How do you feel about people who are "queer by choice"?
I think queer-by-choice people are pretty effin' awesome . . . but at the same time, I don't agree with their feeling that EVERYBODY has the ability to become queer, just the same as I hate it when people imply that sexuality is ALWAYS something you're born with. Neither are true- there are people on both sides, and I don't think it's conflicting to say that some people can obviously choose their sexuality and that many of us can't. And of course I dislike the insinuation that heterosexuality is boring. Still, I think it rocks that these people exist, because 1) they shake up the system, 2) they send an entirely different, wonderful message, one that says "Being queer is something that people can and do desire." versus the implicit message that usually gets sent out, which is more like "I didn't choose this, and if I had a choice, I *so* wouldn't because, ewww, homosexuality is gross! But I didn't choose this gross lifestyle, so please accept me!". EDIT: Reading over these answers makes me sad. It's funny how insecure most people are, and how even one person saying "Hey, I chose my sexuality." somehow invalidates and threatens theirs, so they have to jump up and scream "No! No! They're just bisexuals and are lying!". What the f*ck ever happened to listening to people and accepting their identities and what they're saying? For so many years, gay and lesbian folks have had to endure people telling us "Oh, you're not really gay, you just haven't met the right woman, honey." as we stubbornly protested "No- I KNOW HOW I FEEL.". So why are we turning the tables, being hypocrites, and doing the same thing to others, denying their self-identification and telling them that we know better? I think it sucks that our community is so close-minded.
What is the politically correct term for someone from India?
I am a Native woman. The first term the colonizers used to refer to Native people was Indian. They forced this term upon us, we did not choose it for ourselves. This term is generally considered slightly offensive to Native people. Eventually society and the government realized this wasn't an appropriate term. Now the politically correct term is Native American. It refers to all Native American (Indian) people. Again. We did not choose this term! Many Native people prefer to be called: Native, Indigenous, Tribal, or by their specific tribe's names. If anyone has a problem with the term Native American they should complain to the U.S. government (not Native people) and ask the government to allow Natives to choose their own terminology. As for if it is offensive to Indian (from India) people I do not know. I just hope they know it is not the choosing of Native people to be called this. I would not want to offend anyone as a Native person. I respect their opinion in this matter. What I generally hear people refer to Indians from India as is: East Indian. But I do not know if this is correct and it is not my place to say so since I am not from India.
Since this was A2A to me, I am going to assume you're looking for an explanation from a psychological point of view. To begin, if this lack of emotion is observed behavior, it is possible the person is simply not very emotionally expressive. Some people wear their hearts on their sleeves and some people keep their feelings to themselves. From an observational standpoint, it may appear that the person is emotionless when in reality they just don't let it out for the world to see. Neither way is right or wrong, just different.If the person is truly lacking in emotion (what we call decreased affect), there are a number of possible reasons. In our current culture, it seems that people automatically look toward the psychopath/sociopath explanation, but there are many other possibilities. To clarify, psychopathy and sociopathy are personality traits, not diagnoses. Everybody has these traits to some degree. If a person's psychopathic or sociopathic traits rise to the level of clinical significance there are several possible diagnoses, the most commonly known of which is antisocial personality disorder. Of course, there are additional criteria to be considered when making such a diagnosis. Other disorders for which decreased affect is listed in the criteria include schizoaffective disorder, schizoid personality disorder, bipolar disorder, emotional trauma/PTSD, and the entire spectra of depressive and anxiety disorders.An abundance of everyday stress can also lead one to feeling emotionally numb. This numbness is usually temporary and self-corrects once the stressor is removed and a short recovery period is experienced. In summary, there are many and varied explanations for decreased affect. Some are self-correcting and some require professional intervention. There is no one name or label to put on that person. Every person and every situation is different.
How can you forgive someone who was never sorry?
I'm neither athiest, nor Christian, so I can't give you God and won't attempt it. But the issue of forgiveness doesn't have anything to do with whether the other person's sorry about, except on a shallow, superficial, meaningless level. Forgiveness is a gift to yourself. A means of distancing yourself from negative experience. Doesn't matter whether you're forgiving yourself, or forgiving someone else. But on some other, maybe less important level, forgiveness is the great leveller. It's a means of establishing the boundaries between what's 'yours', and what belongs to someone else. Forgiveness is a sort of official stamp on our lives, an affirmation that we're flawed, we're humans, we're all in the same boat, and we all make 'mistakes' and lousy judgements about what we want to do and how we want to do it. Then there's back to the matter of boundaries. Failure to forgive is an inner-demand on those around you to behave as you wish them to behave. An attempt to control the choices, limit them to satisfy your own values. Poisonous stuff.
Can a straight person become gay?
I've never heard of a case where a gay person claimed that they had been straight and something changed. Usually, they say that they've been hiding this aspect of their personality, didn't want to admit it, didn't want to come out of the closet, etc. Consider: Say you're 15 years old. You're surrounded by people who, if they find out you are gay, will endlessly ridicule you, and maybe even beat you up. You're sexual feelings are still new and you're still trying to figure out how to deal with the world - you'll probably really really want to be heterosexual. You're going to try like hell to make it work - and maybe you will. Maybe you'll never be wholly sexually satisfied but that isn't the most important thing to you. But most likely, you'll come to a critical point later on in your life where you can't stand "living the lie". You may not come out of the closet, but you'll still seek out someone of your own gender. So, did you turn from straight to gay? And of course, there are people who are bi-sexual and find that they are attracted to different things in different people, and those things change as they grow. They may have a string of male partners, a string of female partners and go back and forth. We don't consider those people as changing from homo- to hetero-sexual. We consider them bi-sexual.
Can you choose the rest of your emotions and feelings—particularly the negative ones like anger, resentment, boredom, envy and the like? If you have no control over how you feel, then you cannot choose if you love someone or not.Love is an interesting word. It’s hard to nail down. When you love someone, you’re proud of their accomplishments. You admire them for traits like resilience, courage, independence, and healthy self-esteem. But it goes far past that—it’s the way you feel when they’re around because of how they treat you. Which is ideally with respect, compassion, and affection. Love is not just what someone means to you, but what they mean to others in their circle—and the rest of the world.If someone treats you well, and everything else falls into place (physical attraction and good communication), love is a foregone conclusion.You can control how you feel about someone. Those who say that love is a choice are only partially correct. Showing up and being present because you think you ought to isn’t love, but rather, obligation. I had a really shitty job once. I went to work every day out of duty and obligation. But it would be a bald-faced lie to say I loved it.Showing up and being present because you want to is love.
Thank you for the request.Quotes like everything else can mean different things to different people. However, I will explain what this quote means to me based on my own perception.To me this quote means two things. The first part of it, ‘Some feel the rain’ to me is an allusion to the difficulties in life. The second sentence ‘others just get wet’ is a contradiction to the first sentence. While some people are truly burdened by the difficulties of life to the point where they really feel it strongly, other people ‘just get wet’ or just experience it lightly. Not to the same degree or extent. The rain is a metaphor for the troubles in life I believe. Some feel it more than others and some like bob said ‘just get wet’. In other words, people do not experience pain on the same spectrum.I hope that this helped you.
Can a person realy change their sexuality?
Can gay people change their sexual orientation or gender identity? (information from PFLAG FAQ) There are religious and secular organizations which sponsor campaigns and studies suggesting that GLBT people can change their sexual orientation or gender identity. Their assertions assume that there is something wrong with being GLBT - the largest problem is, in fact, society's intolerance of difference. PFLAG believes that it is our anti-GLBT attitudes, laws and policies that need to change, not our GLBT loved ones. Many of the studies and campaigns suggesting that GLBT people can change are based on ideological biases rather than solid science. Claims of conversion from gay to straight tend to be poorly documented, full of flawed research with a lack of follow-up. No studies show proven long-term changes in gay or transgender people, and many reported changes are based solely on behavior and not a person's actual self-identity. The American Psychological Association has stated that scientific evidence shows that reparative therapy (therapy which claims to change GLBT people) does not work and that it can do more harm than good.
Why do some people here choose not to display avatars?
One of my contacts has steadfastly refused to don an avatar. My speculation is one of a high level of introversion which does not even translate into being outreaching on-line. In extension, having a 360 page of any kind, even if to just have a picture, might be a problem for them. Some wish to take anonymity to a high level, and I respect that. Another possible rationale is one of egalitarianism. By not having a image associated with their account, they are saying that they would rather have their answer judged on its own merits instead of the person behind it. We humans have certain natural prejudices (and not always bad ones) where we might unknowingly select someone or refuse to select someone based on some representation of themselves. (Of course, no image is itself a representation, so it's not overly effective as the question admits.) In terms of knowing anything about someone, keep in mind that an avatar can be rather different from their actual image. There may be some gender-benders that use an avatar of the opposite sex, or some that use a different skin colour. Perhaps the avatars that people do use are what they might imagine themselves to be rather than what they actually are. (I know that I would rather be as skinny as mine.)