, for I aspire to achieve much more though college. My main priority is to receive a degree in law. Yet I continue to I have a thirst for the knowledge needed to give back to my community, to help others in the way my teacher has helped me, but most importantly to be prove that what really matters is not where one comes from, but where one's heading. Other than those couple of little bits, that looks really good. Good luck with it. If you're going to use the first one, definitely do some editing. "my parents absence" should be written as: "my parents' absence" [with the apostrophe]. And also, have a read through of it - you repeat phrases really close to each other, like "strong sense of responsibility" in the first and second sentence. Try to think of a different way of phrasing one of them.