At what age did you start wedding planning?
I got engaged when I was 18 (just a few months shy of 19) and got married when I was 21. I bought one bridal magazine right after we got engaged, browsed through a bit, saw the edfot needed and costs of a traditional wedding, and thought "this is not for me". My husband just cared about getting married, not the frills. So we waited a while until we were ready, and got married at the courthouse. Beyond making myself a dress and my husband a suit (he needed one anyways), we didn't do any planning. To me, the wedding just wasn't as important as the marriage to follow. We wanted to start our marriage without any unnecessary stress and have money in the bank. Dropping a load of money on a few hour long party that took a year+ of stressful planning just wasn't for us. To answer your question, I do see where some people really want a nice, bigger wedding, but you can't forget that it isn't the wedding that matters. It's the 60+ years of marriage that follows that matters. The fact you aren't even in a serious relationship, and are already putting so much emphasis on a wedding should tell you that you're obsessing way too much. Beyond not being a healthy or normal thing to do, the fact you seem so interested in having a perfect to the last detail wedding could cloud your judgement in the future when you find a boyfriend. The guy may not be right for you at all, resulting in an unhappy marriage, or worse, divorce. Yet you'll jump into marriage without even stepping back to consider the man your marrying, because all you want is a wedding. That's a very bad situation to put yourself into, marrying the first willing guy who comes along. You probably won't even realize it until it's too late, because all you can envision is some sort of fairy tale ending in your head. Just because the wedding is perfect doesn't mean the marriage will be. If I were that obsessed over anything, I would consider seeing a psychologist, and certainly do anything in my power to curb the obsession (in your case, not worrying about a wedding until after you are engaged to the right person). Not trying to be mean, but it really isn't good to be obsessing this much over anything. Push this subject out of your mind for now. Date until you find the right man, and once you've found him, wait for him to properly propose before taking up any kind of wedding planning again.
What to do when a friend steals your wedding ideas?
To be fair, "your" wedding has probably been done a million times before. The time (how many options can there be?), the colours etc. But I can see how you'd be upset, especially if you think she has done it consciously. Seeing as you had yours planned first, I think it is perfectly fair for you to let her know that seeing as the dates are so close, you won't be able to commit to helping her too much as you'll be busy with your own. One way you could up her though on the colours thing is to send your invitations out first and make sure they are the colour/theme of your wedding. Then the people going to both will get yours first and hers will seem like a copy. The only thing you can do to guarantee your weddings are different is change everything. But why should you have to? Just grit your teeth and keep going. On the day it won't matter. Don't give up your dream wedding just because she is copying some elements. As long as she doesn't decide to marry your fiance as well, you'll have a beautiful day. You never know, she might end up changing her mind. You could test out the waters and let her know that you really liked her idea for *flowers* and you'll probably do the same. If she gets upset, just looked shocked and say - well I thought seeing as you were doing the same *sash colours* as me, you wouldn't mind me doing the same *flowers*. I'm sorry, I didn't realise you were so sensitive. She might take the hint and change her plans. If not, then you know she's in her own little wdding world and nothing you can do will change it. I agree with fiance though, and maybe be discreet about any new ideas. If she asks what you're doing, just say - I'm not sure. I have a few ideas but haven't decided yet. Good luck and remember the most important part is you're getting married, not that you're having a big party.
What do newly engaged couples misunderstand of marriage?
I once knew a guy who used to argue with his girlfriend a lot. It was mostly little things, the kind of stuff that didn’t even seem worth talking about let alone fighting over. But they did fight, and aggressively. Then they got married.That seemed odd, but the really strange bit happened when he came to me in utter bewilderment. You see, he honestly thought that they would stop arguing once they were married.Of course I asked him why he thought that. He said that being married was supposed to change everything. I pointed out that they never fought about getting married, and that was the only thing which had changed. He didn’t understand.So my answer to you is that while marriage is a wonderful thing, and making this kind of commitment to someone can give both of you a sense of peace, security and emotional support, it doesn’t actually change anything. Problems don’t magically disappear. You won’t suddenly agree on everything.But the good news is that if you’ve figured out a way to talk through your disagreements, if you already have a habit of negotiating and compromising on important issues, then marriage won’t change that either. You’re already fine.Or, as I say of my husband and myself, we got to “happily ever after” long before we got married.
Brother got engaged 7 weeks after me...?
yes that is so rude. I would move up the date. OR go to your brother and talk to him about changing his date. Or consider a double wedding (it also saves money). You can have 1 ceremony (or 2 ceremonies on the same day or one the day before and one the next day if the brides want their own ceremony) and then have a joint reception. It will save you money and you will have all the out of town relatives there. That is the only way I can see this working out fairly. Having a joint reception. It was very rude of your brother and I am sorry for you and your bride. My brother also proposed to his GF the same weekend as my bridal shower! I told him that I would be upset if he proposed before my wedding which was less than a month away because I knew my mother and father would suddenly focus on my brother and his fiance. I was so upset. Because that exactly happened. He didnt listen to me and proposed to her just before my wedding. ON my bridal shower weekend! So that right after my shower we had to have an announcement. And then the focus was off me and I was so upset. Because it was the one time where the family was to focus on me. He didnt care. Oh and did I mention I wasnt even asked to be in his wedding party even though I didnt let on I was upset. Yet all the siblings on my side and his fiance's side were in the wedding. Nice huh? Thats what family is like. It is RUDE of your guests to choose his wedding because it is first. You sent out the save the dates first. And clearly your brother proposed because his fiance finally had the nerve to tell him he either proposes or their relationship is over when she sees her man's brother get engaged before her. Clearly his fiance had enough of him stringing her along. Thats what happened. My new BF ( i didnt get married to my ex, long story) plans on marrying me soon and his sister is going to be very upset if we get engaged. Because she had a baby with her BF and has been dating him longer than me and my BF (her bro) have been dating. She was pissed to hear he was thinking about getting engaged to me. So I bet if we get engaged she is going to yell at her BF and demand a wedding. And we might have to deal with the same thing of her wanting her wedding first.
Proposing... 1 week AFTER sister got engaged?
Ok, please don't chew me out... I have been planning on proposing to my GF next weekend. I have had the ring in our safe since the first week of January, and have had our reservations at this stunning bed and breakfast on the Lake since November (I planned around her spring break since she is a teacher), and have already put in leave for the 3 days after. Well.... TODAY my GF's sister got engaged. As she and I were congradulating the newly engaged couple, her future brother in law said "Now you just take your time and wait. No need to rush these things." Yes, they have been together for 9 years (versus our 5). He is 27 I think, but her older sister is actually YOUNGER than I am. (I'm 26 and my GF is 24). Anyway, my GF and I have talked about getting married for a while now, and today she expressed that she would feel like people would think that she was just "copying" her sister. I told her its OUR lives. (While thinking... she can just add in "he's had the ring since January!" That way no copying right? Anyway...... I've been planning this for a LONG time now. Should I cancel so not to cause issues? From what I've read girls hate it when friends/siblings get engaged right after them. BUT I don't think I should have to wait because of someone else... what should I do? My parents are even flying in from out of state to "capture" the moment! (Her parents are going to be in Hawaii that weekend) So please... advice! So confused.