Why do my parents always blame me for everything that happens?
That used to happen with my mom. She used to blame me for every single bad thing that happened to my younger sisters, even though I was clearly innocent. When she did this though, there was something bothering her. At the time, she was having hard times with her husband and with no friends or family around her, I was the perfect target to vent all her anger upon. Me being only a kid, would rarely say anything, and just go cry on my own. I couldn't do anything anyways.. it's not like she would listen to me anyways, so I just kept quiet, however I did show SEVERAL times I was bothered by what she did. You could do what they say (washing the dishes). In response to the respect you gave them, they would possibly answer your question of why they're constantly picking on you. But if you don't think that will get them to take you could --> I understand your rebellion with not doing the dishes because you want to make it obvious that you are upset, to gain their attention, make them realize what they've been doing. They probably have no idea that they're doing this. Once you gain their attention, explain the reason why you refused to listen! Directly tell them that they blame everything on you. If they deny, prove it to them with evidence- the many occasions they blamed you!! PSH, you have a right to speak up for yourself! This isn't called talking back, it's called reasoning. You're just informing your parents on what they've been doing wrong, and wish to speak up for yourself :P Afterwards, listen to what they have to say. I'm with you! XD
Why is it always me? My parents blame me for everything. Every inconvenience is my fault. It always comes back to me. Things completely unrelated to me are somehow shaped into my wrong doing. They make me feel like such a burden sometimes.
Yep, that’s what they do.To my uneducated view, your parents look like “fragile narcissists”. The details are here: Fragile Narcissism - The Narcissistic Life. Please read it. Everything would fall into place.If I am right, your parents are low self-esteem people who blame you for everything as a way of coping with the pressures of life:They blame you so they don’t have to care about you - because they cannot tolerate a thought of doing it wrong. So they blame you for everything, and they no longer have to care about you because you are such a bad child.They blame you so they con’t have to accept responsibility for their own failures.They blame you so they don’t have to act with guts and courage. Why take that challenge if you screw it up for them anyway? Even if you have no way of doing so.They blame you so they don’t have to confront people who are truly to blame.With all that cowardice and dishonesty, they get to feel good about themselves.So what do you need to do:Survive. I survived, and I went through something similar if not worse without Quora, without Internet, without a single bit of advice, without anyone on my side. You can do it.Understand that it is not you, it is them. Interpret anything they say as what they do, not what you did.Use your brain. Any time you are blamed for something, figure out who is really to blame. Of, it you truly are, figure out whether they are helping, or only making it worse.Plan your escape. Don’t tell yourself you cannot do it, find what you can. The day you are legally adult, you need to wake up with a job (or scholarship if you are that good) lined up, with shared accommodation arranged, with necessary papers acquired. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it is not an escape from Alcatraz, you would stuff up something,In the mean time, become really good in something. And make sure you have someone else to motivate you. You may have to keep your pursuits secret from your parents, so they don’t ruin them just to blame you. Become a successful freelancer while telling them you are doing your homework. Start a band while telling your parents you are practicing. You need a safe place, and for you it is not home, so it should be in whatever you do.“5” should not involve crime or doing drugs.
My Mom Blamed and accused me of something i didn't even do,and she does this all the time.....?
When I was younger, my Mom never saw any right thing that I did. And yes, she also blamed me for every wrong thing happening in the household. That was years ago, when my brother was very young. We have a 6-year age gap. Now it has stopped since my brother has already grown into a teenager himself. Now what is the direct link? I think your Mom blames you because she expects you to be mature enough to do the right thing (assuming you're old). I mean even though it's your kiddie sister who scattered her toys in the living room (this is a hypothetical scenario, mind you), you should have been responsible enough to clean those toys so that it won't add to her burden. Child rearing is one thankless job so it probably drives her crazy and insane--hence the developing unbearable attitude. You cannot expect her to blame your little sisters for mishaps because they do not know much about life yet. On your older brother, perhaps he is busy running errands or working so your Mom doesn't think that she can count on him. I am not telling you that she should blame you. I believe blaming is a harsh thing to do--whether the person is worthy of the blame or not. I am explaining to you reasons as to why she acts that way. Possible reasons to be exact. About the YM status--if you want to clear things out, apologize to her. Find the right timing! It may even be the springboard for you to be able to have a deep and serious talk about your issues against her. Your Mom will be always your Mom no matter what you do. Until now, I am in a love-hate relationship with my Mom for the simple reason that she has a big mouth that won't stop anytime of the day. Plus, she has suffocating rules at home. Sometimes I yell at her too because I couldn't take it anymore. But I realized years ago that it would be just better to shrug it off and go on with my life. Stop noticing her. Just shrug her off. Stay inside your room and use the Internet. Study well, run errands, obey her so that she won't get pissed off at you. Soon you will realize your Mom's worth in your life. Good luck!
Why do I hate my brother so much?
I have the same problem. Its gotten to the point where he makes comments like, you will regret treating me like this for the rest of your life and its not fair that you treat me like this. The only thing I do is give one word answers and not really respond. My reasons for acting the way I do started in middle school. He would steal my mothers quarters and silver change to get sodas at school and blame me for the missing change, I had no proof that I could use to prove my innocence so I let it go……. this happened at least twice that I can remember. Literally 10 years later I learned that he was coming into my room at night and stealing my debit card. This freak would withdraw money from ATMs and put my debit card back in the morning. He stole at least 300 that I have found so far. Apparently he made a bad investment, he also sold the Wii among other things. When I try to talk to my mom about this she defends him. Now its 2 years later, he goes to work and comes home to smoke weed. He leaves his laundry on the floor in the bathroom instead of using the hamper which is right next to the washer, he does not do any chores, he thinks cleaning up the kitchen means putting everything in the sink and waiting for it to magically disappear. I can no longer talk to my mother about this problem because she will say he does what I tell him to (when pigs fly) and I don’t want to talk about this anymore. The frustration has built up inside me sing I was 12 (Im 26 now) Im not sure what do do about this now. All I can say is that I have no love for this pot head residing in the room next door. All the advice I can give to you is to:A. Talk to your parents in a very adult manner, give them a impression for concernB. Get therapy (Its all I got right now)
How to deal with a Stepdaughter that hates you.......?
A question was asked if I do all this stuff for her because I feel obligated too.. My answer is this: NO!!! I do this stuff for her as well as her brother because I LOVE THEM whole heartedly and I've been right where they have been in life as well. I'm a child of a divorce so I know exactly how they feel about it, but the difference with me is that I didn't treat my step dad like a butthole. My step-mother was a 'TOUCHY FEELY" woman towards me and I had every right in the world to not like her at all. With that said, I made a vow to myself and God almighty that my children would have a better life than I had and I would do everything in my power to make that happen. The problem that I see is that when my wife first got divorced from their dad, my wife and their grandmother went to great lengths to spoil them to a degree. Even though they were not living in good conditions, they always had alot of toys and pretty much got what they wanted or could afford...............continue-----
I am 13. My mom always disrespects me and shouts at me whenever she feels like. If she forgot something, I lied. If she can’t do something, I’m blamed for it. Every time she shouts I shout back. I feel like I completely hate her now, and I don’t know what to do. I just want to end it all. What I do?
I am a 27 years old girl . I am writing this answer as i went through exactly same phase which was quite emotionally draining and i had no one to share what went in my home on a daily basis.Every morning would start with a rough abuse .Result is now i wake up even at a whats app notification. There was never a single moment of love, care or affection. Even if it happened that would last for a few minutes then we are back onto abuses .When i was 15 and giving my class XII board exams and just one day before she sent me to do some chore with a lot of threatening and abuse.there are a thousand examples which i am not going to delve into right now lest i bore someone with a long answer. I was academically bright , topped my school but my life was a nightmare . I was almost never happy and i could not share this to anyone as in India a mother is someone you worship and to make someone understand your situation is as rare as the situation itself.The best solution is distance . I would suggest to make it on your own as soon as possible.When i went to hostel i never missed my home . People asked me why i was so happy i could tell no one that there was nothing to cherish about. Even during vacations when i went to my home..there was some kind of argument happened and “she said why have you come here ? “ The 4 years i spent in hostel were the best years of my life.It is not possible to not love your mother as she gave birth to you but accepting this abuse shouting etc as a challenge of your life move on really quickly. Be there when she needs you give all your help but do not let the shouting destroy your inner peace as it will reduce your efficiency and productivity . Even now i sometimes feel that only if she could change , I could live the childhood i never had:) But that is okay . Focus on more positive things in your life. Try to divert your focus on the things you love.Trust me once you become independent as soon as possible , you will comprehend other challenges of life really well and wont become an emotionally sad person.Remember this is just a phase!
I'm getting blamed for my parents divorce?
My mom truly hates me. We argue a lot - more than most moms and daughters - and recently it has escalated into full fledged wars. They usually end with both of us crying or at least one of us.... and they always start with the dumbest things! I love my my mom, but she honestly hates me. Tonight we fought again, and it wasn't all that bad, but afterwards I went upstairs and she went to her room. 5 minutes later she comes upstairs and screams at me (and I quote) "Let me tell you what's going to happen, tomorrow I'm going to go into work and find a family attorney and file a divorce from your father. Then you can go live with him!" Aside from this she usually has told me she hates that I ruin everything and that I have single handedly destroyed our family. She is blaming me for her divorce. To be honest, she isn't acting very mature. My dad says she just hasn't raised a teenage girl before, and it's always a first time experience for parents at different points in a child's life and that I should just be careful. But now it seems that one silly fight led to my parents divorce. I don't know what was said in their room, all I know is that involved a disagreement about me. I know I shouldn't be such a horrible child. I don't try to be mean. I'm worthless, really, and maybe I should just move out. I don't really know what to do. There are obviously more details than I can include here, but if you have any advice, I'd appreciate it. Thank you.