Is it fair to tell your boyfriend/girlfriend to lose weight to become more sexually desirable?
Of course it is fair. Being open in a relationship is important. Just be respectful. Especially on the the subject of weight, and even more so when it pertains to sex. For example, I wouldn’t recommend “I don’t want to have sex with you anymore. I get more enjoyment out of watching dumpster porn. You should get in shape so sex is fun for me again”.How you ask your partner to lose weight is going to be completely different than how you would recommend it to someone else. For example, I recently saw my sister and noticed that she was gaining some weight. I brought it up quite a bit different than I would to a wife or girlfriend.Me: Hey you should try out this program. You will get in good shape.Sister: Blah, Blah, Blah… Are you calling me fat?Me: You should just try this program.Sister: Blah, Blah, Blah.. You’re calling me fat.Me: No. You don’t get it. Just try this program.(She didn’t try the program but she started exercising more and lost a couple #’s that week. Not sure if it was due to this conversation or not.)For a partner, I think you both need to be in this together. If you are not both working at it together there is bound to be some resentment. It would be like someone taking care of the dishes/laundry/bills while the other just sits around and watches tv. I would try one of the following options.Option 1 You: Hey I think I’m going to start trying this new program X. My friend Stephanie said she started using this program Y and really loves it. Maybe you could try that one. It could be great for us to start feeling healthier and get into better shape.Them: Blah, Blah, BlahYou: I think it would be really great for us. Let’s try it.Them: Blah, Blah, BlahYou: No, really. I think it would be great for us. Let’s try it.Them: Ok, yeah sounds fun.Option 2 (If you would like them to target a specific area)You: Hey you know how I’ve been working out lately. I’ve been doing a mix of X,Y, and Z. I was wondering what you think is sexy. Biceps, chest, legs…?Them: Blah, Blah, BlahYou: Ok. Maybe I’ll start working on that more. I think X is really hot. My friend Stephanie was telling me about a program that she really enjoys. Maybe you would be interested in trying it out?Them: Ok, yeah sounds fun.
How do I answer when my girlfriends asks if I would still love her if she becomes fat?
A lot of these answers are unforutunately coming directly from a female's perspective. Another Quoran (her name is ellduing me, but she is a dating/marriage counseler whom often writes in the healthcare section of this website) suggested, and these are not her direct words mind you - that there are some questions that are simply unfair and unfounded, because there is often not a good answer, or the asker is looking for a specific answer that will put the respondent on the defensive. Realistically, some men don't mind if their S.O gets "Fat." However, to some men, that matters a lot. We need to remember that we need a few simple things in a relationship, and one of those things is sexual attraction. If his sexual attraction fades due to the newly-gained weight of his S.O (which is absolutely feasible, it's a scientific reaction to an unexpected variable) then the relationship has a greater probability of failure. Personality can only get a couple so far; but gaining weight does not always equate to a "bad" response. As I said, some men enjoy a girl who is heavier, some do not. It is simply the way are brains are programmed. Realistically, you are in a catch-22. If you answer truthfully (and judging by you posting this question, it isn't going to be a positive answer) you will likely get in trouble with her. If you lie, she may spite you for lying. Either way, unless you honestly want her to gain more weight because you think you will remain/gain sexual attraction to her, my advice is to not answer. Say I like you for you, or something very passive, and see what she comes back with. Or, just tell her the truth, and be supportive about it. Tell her you would be more attracted to her if she stays in the shape she is in now. If she breaks up with you over telling the truth to an unfair question, you can at least fall asleep at night knowing you did the right thing. And like I said, be supportive. Tell her you'll take walks with her - go to the gym with her - things like that. Because no matter what anyone says on this site, being healthy and staying slim are critical to maintaining a healthy lifestyle on this planet. Good luck! I'd love to hear how it goes!
I dumped my girlfriend because she is uncontrollable when she drinks, but I keep getting back! What to do?
Ok here's the deal, me and my GF have been together for coming up to two years, I always knew she liked a drink and it was a little bit problematic because she doesn't know when to stop. This is only on nights out, she doesnt drink any other times than the weekend. The thing is, every time she does drink she doesn't care what I think or I want to do. If I want to go home she either badgers me to stay saying "oh come on, just one more, just one more" or I end up having to leave her to it! This happens EVERY time we go out even to the pub on a sunday! She even acknowledges it as a problem and doesn't seem to change, even though every time I go mad about it! It came to a head (again) the last couple of weeks. 2 Weeks ago she got so drunk I had to drag her home whilst she was calling me all the names under the sun. She apologised and said she'd calm down her drinking. This week, we both had to be up at 6am, she had work, I had a social thing. We both agreed to go home at 10, have a bit of time together, then go to bed early all happy. She AGREED this. So we go out for a couple of drinks, I'm driving so I can only have a couple, gets to 10pm, does she want to go? No. She wants "one more drink", I say "no I want to go", so she says "fine, I'll stay out"... Nice! Come 2.30 am (bearing in mind I have to be up at 6) She's banging on my door, waking up the neighbours when she could've gone to her own house! This all built up to me completely snapping, telling her I've had enough of her ways and it's over because she's a pisshead! Fair enough I think. Next day, I'm the one who's out of order, I'm petty, she done nothing wrong and she deserves better. So I left it... 2 days later, she wants me back... She knows I'll end up crumbling... but what should I do for me? This has happened so many times and nothing changes... :( Cheers in advance...
Yesterday my boyfriend was angry and called me a fat cow. What would you do?
Moo. At him.
My wife was skinny when we married and now is so fat I can't stand the sight of her. Should I dump her?
The same thing happened to my wife. She inflated like a water balloon soon after we were married. I've learned to accept it but sometimes I wish I had been more of a bastard about it, and maybe she wouldn't weigh over 300 pounds now. For those who say you get married for better or worse, I have to paint her toenails because she can't reach them because her big belly gets in the way. Is that fair?