What you need to accept is that what that person did was not your fault. That the burdens they put on you by abusing you either emotionally or physically came from their own shortcoming and faults. There was nothing you could do to avoid it.You can also use their poor behavior as an example for yourself on how you can treat others better. We all feel short and angry sometimes either from stress or situations we find ourselves in in life. But how we treat others in these moments define us.You can always tell someones emotional intelligence from how they treat others in times of stress.Once you accept your role as victim and mentally prepare yourself to put it behind you, you can finally start to feel the anger, the pain, and the guilt lift off your shoulders.Trust me, it doesn’t happen overnight. But one day it will just be a thing that happened to you, or a person that was in your life. And you’ll think about it less and one day you won’t even think about it all all.Wishing everyone reading this love and happiness.www.adulting-101.org
My parents are abusing me mentally, verbally and physically. Help??
I need your help. My parents and i got into an argument. It was a normal thing and they said my behavior was bad but actually I didn’t really do much. So i started yelling at them and my dad stood up took my phone and he wanted to break it so i pushed him and went upstairst with my phone and slammed the door. He then came running and grabbed my by the neck and started to strangle me until I couldn’t breathe. I then immediately wanted to leave the house but he took all the keys and wouldnt let my. I had a key in me so after 3 hours when I finally got the courage to run away my mom hit me and i started screaming. And so my dad pulled me by my hajr from the front door to the living room. He then sat on me and held my hands and hit me on my head with his head. He started hitting me and next thing I knew my nose was bleeding and i was spitting out blood and he still wouldn’t let me go. They they started saying i was on drugs and insane and said they would call and take me to a psychiatric hospital because I was mentally insane. Then I went upstairs, I got off my bloody clothes and took a bath. It’s been 3 days and they dont make me food, they dont give me money for school, i am on house arrest and they turned off my mobile service which means I cant call nor text the only person I need, my boyfriend. I don’t know what to do, but I’m scared to death. I’m terrified of being in my own home. The only place i look forward to is school because i can be with my boyfriend. Help me
Are you sure you are doing the right thing? Did you try to talk to him, to appeal to his sense of honour and fatherhood?You didn’t mention any physical abuse, that sounded a bit strange to me. Of course every family is different, but a man without much education doing physical labour, who is an alcoholic, never hit his wife or his children - something in that picture sounds unusual, and rather positive. Does he threaten you? If he is not a physical threat, possibly he would listen to his son.I was brought up by abusive parents, and I remember the state of terror I was in my teens. I would never dare to do anything against my parents. The fact you kept sound mind and capable of acting also may mean it is not as bad.Also, is he bringing money to the family, or taking money from it? While “I am the provider” is not an excuse for abuse, those are significant details. I am not sure you have the right to deprive your mother and sister of the means of existence, without their permission. What kind of welfare they would be eligible for?If however you are confident that you are doing the right thing, then act. Report him to ICE. Include the details of complaints that you lodged against him. Include everything else you know. If he has prior convictions, if he drives intoxicated or without a valid lawfully acquired license, include that also.
Well, yeah, you need to talk to them. Telling your parents that their approach is not good towards you is not animosity, it’s a way to make your relation with them better. Try to express your feelings in a convenient way that shows you object to how they treat you. I’m a parent and I don’t mind my kids telling me that they don’t like my way, it alerts me sometimes, because we work so hard on protecting our children, we may drift away and start using wrong techniques.Also try to know if there is something stressing them and reflects on how they treat you - which is not right - but it happens. This may help you understand what they are going through. Speak out that what they do- for whatever reason - affects you negatively, and that you want them to be more understanding and wish for a healthy good relationship with them.Look into yourself too. May be changing some of your traits will help in your relation with them. We usually focus on others and rarely look into ourselves - I do this myself - but it’s important to see if part of the problem is something/s you do. I mean work on fixing your share of the problem as well.
Should I keep my children away from my mom?
When I was younger my mom gave me to my grandma because ( I thought) she was young. But then she had another child and gave her away too. The only one she kept was my little sister. My mom has done drugs my whole life, when I got older she called the police on me for "trespassing" at her house when her husband at the time pushed me on the ground for telling him he wasn't my father and shes slept with past boyfriends I've had. She will be okay for a while and we'll be great and talk and friends and help each other out and then she'll fall back into the drug habit and its been a heartbreaking battle for me my whole life but now I have a daughter (one year old) and a son on the way. When my daughter was born my mom was the PERFECT grandma but since has stopped seeing me at all blaming me for not coming around when in fact she cut off contact from the whole family. She has been doing bath salts and has lost a LOT of weight. She started sleeping with her landlord who is married and has children and blows off my little sister which has been forcing me to take my sister to school (which is 3 towns away from where I live), take her to dr's appointments and pretty much step in to be a mom to her when her dad is working. I feel bad about keeping my daughter away from her grandma but I don't want her to have to go through the same disappointment me and my sisters have our whole life. If you were in my position would you rather take on the guilt later on if the kids blame me for keeping grandma away or the guilt as they are growing up for grandma bailing on them and coming in and out of their life?
Emotionally abusive family in dire need of help and coping with this before i lose it plz someone help ?
I know tnat nobody can choose theit family but man was i dealt a hard card it has indeed made me stronger for tolerating other things in my life but for the time being its a battle within myself from having a breakdown. I originally lived with my mom, and dad my mom was 17 when she had me and my dad relicated from work and moved in with his mom(my grandma),my mom and dad would fight all the time i remember the hitting the knifes being put to her throat id hold on to my mommy or hide in a closet.and cry for hours. My mom eventually left got pregnant with my sister from her now husband.and just.left.and i didnt see her for 7 years and weird.as this sounds re met her when i was 14 at walmart and found out i had a brother as well she was addicted to meth and got me to smoke weed and.even.drink, i wanted so badly to be close to her but she didnt care about ne she.didnt invite me to do anything with her or my bro and sis i was always left out, and then my dad got remarried moved out of town had a kid, and.i was left with my grandmother who became a hoarder and went.crazy, i became a rebellious teen who thought i had all the.freedom in the world underneath i was dying inside and everyday i hear from my grandma go hang yourself in the.closet, go get raped and killed, she.calls me evey bame in the book and literally laughs in my face about how my parents deserted me, i am now engaged and have my baby boy (iam 22) saving up money for a lap top so i can do online college my family keeps telling me they r.going to help me but then they back out and i am now waitinv for my fiancee to save up and get our apartment in the next 2 months, but she.makes me feel so bad i have ptsd and its hard for me to take care of my son when she.starts to attack me she tells me that id be better dead and that i am going to die and shes going to kill my boyfriend. Ive had.a very hard life that id like to overcome dont want any pity just some constructive coping methods that can help me make it thro
Is my mom allowed to take my phone away that I bought?
If you are a minor, and your mom is your legal guardian, then yes, in most states she can. In most US states, minors cannot actually own or control money, legally, unless their parents allow them to do so. Even if a minor earns money, that money legally belongs to the parents, with a very few exceptions. Since a minor cannot own money in most cases, your mom does not owe you any money. Child support is never paid to the child. It's always paid to the child's custodial parent or legal guardian. Your mom should be paying your grandmother for taking care of you, but she doesn't have to give any money to you directly. It's possible for someone to let you use a phone that they buy, and that they pay the bills for, but if your parent or legal guardian doesn't want you to have the use of it, then you don't get to use it. It doesn't matter WHO pays for it, the parent or legal guardian has the final say as to whether the minor child can use something. If someone allows you to use a phone, for instance, and gives you a phone that they retain ownership of, your mother can take that phone away from you and return it to the person who gave it to you. If that person tries to let you have the phone again, your mother can file charges of interfering with parental control (or something like that, different laws in different states).
My grandma says its "Her house" but my grandpa paid for it & bought it himself?
Ok so ive been living with my grandparents since i was like 2, my grandpa and i have always gotten along but my grandma is a different story. Shes the devil himself. Nothing anybody does is right, she belittles everyone especially me , she hates me the most besides my mom because she says i remind her of my mom. My mom and grandma have never gotten along and my grandma holds a grudge on her for all the stupid things shes done in the past, and my grandma takes it out on me. My grandma calls me *****, stupid, makes fun of me, shes just a miserable old hag. And yes, i do chores around the house and have a job but still, nothing satisfies her. Shes constantly bitching about me, talking to me like im an idiot, shes just the devil. Shes always been that way. My whole entire family knows how she is and they all talk crap about her. Just not to her face. Shes ridiculous. She gets mad that my grandpa and i have a goos relationship and says 'im taking her husband away from her' and she finds things around the house just to accuse me of and to yell at me. My grandpa gets mad wen i fight back with her, i dont give a **** if shes older than me, she treats me like a dog and i wont stand for that. Also when shes mad she says 'this is MY house' when she never had a job in her life , she was always a housewife, & my grandpa bought and paid for this house with his own money. But when i tell my grandpa this, he says : listen to her, its her house', my grandma manipulates him! ill be moving soon
Do you think my dad emotionally abuses me and my mother?
Hey there. To reply your major query: sure, you're being emotionally abused. I've been via what you are experiencing. When my more youthful sister used to be born (I used to be handiest six by means of then), my mom started to behave bloodless in the direction of me. No extra cuddling, not more kisses, not more smiling, no not anything. Even at that smooth age, I realize that she's now not the equal loving mom that I used to understand anymore. Things received worse while my father moved to one other town upon getting a advertising. She will get irritated on even the littlest matters. I used to be suicidal, depressed. I have incredibly low self worth and regardless of being academically effective, I suck in socializing. She continually when compared me to a subsequent-door neighbor's daughter who used to be allegedly "very hardworking, obeys her mum and dad greater than you do" and I used to be additionally requested the equal query : "why are not able to you be similar to her?" She referred to as me names too, or even had stated "If I knew you are going to prove this manner, I will have to have strangled you correct once you had been born." Now after a couple of years relocating again with our father, she turns out extra managed, however her nagging and insults on no account quit. What I did to triumph over this problem is to discover a well pal to speak to. Even if he/she are not able to deliver any recommendation related to the problem, letting the whole thing from your chest as soon as in a even as will make you think higher. I additionally cry plenty. I'm a cry little one, however crying continually helped me to unlock all of the sh*t that I've bottled up. I desire you well success, expensive.