When a man goes to see a therapists, why does he always get advice more suitable for women?
Hell yeah. Besides, I find the use of the term "therapist" silly. To me, if a man is genuinely suffering from a serious life situation and needs help, he goes to see a psychiatrist (A PHYSICIAN). None of this social worker nonsense, none of this psychology boo hoo nonsense. The patient goes, describes his symptoms, 5 minutes, the physician orders a few lab tests (if indicated) and writes a script. None of this panzy talk about getting in touch with some feminine crap. None of this it's okay to be act like a girl. It ain't okay to act like a wimp. It's one thing to get proper medical treatment for genuine psychiatric debilitations, but this therapy/talk nonsense is for the birds. Unless the man is genuinely suffering from a disease which can be treated with psychopharmacology, he needs to set straight. I'm tired of this useless talk therapy done by total incompetent "counselors" who's claim to fame is a high school GED, who start bringing up issues which are suppressed (as well they should be) and ultimately cause more harm than good. That don't make any sense. I would never, ever send a friend to a psychologist or social worker. The only one qualified to treat the patient with psychiatric symptoms is a board-certified psychiatrist (a physician who has MD at the end of his name).
My boyfriends son goes to a psychiatrist, but then sits there refusing to talk, now what?
It is difficult to tell exactly what is going on, if you have other children in your household, I would recommend you do not have this child in your house. If sounds to me like both his mother and father do not have a clue about what to do with or for their son. At the age of 13 if he has chronic behavioral problems that he has had for years and years, someone, somewhere must have an idea what his issues are. Therapists do not always have "the solution" through drug therapy or talk therapy. At 13 years parental input may be somewhat late or this child is so developmentally delayed real parental input can accomplish a lot. I imagine the child is angry, (I imagine he has lots to be angry about), I imagine he has terrific emotions that he has no way to handle,(exercise, school activities, boy scouts, hobbies, friends, religion), I imagine he experiences little discipline (meaning NOT punishment but being taught how to act), and I imagine parental pride is preventing his parents from seeing what is going on. When a child enters the teen years it is really difficult, though not impossible, to intervene. There are therapeutic, non drug, providers who may provide assistance to him but only if all parties are willing to try and are willing to pay for it. Until he gets into huge trouble parents will need to pay for this kind of assistance. There are places that are residential that provide "tap" therapy, "horse" therapy etc. that are not survival camps, but are therapeutic residences for children who have lost their way. Frequently parents need some training as well, but in the mean time, if you have a family of your own, children? Keeping them separate is a good idea, maybe you should reconsider your BF, but also remember his ego is involved with his son, and he is at a loss too.
I want to talk about whatever the client brings in because that is what is important. However, I always ask in the first session, during an intake, if they have been in treatment before. I want to know what they liked and what they didn’t like about that treatment and how they feel about it at present.Speaking about the previous therapist can be a slippery slope. A client may say all kinds of things, positive and negative, such as—I loved my therapist, but her rates went up, I never thought my therapist got me, my therapist refused to give an opinion. These comments may evoke feelings in me, and the negative ones may invite comments. However, I wasn’t present at those sessions. I don’t know if there is more, if I am being tested, if a cigar is just a cigar—in fact, there is a whole lot I don’t know. So, I don’t comment on another therapist unless it goes like it did for one woman who told me her therapist was always very late. Since she was the first session of the day, she might be standing for 45 minutes outside a locked door. In her third session, her therapist did not even remember her name or anything she’d said. Or, the guy who told me his therapist conducted some sessions while on his treadmill. I called that therapist for some piece of information, and he was, indeed, out of breath and on his treadmill the entire time we spoke.
There is no license for the title “sex therapist”. Therefore, there is a range of people who claim to be “sex therapists” with little to no governmental oversight. There are professional associations that can offer a certification of “sex therapist” or “clinical sexologist”, but these are certifications, not state-sanctioned licenses. The state of Florida is the only state in the US that currently offers a state certification for “sex therapist” with regulations about the scope of practice.Most specialists in sex therapy are licensed mental health clinicians such as marriage and family therapists or mental health counselors who have gone on to study human sexuality. They are practicing under their state license, however, as mental health clinicians, which regulates touching and clinician-client relationships, etc.A sexual surrogate is quite rare and has questionable legal standing. A sex therapist might assign a sex surrogate to a client to practice something they’ve been working on in therapy, but I don’t know of any studies that show talk therapy to be less effective than talk therapy plus sex surrogacy. May things we work on in therapy can be helped by behavioral exercises you can do with or without a partner involved.
HELLPPP!!!! Suicidal Boyfriend, Im about to go talk to him HELP?
This is a lot to try to handle on your own with him. He needs to learn better coping skills. He's putting too much responsibility on you. He needs to be responsible for his own feelings. You can definitely give him emotional support. Don't ever start getting mad at him or yell. Those could be triggers and would just reinforce his behavior. A good method you could use is to distract him from his negative thoughts and feelings. Suggest that you both go for a walk. Or ask him to help you with something that would distract him so he has time to calm down from those emotions. He really should see a counselor or psychiatrist. He is internalizing his pain and taking it out on himself. Its not right for him to be obsessive with you but what it sounds like to me is that he doesn't know how to love himself and is dependent on you as a supplement to that. He's looking to you for that love and when he has a hard time coping, sounds like he shuts down and doesn't think everything as clearly. You definitely want to stay calm yourself. Do not take his actions personal. Its something he is dealing with. His own poison from his past. He just needs to learn new ways of coping. The first step is for him to recognize this. If you can try to use encouraging words and tell him positive things. He's too caught up in the negativity that he's used to doing. I hope that this helps and that everything gets better.
What's the best way to find a therapist to talk to?
I'm sure I have deep issues but I don't know how to start dealing with them. All my life I have been afraid of my future. My parents are very religious and believe that I will go to hell in the end if I don't convert. They are really nice people, very calm, generous and overly passive. They like to ***** about the world's problems but that's about it. I love my parents but there has always been a barrier because I'm a pagan on the road to atheism. I'm also bisexual and have been hiding that since I can remember. Basically, I can't really talk to my parents about me because I know they wouldn't want to hear it and they would start spewing the bible at me which I don't want to hear. To top it all off I was homeschooled through highschool and moved around a lot because my dad pissed people off with his preaching so they fired him and then he couldn't find good enough work so we lived in a motel and then a trailer for a while with my 4 other siblings at the time, now I have 6. We moved again because my dad found a new preaching job where he still preaches. He hasn't pissed everyone off yet, there is still like 15 people he preaches to including most of my family. I've always had trouble making friends. I've had a few good ones in my life and many aquaintances and few girlfriends. I was best friends with someone for eight years until he showed me that he didn't really care about me. Ever since then I've been very alone and miserable. I want someone I can share my life with but I feel like whats the point, I can't seem to make anyone care about me. I know a lot of the problem has to do with my attitude, i'm so used to half-assing things because I'm scared of failure, but I find it so hard to change. When I raise my voice, it sounds loud in my head but to others its still a whisper. I also find it very hard to express myself. I think because I'm mostly around mild, passive people I'm this way, I've never been taught how to be aggressive from any of my relatives. I don't want to be an aggressive person just someone who knows how to be aggressive. Part of being passive is keeping things inside which I am a master at, it's what I've always done, but the shrugging it off part I'm not so good at. Now it's like i'm dead because my emotion cavity is jammed, there's just too much in there. What would you reccommend I do? Should I talk to a therapist? What's the best way to find one? Any other insights?
Do therapists ever get bogged down/sad/worried because of all the emotional baggage thrown at them by their clients?It’s natural that therapists get sad or worried by what their clients are dealing with. It’s part of the job. At times, it may even get overwhelming.But this is their job, and as professionals they are used to dealing with the emotional pain of others. Usually therapists are seeing many different people, and generally see a number of clients in the course of day. This means they have to constantly adjust themselves to each new individual, and reset emotionally, so that they can be fully there for their clients.Theraoists are constantly exercising certain mental muscles and become very good at compartmentalizing, and switching emotional states. They might go from sad, to concerned, to happy, to light hearted, to angry in the course of a single session. I personally take on slightly different stances with different clients, as I’m constantly adjusting to meet them where they are at.At the end of long day, my head is usually buzzing from all the activity, and I generally look to distract myself with something relaxing and different.I remember an experience in my early days of training. At the time I worked at a clinic, and was often scheduled to see clients back to back, with no time in between. I had just had a very intense session with a client, and I had been rattled. When I brought the next client into the room, they immediately told me I looked angry. I realized I had been angry and hadn’t time get my feelings under control. Now I’m more experienced, and try to give myself a little time between session to get myself into a good mindset for the next client.
Yes, at times I felt bored. I supervised people who got bored and I knew many colleagues who also experienced boredom. It goes with the territory. Not everyone in life is interesting. The same applies to patients. Boredom is an occupational hazard that the therapist must deal with. No amount of personal supervision or analysis of countertransference/transference issues is going to change the fact that some people are boring…authentically boring.If you have a continuous supply of interesting, educated smart and witty patients consulting with you then life will be great. But, for most psychotherapists life does not work that way. There are people with intellectual disabilities, head traumas, chronic psychoses and multiple intractable problems who will come in week after week and say the same thing. Maybe a slight variation but basically the same theme.Is therapy helping them? Mainly, the answer is yes. Psychotherapy is the one source of stability and comfort in their lives. They are who they are and you just happen to be their therapist.Often there is no where else they can go. No one you can refer them to…working in rural areas, for example. They are your patients. The therapist is faced with the dilemma of abandoning the patient or learning how to cope with the situation. Most good therapists learn how to cope with the boredom. Unless there is a better treatment alternative abandonment is not an option.The trick is to manage your caseload well and try to see as varied a population as possible and to recognize that boredom is going to happen.