I am 21 and anti social. Is this okay?
I am a male who s 21 and I don't have any friends. I am a loner. I usually am on my computer and I was like this from a VERY long time. Is this okay? I just don't know how to make friends.
Is it bad to not socialize?
Let me just start out by saying I'm introverted. I'm not shy, I get along great with people, and I enjoy talking to people. I know it's not bad to be introverted but in my case it has effected my social life. I just enjoy being alone more than being with other people. I'm not saying I don't like being around people, it's just that I enjoy time alone more. I go to school and talk to plenty of people but don't hang out with anybody outside of school. I go to a small private school and each graduating class is like 60 people so there aren't a whole lot of people to hang out with. Also there are a lot of people I would prefer not to hang out with who are just not great friends and are bad influences (ik that sounds dumb but it's really true). I think the problem might be that I worry a lot about what others think of me and that I worry they might not enjoy my company, although I've got nothing to back that up. I know I shouldn't think like that, but I do. Is it really bad that I'm never wth my friends outside of school? And if you think it is, please give me some advice cause I'm all ears! And please don't be rude.
I'm not very social or open?
You're shy. You have a fear of "failure". Failure that someone at these social situations wont like you, think your pretty, etc. You need to realize not everyone will like you, or think your pretty, etc. But do you like everyone? Learn to accept that you don't need to be liked by everyone, or learn to enjoy being alone. And being alone, does not mean necessarily lonely. Being anti-social does not have to be a bad thing. Solitude, and maybe sometimes being with a very small group is more acceptable to people. Either way, think about how you are, and accept or change yourself.
Why am I not a very sociable person?
It sounds like you are an introvert. Which is totally normal and completely okay! Nowadays people think that partying is the only thing that every person should enjoy to really have fun, and those who never go out are considered boring people who don't know how to have fun. But every person is different. Everyone consider different things to be fun.I completely know what you are trying to say here. I am an ambivert which means I am both introverted but also extroverted. I have my feet on both sides. It can be quite confusing at some times. As an introvert when I’ve been with my friends for too long, I need to “charge my batteries” it means that I need some time alone because I enjoy to do my own thing without being judged or bothered. But as an extrovert, I do also find parties fun to a certain extent. It’s fun to meet new people, dance and take a few drinks. BUT this does not mean that partying is the only thing I need to have “fun”. I like to party sometimes but not too often, I find it tiring after a while.Don’t feel bad for not always wanting to go out and preferring to stay home. Don’t believe that partying is something everyone enjoys and that you are having less fun for not going to parties. If you are curious, just try to go to a party if you get the chance sometime. See if you really enjoy it or if you actually realize that you don’t have to party to have fun. Either way, it’s your choice, and you are not weird or boring for preferring to be alone more often than always being social. It’s who you are and it’s completely normal. Unfortunately you just happen to live in a world where it’s easier to be extroverted. But don’t let that hold you back, being an introvert is awesome!If you have tumbler you should check out these accounts:Introvert Problemshttp://psych2go.me
What makes you enjoy being alone?
I really prefer to be alone. I typically don’t connect with people, and I don’t want to. I don’t dislike people, or feel like they are not good enough to be my friend, nor am I concerned that I am not good enough to be theirs. I just really enjoy being alone.When I was in college. I had people with whom I used talk to, but I find that after several minutes of conversation, I have “had my fill” socially, and excuse myself. I never feel isolated or lonely, but after brief conversation, I feel content, and want to go elsewhere, and be by myself. I spend time with some extremely close personal friend. Aside from them , I feel no desire for companionship.I have always been like this. I am not unhappy, I do not feel excluded, lonesome, or depressed about it. On the contrary, when people push me for social interaction, I feel aggrivated, uncomfortable, and pining for my solitude. When I go out with other people, I feel bored and sluggish, counting the minutes, and waiting for an opportunity to leave. I am not particularly shy, nor am I viewed as strange, or antisocial. I am normal and nice, but I really just want to be left alone. I hate being called, I hate getting text messages, and I REALLY hate the pressure to respond.Whenever I get a text or call from someone I don’t want to talk to, my heart races. Maybe it’s some kind of social anxiety but I don’t feel “anxious” in social situations. But I hate being asked to go out somewhere , and texting or talking on the phone feels tedious and forced. I like people, I just feel like my desire to interact with them is very, VERY limited.