Is It Crazy To Move To Another City For A Guy I Haven

How does someone move to another city without a job or a place to live?

I did this 11 years ago when I moved to Los Angeles. I had never even visited the city before. It was a little crazy!  Planning ahead was really important. It took about 6 months. I quit the management job I had and waitressed. I need cash and lots of it quickly. I saved and saved. I left New Hampshire with $6000. I picked an apartment out online. I talked to a few people who had live in/at least been there to decide which neighborhoods to steer clear of. I probably got an old school trip-tic for AAA. I found a national mover to take the big stuff. Packed my VW and drove cross country in 3 days. Again, this was a crazy adventure. Once in LA I looked for a job. I was lucky to find a recruiter to work with me.  I found a job with other people my age so I had a built in social network at work. I made friends slowly.  It took a few months to get going and to really start enjoying myself but it is the best decision I ever made! So I guess the answer is that you just have to do it even if it seems nuts. Also, it helps to have a back-up plan (like calling your family to fly you home if it turns out you hate it.) I don't really tell people but at the back of mind when I left I thought, " I am doing this. Worst case if I hate it, in 6 months I will come home."  I will also advise to give it a little bit of time. I was so sad when I first got there because I missed my family, didn't have friends and to be quite honest the $6000 were spent quicker than I imagined it would be. Good luck!Edit- I should have read the details of the question before answering. I probably could have done it with a lot less money if I was not supporting 4 people with the money I had and if I was willing to sacrifice my spoiled life style a little.

Is it ok for me to date someone that I met online but haven't met in real life?

I met a girl many years ago through IRC (Internet Relay Chat, it was like…Yahoo Chat before yahoo chat existed. it’s still around!). She was in Colorado Springs, CO, I lived in Toronto at the time. We chatted for hours on end, we seemed to be into the same stuff (sci fi, reading, video games, etc). We eventually took our relationship to ICQ when that launched, and eventually to voice chatting and video chatting, including cybering (chat sex), phone sex and video call sex. It was all good. We fell in (what we thought was) love. She had some sort of government job, and couldn’t relocate, so I managed to land a 6month contract with a tech company in Colorado Springs to be with her. She was everything I expected and desired. We matched up in pretty much every way, physically, sexually, humour, intellect, etc. The sex was INCREDIBLE. When you are so in tune with someone that they anticipate your movements and the sex becomes a symbiotic intertwining of two people rather than just an awkward, clumsy mechanical exercise, that’s the good sex. Then the crazy started. She’d phone me to make sure i got to work ok. Fine, new city, easy to get lost. Then she’d phone at lunch to see what i was eating. Then she’d phone before i left work. If i took too long to get home, she’d phone to see where I was. I took a day off work one week, and followed her to her office. The “government job” I thought she had? Cashier at a government building cafeteria. The sweet loft she “owned”? long term house-sitting gig. Basically all the elements of her life except me were lies. And she was rapidly becoming crazier by the day. Eventually, the crazy outweighed the awesome sex, and I bailed and went back to canada.So, pro-tip: Find out the crazy, if at all possible, BEFORE you do something huge like move to another country to be with them.ps: Never stick your dick in crazy. Or let crazy stick its dick in you.

I’ve been showing my interest to him but he does not make a move. Is he not picking up on my hints I throw him or is he just not into me? How can I understand and tell?

I was that guy. I have three messages for you:Guys can be oblivious to hints, for months at a timeGuys can feel like they’ve been rejected, even when they haven’t.If you’re interested, ask him out.Now for my story:I met a girl once on OKCupid, and we went out once. She made it clear that she wanted sex on the first date, which surprised me. But when she got to my place, I sat down beside her and tried for a snog, and she recoiled and ran out of the house, claiming I reminded her of her father. No sex occurred.So I figured she wasn’t interested. And when she asked me out to various things later, and gave me a friendly hug afterward, I figured we would just stay friends. Too bad, since I found her quite attractive, but what can you do? I reminded her of her father. Also, I was 45, which was 15 years older than her, so I figured she was saying I was too old and therefore creepy.Later, I found her father had asked to friend me on Facebook (?!). I accepted. Then she came to help me out with my small business, and volunteered loads of her valuable time. I was really grateful.It never once occurred to me that she was attracted to me, despite the age gap, and was just hoping I’d ask her again. But she was. And she got more and more visibly frustrated and angry, but when I asked why, she wouldn’t answer.Eventually, after about six months, she gave up and stopped visiting me, and blocked me on all social media. She told me what had been going on, but it was too late.Guy here. Oblivious.In hindsight, she was dropping hints like crazy. I am ashamed to list most of them, because they really should have been obvious. Really. But no.Just ask. No hints. And if you’ve ever done anything to indicate lack of interest, by God it is now your turn to say you’ve changed your mind.

What should I do if I love a girl who lives in another country?

Once upon a time, I fell in love with a guy in another country.We were members of the same online community and I thought he was funny and quirky and intelligent. When both our marriages fell apart in the same year, we started “talking.” You know, the shoulder to cry on thing. It quickly became more than that.He was my best friend and we chatted online for hours each day. We progressed to video chats sometimes, and even phone calls. I knew every moment of his day and he knew mine and the only thing keeping us apart was distance.I made a trip to his country on business and was so excited I couldn’t stand it. I threw myself into his arms at the airport, and he distractedly patted me on the head and set me aside, barking at me to get in the car, worried about the parking and traffic.Hmnn. Not so romantic, but OK. Be practical.We stopped to get something to eat, then he vomited in a trash can outside the restaurant from nerves. Then he spent the afternoon moaning that he didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life. I traveled a couple thousand miles to see him, and he acted like I had just come across town to catch up and chat.I thought I knew everything about this man. I really did! For months, we had carried on this long distance relationship and been basically inseparable. But in real life, he was:DistantFussyControlling (I’ll order your meal, what do you want?)AwkwardConfusingComplained about paying for meals. So I paid for my own.In the week I was visiting, he broke up with me twice. Then he came to join me at an industry event, said he was going to move the car, and never came back. He called me an hour later to tell me he couldn’t do it, and he had gone home. For all of his charm and wit, he was pretty awful at face-to-face interacting.Needless to say, this was not the man that lived in my computer. In my mind, I projected a lot of “him” into an image that wasn’t him. At all.That won’t happen to me! I really know my SO! We are soulmates!You can’t help but think that, but I guarantee you, even if things work out, it will be a severe adjustment from the person you created in your head. Unfortunately, you really can’t take someone else’s word for it… until you experience it -like with all love- you really truly believe your relationship is different, special, and amazing and you were meant to be.Reality is harsh.

Do men ever forget the first girl they truly loved? Would you look for her if you could? What would make you go back or want to give it another shot? Would you go back to them if you could, or are first loves just experiences and lessons?

No. We don't forget. We move on.A man's first love is always selfless and unconditional. He puts his lady above anything else, maybe above his family and friends too. But when things don't work out, he is lost.Many stay in that pit of depression for years, cause that's what a man is supposed to be, strong and emotionless. Many become jerks cause they want to avenge their heartbreak with the entire humanity. Many grieve, accept and move on.First love is always is the first lesson in life about having self respect. Men go beneath their self respect to for keeping their woman in their life, and that's probably is the main reason for her leaving him. It's a vicious circle.Do we seek her, no. Not at all.Do we hate her, absolutely not.Do we cherish the memories, yes we do. Sometimes, couple of tears slips by.Do we want to do it all over again, probably yes, but it won't be same. We lose that enthusiasm to go an extra mile for someone.Do we believe in love, yes, cause we have witnessed one ourselves.We forgive her and make ourselves better for the person who would love us the same way we did to her, or maybe more. It will be wrong to the girl who would be with us in future and good men don't want to deceive their lady.For we knew, we loved her truly so we forgive.Forgiveness is the final form of love.