I feel like my mom hates me?
Hi I'm 15 and for the past couple of years my relationship with my mom has been pretty bad. I feel like she definitely prefers my 18 year old sister over me, partly because she has real conversations with my sister, but the only time she talks to me is about stuff that has to get done or if she's planning something. If my sister is sick or hurt, she is really sympathetic but with me, she thinks I'm faking it and ignores me. I've been a figure skater for the past 7 years, and she never watches my practices or asks me how I'm doing. I usually carpool to school and skating with a friend, but on the days she has to drive me to the rink, she either goes back home or works on her computer while im practicing. She comes to my skating competitions but it always seems like she would much rather be somewhere else. It seems like she doesn't care about what I do, but she cares a lot about my sister, who is an artist. I've tried to talk to other people about this, but she's always really nice to me when anyone else is around, so it just seems like I'm being bratty. When we're alone she calls me a b*tch and yells at me, but if anyone else is there she acts fake and sweet. I've also been doing track for 2 years, and she hasn't been to any of my meets, or even asked when they are. When I was little we got along great, but ever since like 3rd grade things have been pretty strained. I remember overhearing her tell my sister that I was a brat, and stuff like that. As a kid I was always fatter than my sister, and if my sister asked for a snack, she'd get one, but when I asked, she usually would say I didnt need it. Then in 7th and 8th grade, I had an eating disorder, I was 5'3" and I weighed 80 pounds, and at home she would tell me was too skinny and that I looked gross, but when we were at the doctors, she would say it was just my natural "growth pattern." Sorry this is so long, I'm just really fed up with always feeling hurt or angry at her, and not being able to reach out to anyone about it. I need help! She's my mom, she's supposed to care about my at least a little, right?
My mom hates me because I'm bi...?
I'm sorry this has been tough for you. You are at a very tough age to be dealing with your sexuality in the open. No one thinks you are old enough to know, so they think you are just "going through a phase" and try to knock you out of the phase. That is probably what you mom thinks she is doing. You might want to try and sit her down and have a serious calm conversation with her (sounds like you might have to play the adult!), and just let her know, this is who you are, and it's not going to change. You love her and want to have a good relationship with her, but, if she continues, she is going to destroy her relationship with her daughter. I can't imagine she truly wants that. Anyways. Stay strong. Believe in yourself. And good luck.
Why do I feel my mom hates me?
I used to feel this way. But over time I came to realize that my mom had very low self-esteem. I believe it was the result of having received very negative messages from her own mom who had a very mean streak. I think that in many ways, as a child, teen and young woman I reminded my mother of herself, and she felt a terrible self-loathing. I think the message I was receiving was the message she was feeling toward her own memories. I was a good kid, never gave her any trouble, yet I always felt she was disgusted with me. If you can find any wisdom in this, perhaps you can see that your mom isn’t really feeling that way about you. It’s hard and it’s painful, but try to realize that people are fallible and that the way they act towards you may not have anytning to do with you at all. This insight may make it possible for you to get through these tough years with your own self-esteem intact.
My mom hates me. Does that make me a bad person?
Hi, I doubt very seriously your mom hates you. If she did it would be very, very unusual.I don't know your age or your name for that matter, but I'm guessing your a teen. Not only is this a hard time for you, but its a really hard time for moms. Which may make us come across very hateful sometimes.But one thing you need to try to remember is the reason moms seem to turn into a monster is because when you start becoming independent we suddenly get terrified.You start to be out with friends, you start to talk about driving, or getting ready to drive, you talk about when you are grown and gone, etc.We (moms) have had you around since your first breath. Not to mention nine months before that. Losing you to an accident, or violence scares us beyond belief. So sometimes we might yell when we don't mean to. Ground you when it seems unfair. Take things from you, like your phone or TV, or your time on the computer. and some moms may take a swing at you but does it really hurt? My mom ran me all over the house growing up but I never felt the swats, although I screamed like she was killing me.But the last thing a mom does is hate you even though we may appear that we do.I know you've probably heard all this before but one day it will all make sense. But in the mean time when you and your mom are not in an argument over something that seems silly to you, ask her if she has time to talk to you. Now don't ask when she's cooking or heading out the door. But then simply ask her why she seems to hate you, at least in your eyes. Explain why you feel that way. Tell her what she says that hurts your feelings. Odds are you will find out her behavior is all because she loves you and only wants to protect what she still sees as her little one growing up and she's just overwhelmed with worry for you.If you find this not to be the case, then send me a message and I'll be glad to talk to you.Good luck, I have a feeling after you talk to your mom your going to feel alot better. Mom will probably shed some tears, even though you may never see them.Enjoy these years, you will miss them once your chasing after your own kids. Joy
My mom makes me hate myself?
I think that if you can continue to tolerate her and her negativity then continue to have her in your life and just learn to ignore and not accept her words. Which can be hard to do. I really don't understand why some parents are like this. Sometimes i truly believe it is because they see that you follow and accomplish your dreams. And that you are doing something anything , big or small , that they were never able to do. And it can be just plain old jealousy. I can totally relate to what your saying. My mom has her favorites and it seems when me and my brother come around , especially when people are around she does not pass up the opportunity to put us down, be sarcastic, and rude, There has been times when i have had to basically cut off any communication with her, and when we finally do start talk in again it happens all over again. So it just comes down to if your able to accept her and her ways or if you need to move on with out her in it.
I really hate my mom?
I feel the exact same way you do. There are times when I feel bad for hating her, but then when she's around I just tell her to go away, or shes annoying me. I hate the way she calls so much, the way she has these annoying little tendencies, the way she says things, does things, how stupid she can be, how the simplest things go right over her head, how imature she is, how stupid her decisions are, everything about her. It's completely normal for some ppl to feel that way... I've come to terms with it. And honestly, the reason I hate her so much is for her failings as a parent when I was little.. that might be the reason behind your feelings. I am the way I am because of ME... not her. She did absolutely nothing to raise me and I turned out fine. Some people take parents to be these superior beings who are supposed to be respected and loved, why? Because they gave birth to you? Animals don't appreciate parents as much as humans do... why? Are they considered abnormal because they aren't as attached to their parents as humans are? I never understood how ppl can just say i love you to their parents... I can't, I haven't since i was very little. I don't even remember the last time I said I love you to my mom... cuz i don't. I hate my dad who disowned me. I'm fine without both of them. She's nothing more than the being who gave me life... there are times when I wish she hadn't but what can u do. I'm not suicidal, I'm just realistic, living for myself, and when I have kids, I will respect them, and not ridicule them or neglect them the way she did. By the way, I'm no teenager, I'm 23 years old, full grown adult, still hate her... always will. I don't think I'll get over it at this point, but thats okay. I've come to terms with it.
How do I tell my mom that I hate myself, want to die, been struggling with an eating disorder, and think I'm fat? I don't know how she's going to take it and I'm scared to tell her.
Listen, I'm a mama to 7 babies 4 of them are girls 3 are boys. We have been through a lot together! I became a Momma when I was 16years old, I'm 37 now, so I know a little about being a mom, I also have CPTSD and suicidal depression,As a Mommy, I know she is a lot stronger than you think she is. She was made to handle stuff like this. That's why she is mom! You aren't supposed to struggle alone. I would also bet she has body issues as well. So you two could probably heal each other. But most important, just talk to her or someone if you truly are scared to hurt her which she will be OK I promise. please update when you can.
I really hate my mom. Is that ok?
It’s important to understand the nature of your hatred towards her. There is always a reason for our emotions, especially something as strong as hatred. I personally deeply resent my mom and have so for over half my life. My mom wasn’t giving me the attention I desperately needed as a teenager and I then started to resent her and that resentment has gotten worse of the years. What I can tell you from personal experience is not to swallow it or suppress your emotions. Don’t listen to the painfully misguided people who have attempted to answer your question. They do not have the experience or insight, rather they probably had very good relationships with their mother and cannot understand anyone else who does not. Believe it or not, a lot of people resent their mother. There are just so many letdowns and disappointments which inevitably lead to resentment and then if not addressed, hatred. What I wish to tell you is this: be with your hatred and do not express it towards her in a hateful tone or manner. Express it diplomatically and as a mature adult. Sit with yourself and your feelings - pain, sadness, hurt and hatred. How you handle your hatred is the dictating factor in where you will end up.