My friends never invite me to anything. When I try to make plans with them, they always say they’re busy, but then they do things without telling me. How should I handle this?
The people you have described do not share the enthusiasm to spend time with you, that you have for spending time with them.Most people would not describe such an asymmetric relationship as friends; most people expect friends to reciprocate their interests. They might describe those people as an attractive group they would like to join but where they aren’t accepted.This motivates some people (such as Dale Carnegie students) to learn “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”This won’t guarantee you win those people as friends, but if you learn how to more easily connect with people you will wind up with many more choices to become friends with people you fit in better with who are eager for your company.Ironically, once you become known as an influential person, you may suddenly become attractive to status seeking people who only value others who they see as more influential than they see themselves.While some people enjoy the reversal among those who previously snubbed them, they also recognize how shallow such status seekers are and how their interest is only dependent on how they can use the more influential person.This is the source of the doubt that celebrities often face when making new friends. It is also at the motive force that drives the novel the Great Garsby, in which the title character (originally with the Jewish surname Gatz) transforms himself into a successful and wealthy business man in order to win the admiration of Daisy who was born into a snobby high society world of people who snubbed lower class people likeGatz but worshipped the money and power and fame of the same man when he became the famous Gatsby.
My friends never invite me anywhere!?
Their not your friends then. You just need to go and find some other people or tell your "friends" that your feeling left out. Maybe they think they just can leave you there, but you need to go and tell them. I'd say go and find other friends and get close to them. That way, you won't be bored during summer. It's supossed to be fun and everything, and you can't do that without friends.
How do I deal with my 11 year old not inviting friends over or introducing me because of her sister? Her sibling is disabled. Some kids bully her after they find out. The other issue is that she’s only 11, so I need to know who she hangs out with.
One of my stepsons was disabled, and the other much younger and very shy. He never invited anyone over. He was nine, and I thought him possibly too young to know how to invite friends, and certainly too shy to do so.On the computer, I printed out “Just Because” party invitations. I did this for my daughter as well, who was around the same age. I told them both to hand them out in class with the teacher’s permission, because where we live you must invite everyone in the class.He didn’t, at first. The invitations remained in his backpack. It helped that my daughter was very social, and it sounds like you don’t have a third child. However, eventually he did hand them out.Not all the kids he wanted to come did, at first just one or two. Association brings familiarity: they got used to his disabled older brother. They began to see him as a person, and enjoyed playing Manhunt in the back yard and the grilled ham and cheese with pickles snacks.I guess word-of-mouth spread. More kids started coming over. They were all awkward around his older brother at first. Then, they weren’t. They would say hi to him, and ask him how he was doing. He would reply, with a big fixed grin, “I’m doing great, how are you?” And they were no longer freaked out. Both brothers benefitted.
My wife complains she has no friends, but does nothing about it. What can I do?
My wife complains that she has no friends, yet does nothing to make new friends or keep the few she has. People invite her (and us as a couple) out, but she never follows through. Her response is always "I never heard back from her" or "maybe another time". I've gone so far as to make plans with her friends and she looks for excuses not to go and in some cases I end up going alone or with my friends. I've tried everything. I've explained that you have to be a friend to have a friend and make time for your friends if you want them to stick around with no success. She sees how my best friend and I make it a point to communicate everyday and spend time together every week come hell or high water and her only response is "I wish I had a friend like that". It's starting to impact our marriage. She goes to work, comes home, and if we have no commitments with our child, she sits. My fear is even our date nights might go away as she becomes more withdrawn. My philosophy is we'll have plenty of time to sit when we're old. 40 is too young to sit on the sidelines and watch life pass us by. Has anyone experienced this and what did you do?
My boyfriend's girl "friend" invited him to go hot tubbing... what would you do?
Just ask if you can come too. If it's only a "friend" thing, he and the girl that invited him won't mind, and you know it's nothing. If he balks at asking her, or the girl balks at inviting you over too, you're right to be worried. Yeah, I know you actually going would mean missing your girls night. You can go with your boyfriend if you want, but honestly, you probably don't even have to. If he's willing to ask and the girl is willing to invite you too......there's nothing there, you have nothing to worry about, you can then later back out and go out with your girls while he goes. I would NOT try to tell him he can't go.....you're not married, it's not fair to expect him to sit home alone while you go out, trying to tell anyone what they can or can't do generally ends poorly. Good luck!
What would you do with a spouse who doesn’t invite his friends over because he thinks you have bad traits and believes you are antisocial?
Heres my take.. I had a girlfriend who you could describe that way.. She was outwardly rude and disrespectful of my friends, mocked and degraded them, considered them inferior and trashy, etc. What I realized was that she was extremely controlling and attention hungry, and saw anyone else in my life as a threat that was taking my time and attention away from her. She had no fiends of her own and, quite honestly a virulent and antisocial personality and a grandiose narcissistic superiority complex. This included ALL my friends, and I have a wide variety of friends from all walks of life, and my male friends were treated just as badly as my female friends. Even my family was treated this way.I would suggest you take a good hard look at yourself and examine your actions, reactions, and motivations for your behavior that may cause him to feel this way. I may be wrong and it could be that he has a shady reason for wanting to keep parts of his life separate, I cant say without knowing your personal situation, but that was my experience. I did my best to try to include her and bring everyone together, but her behavior ended up causing a grreat deal of damage and hurt, I lost friends over it, and in the end she was a complete lost cause, her level of narcissism prevented her from even the slightest introspection or self awareness, and although I genuinely gave it my best effort there was no changing who she was as a person. If this is the case for you, hopefully it will be a wake up call to examine your behavior and make positive changes.The other possibility is that he is embarrassed or ashamed of you in some way, and this is simply an excuse, or he is carrying on a double life or cheating, in which case you are probably not to blame or even guilty of any of the things he claims about you, in which case you should leave him post haste.Whatever the case, something very unhealthy is going on here and nothing about it is good. Either fix yourself if needed, or end the relationship if he is the one with the problem. This situation is terrible to be in and will only continue to bring misery, whatever it is it needs to change or end for the good of you both, no one can live like this for long and be happy.
Why do American parents have an obsession of inviting friends over to see the new baby?
First of all, this isn't an American obsession, it's an invitation that most people are anxiously anticipating (people are often already inviting themselves over) to see the newest member of a family. When both of my sons were babies, I had total strangers approaching me to see or possibly hold them although I was minding my business, so if anything, the desire to see and enjoy the moment was as much or more of a desire for them than myself (I was often sleep-deprived) and we typically had a party to have everyone come at one time instead of having repeated "invitations" for people to come to our home unexpectedly.If it's not your "cup of tea," that's fine and you can refuse to attend, but your attitude of thinking that it's an obsession for the family with the newborn or for the attendees would label you as more of a jerk than simply missing the event would. Politely decline or simply don't go (they'll probably be so busy that they won't even notice your absence), but don't have such a critical attitude towards those who enjoy such a momentous occasion.
Too embarrassed to invite my friends over because of my house?
I know it sounds a little bratty and I know there are people who have nothing ,but I can't help but feel this way .It's kinda long ,but please read. I'm seventeen and this is my first year at a new school .My parents are very old fashioned people , for example we don't have modern furniture (it looks like my grandmother's house to be honost) and we don't have flatscreen tv's or Ipads or dishwashers .Our house isn't very big either and I have a very small room and little privacy.And the funny thing is my mom is a vet ,so everyone expects me to have this huge house with a swimmingpool ect. In comparison with the rest of my family ,we honostly look very poor . A lot of friends have asked me if they can come to my place ,but I always never know what to reply . I've been at their houses and it's big ,modern and they have these huge tv's and nice views of the lagoon .And I know that these people wouldn't be my friends if they judged me because of my tv or whatever ,but seriously... would it kill us to buy a new tv at least ?We are definitely not poor ,but also not rich. Plus I'm a gamer type of girl and my friend wanted to come over so that we can play on the xbox , but I was too embarrassed ,because of the house and the small,box tv . I've asked my dad about a new tv and he told me that unless that dinosaur is broken ,we can't get a new one .I just want to be able to enjoy myself with my friends . Am I wrong for feeling like this?Does anyone else have the same problem?