Do REAL families KICK their son or daughter out of the house if ....?
You are right about your mother trying to control your life by not encouraging you to have your own car and drive yourself wherever you need to go. Everything was great as long as your life suited the script she had in mind. Your mother is a bigot who can't stand that you have fallen in love with a man who doesn't have the same ethnic and cultural background that you do. Now that you have fallen in love with a good man, you are getting a great education, and you have plans for a successful and happy life, your mother is feeling threatened, like she is losing control, and jealous of the life she can see in your future. She is doing her best to ruin all of it for you by kicking you out of the house and putting a financial hardship on you. You have every right to angry at her, but don't let that anger cause you to make impulsive decisions that you will regret later. Think everything over calmly and make logical, rational choices that will bring you to the life you envision for yourself. Buy a car, but only one that you can afford to make payments on, buy insurance for, and pay for repairs or maintenance on. Come up with a plan, after you calm down, for moving out of the house and continuing your education. I don't understand the part where you say she spent your money on her garden and house decorations. Is this money that she earned that you thought she should give you for your education or is it money that you give her to help with household expenses? If it's her money, she has every right to spend it however she wants. Your choices may not be the same as hers, but you have to respect them, nonetheless. When you do get out on your own, do not use your mother's treatment of you as an example of how to treat her. Choose to be better than her. Accept frustration and setbacks with grace and calmness. Do not be bitter and exact revenge by cutting her out of your life and keeping her from seeing her grandchildren. If you do, you will become your mother and teach your children to be like your mother. Choose to be patient and loving and nurturing to your mother and to the children that you will have.
Was I right to kick my 19 year-old son out of the house?
As a parent, you can only do the best that you can do. As I read your story I understood the concern about your child, now that the issues that he has struggled with are starting to unfold and it has sunk in that "he is officially gone and facing a prison term" you probably realize you made a drastic decision of putting him out. One thing that I can tell you is that, although you're feeling guilty or flustered at this moment the choice that you made was based on an impulse. You were so upset that, putting him out was the first thought, even though there could have been alternatives you went with your first instinct. It doesn't matter how well you raise a child, you can give them the best of the best, but at the end of the day that child will still make his/her decisions and will have its own mind. You can raise a child in the most perfect environment, but when he/she gets older they still will go astray to make mistakes of their own, but eventually they will learn from them. As a parent, all you can do is put circumstances in God's hand and let him take care of the situation. What you did was not wrong, it was just your way of saying "I love you son, but I got to let you go and learn the hard way". The only thing you can do now is just pray and continue to ask God to watch over him and reunite you both one day that you may forgive him and he will understand your decision and forgive you as well. Stay strong as a mother and continue to stay in prayer, just give it to Jesus and he will work it out. Be blessed, Cemecia M
If you can't love him, you can't love him. Period. That's all there is to it.You can't force yourself to love somebody. Love doesn't work that way. It either happens, or it doesn't.If he was abusive to you, then he doesn't deserve your love.Nobody expects you to love him, and nobody is judging you, either.Actually I shouldn't say that, because I know that some people will judge you. I had a very similar childhood, and I don't think I ever loved my mother, for the same reasons that you are struggling with this issue about your dad.Many years ago I was struggling about this, and I asked my spiritual leader (of the Christian persuasion) about it.He said, "We are not commanded to love our parents. We are commanded to honor them for bringing us into the world, and for doing what they could to raise us. All you need to do is figure out how to honor your mother, while giving yourself the distance you need to protect and maintain your mental health.”I decided I would send her a birthday present, Mother's Day present, and Christmas present every year (and on time), and otherwise had no contact with her.It worked for me.
Would you date a man if you found out he owes back child support?
Yes I would date him. I know from my own personal experience that the child support people are not always right. I paid child support for over 18 years. My child support went from one state to another state, my ex and I live in different states. There came a time that they started intercepting my tax return money. When I called my state they said you don't owe as much as his state says you owe. There were always problems between the states on the amount of money owed. I became very sick and my child support was way behind. When I got on Social Security disability, my ex-husband agreed to accept my social security disability as child support. He got all the money I owed him in arrearages and then some so I paid him in full. Stuff happens and hey this guy sees his children and I suppose that he is paying child support that he is just behind as you say. That doesn't mean that he can't get it caught up. Also, I know someone that has a HUGE child support debt, or so the child support agency says, but he says that he doesn't owe his ex the money, that he paid her. At some point I also suppose that she went to child support enforcement and SAID he owed her money, which may have been a lie to get back at him for some reason or other, who knows. You know ex's can be vindictive too. So, now the child support people are after him, he may or may not owe the money, and I suppose she won't go to the child support people and tell them he don't owe the money. So, she is holding this over his head, which I think is terribly wrong and if I were him I would do something to fix it. The point I am making is that child support enforcement makes mistakes too, BIG ONES. And, when they make a mistake it is like an act of congress to get them to fix it.
Can i kick my husband out if i own the house??!?
By law if u bought the house while u guys were married even if it's in ur name unfortunately he has rights to the house. It would have been different if u bought the house before u married him, the house would be entitle to only u. Any property, cars etc.. that u own before u get married is completely yours. Anything u buy even if it's only on ur name after u get marry it belongs to the both of u, when u get the divorce and if he fights u for the house he would be entitle to his share of the property. Make sure u bring to court any proof of his infidelity, and when u file for the divorce make it clear that it was because he cheated. If u can proof that there's a big chance his not gonna be entitle to anything because he broke his wedding agreement. Getting married is seen as a written contract. Good luck, and stay strong.